Babel:Falwell

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The official Encyclopedia of Liberty University.
31,417 articles in (American) English

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Welcome to Falwellapedia

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Falwell-650

Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly 66 canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.

Jerry's Daily Sermon:

"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them." Crossfire (17 May 1997)

Daily Historical Falwell Quote:

"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."

On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)

Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the too-liberal Conservapedia here.

Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Super-delegate

Yesterday's Featured Article - Super-delegate

MP JFK

A Super-delegate, in the American political system, is a delegate, especially to a national Presidential nominating convention, who is endowed with super-powers. Although both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party like to go through the motions of soliciting voter input on who should be the Party's Presidential candidate, actual voters are, to put it mildly, morons. Frequently, the Party must contrive to both thank them for their valued contribution and hit the figurative Revert button.

The hoi polloi tirelessly coalesce around a candidate with inspiring new ideas, be it Bernie Sanders with his untested concept of socialism, or Ron Paul with his assertions that American tourism caused the Middle East to erupt until Jews had to dynamite the World Trade Center during the September 11 attacks. When such candidates gain traction, insiders (the "party-archy") need to turn away from the hoi polloi, consult with other polloi, and pick a candidate who is more electable, electability judged by persons who cannot persuade anyone of any actual idea.

(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured UnDebate:Shouldn't we discuss this like adults?, featured on 1 July 2014. See the featured version.
Invader Zim, featured on 1 July 2011. See the featured version.

Breaking News

Gunsandgod

"You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, resurrected hands."

On this day...

Dennisrodmantribute

July 1: Dennis Rodman Appreciation Day (in Canada), Canada Day (in most other countries).

  • 1863 - The Battle of Gettysburg begins. One hundred forty years later, Brooke leaves me, sparking my own personal battle.
  • 1867 - The British North America Act takes effect as the Constitution of Canada, creating the Canadian Confederation, and laying down the first widely accepted standard rules of hockey.
  • 1890 - Canada and Bermuda are linked by telegraph cable; Canada briefly enjoys participation in the Bermuda Triangle until a lobster severs the connection.
  • 1933 - The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration; the dreams of countless Chinese youths of playing hockey for a career are sundered.
  • 1970 - Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers is honored on Canada Day as the Canadian of the Year.
  • 1980 - O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada, replacing Canada Is Pretty Neat, Eh?
  • 2020 - The United States invades Canada with the intention of creating the massive new national park "Mooseland". After arriving, however, nothing of any interest was found, and all armed forces were withdrawn from the area.

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9-11

9-Eleven, a world-wide chain of convenience stores serving the needs of those who seek to overthrow whichever hated oppressor is in vogue at the time, is now owned by a conglomeration of businessmen operating out of Afghanistan for tax purposes. People often call them when they need fat. In a bun.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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