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Falwellapedia has over 10,000 educational, clean, and concise entries, including exactly66canonical texts. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 171,699 reversions of heretical edits.
Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
Worcester (pronounced "Woo-ster"), also known locally as "Wu, Glorious Wu", is a city and high-street consumer colony of Worcestershire, in the West Middle countryside of England. Often overshadowed by its noisy neighbour Birmingham, Worcester is mother to a brand of porcelain, Worcestershire sauce, and a Royal brothel, and was the setting for the blockbusting grand finale of the English Civil War.
Worcester is twinned with the Vatican City, due to its importance to the Catholic faith as the site where a virgin swan laid a clutch of eggs, which Pope Boniface IV ate in an omelette. The eggs were later depicted in a series of works commissioned by the Vatican and painted by religious artist Salvador Dali. (more...)
This is October 28th: National Realism Day / 2nd Bolognese Day (First Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster) / Carp de Diem (US: Day of the Goldfish), Feast day of Saint Jude (usually celebrated by going "Nah, nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey Jude" for fifteen minutes). Also this is play Cod black ops and don't do ur homework day. US only. u die if u not in US and u celebrating this holiday.
1066 - William the Bad Motherfucker PWNZ the Saxon army. Maybe they should have stopped playing so much damn jazz and maybe picked up a sword, eh?
1492 - Christopher Columbus lands in Cuba, stocks up on Cuban cigars, Che Guevera memorabilia.
1835 - In Paris, nothing happened the entire day that was worth rioting about. Rioting ensues.
1955 - John McClane born in Yippee-Ki-Yay, MF.
1955 - Bill Gates is born. Biblical scholars widely regard this as one of the signs of the End Times described by the Bible in Revelations 4:16 ("Yea, and there shall come a great Monopolist, and this Octopus shall cast his tentacles wide, and He shall spread darkness upon the land, in the form of buggy software, security holes, and poor interface design")
1956 - Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is born. His childhood is marked by several instances of being dropped on his head and drinking paint thinner.
1793 - Eliphalet Remington, American firearms manufacturer, was born. Americans traditionally celebrate his birthday by turning to the person on their left and shooting them.
1942 - The Alaska-Canadian Highway (Alcan) is completed, allowing Alaskans easy access to thousands of pounds of primo BC bud.
2001 - God loses concentration for a minute and the sun sets on the British Empire, the British take this opportunity to take the whole world....bar France... again. Why can the frogs never be conquered?!?!?
2010 - Old MacDonald claims that Michael Jackson appeared to him, on his farm, dressed as Captain EIEIO.
2011 - God admits that Bill Gates does have more money than him.
2012 - America relizes they made the worst genicide of them all and killed the indians then they gave the country back to them and it ends globel warming.
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many monthsyears to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!