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Mr. T is a beacon of hope in our cold and dark world.
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Today's Featured Article - Style

Microsoft chic

The question: "what is style?". It's one that losers have been asking themselves for centuries. Decade after decade, generations of young men and women furrow their acned brows and study magazines and television programs, or obsessively follow around more popular kids scribbling Susan and Chris 2gether 4ever or Chris's Mom iz a Hooker! or Now Chris's Bitch-mom Whore Will Never Stand in our Way Again!!! in their spiral notebooks, as they vainly attempt to understand what separates them from the enviable world of style.

Like the BTK serial killer, or a delicious Taco Bell burrito, style consists of three essential elements linked by a thematically unifying central concept. In the case of BTK, the three elements of binding, torturing, and killing his victims are components in a sexually gratifying fantasy that allows him to indulge a pathological god-complex. In the case of a satisfying and inexpensive Yum!-brand Taco Bell burrito, the fried, flavor-enhanced bean product, "cheese," and non-dairy vegetable-gum based sour cream, are wrapped in a chewy soft tortilla shell to provide a cost-effective taste sensation. (more...)

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Selected anniversaries

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July 18: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day

  • 1835 - Bobwire is invented by Bob "Two-thumbs" McGinty.
  • 1863 - American Civil War: Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, and Morgan Freeman charge a Confederate fort in what is commonly agreed to be one of the most passionate scenes in cinema history.
  • 1872 - Britain introduces secret ballot voting so that aristocrats across the country may more convincingly drop their monocles in indignant surprise after the rabble have their way.
  • 1879 - Oscar Wilde obtains the cane he becomes known for posing with during a contest of wit with a man owning a cane.
  • 1883 - Jimmy the Cowboy is born in what is believed to be Kentucky.
  • 1969 - Mary Jo Kopechne & Sen. Ted Kennedy plunge off Chappaquiddick Bridge, thus tying up all the loose ends.
  • 1971 - Hunter S. Thompson has a rather nasty trip. Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day established in honor of this occasion.
  • 1990 - Interruptions continued to occur in all aspects of daily business as people repeatedly were urged to "stop" during the period known as "Hammer Time".

Archived Anniversaries

Word of the day

procrastination
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.

In the news

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Did you know...

  • ... that intellectual theft refers to the stealing of one's ideas, not his IQ points?

Do you care...

  • ... that Usain Bolt is so fast, he can run 100 meters in the same time as he can run 10 decameters?


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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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