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Jerry's Daily Sermon:
"Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them."
Crossfire (17 May 1997)
Daily Historical Falwell Quote:
"Han, Han. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of spice. I just can't make exceptions. Where would I be if every pilot who smuggled for me dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
On Han Solo's loss of Jerry the Hutt's illegal cargo (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, Special Conservative Edition, 1997)
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Today's Featured Article -
Arthur Charles Clarke (16 December 1917 – 19 March 2008) is a world-famous fortune teller who lived much of his life far away from everything (that is, in Sri Lanka) so he could write outlandish science fiction novels. Born in Minehead, England, he grew up daydreaming and doing nothing, which naturally led him to a high-ranking position in the Royal Air Force. After singlehandedly winning World War II using radars and articles about satellites, he embarked on a writing career. Despite getting help from Stanley Kubrick, Isaac Asimov, and various weird aliens, his literary wit was limited to "Woohoo! Spaceships! Aliens! Spaceships and aliens! In space!!" He became famous in latter life as the author of three versions of essentially the same book, and as a guy who looked dreamy-eyed into a camera whilst talking about unexplained phenomena.
Clarke made a large number of claims, which some have linked to his rampant self-absorption. In 1942, he successfully claimed to have invented the typewriter and underwear, whilst less than a year later he claimed water was based on one of his earlier ideas. Among his future predictions was a colony on the moon, a space elevator, a utopian society on Earth and widespread space travel. Have those things happened yet? Well, I'm sure the eggheads are working on it... While we're waiting, we can read some nice science fiction about it.
Clarke is the author of numerous science fiction novels, such as Childhood's Beginning, Fountains of Wank,
and his groundbreaking novel Rendezvous Without Rama.
Because of a massive writer's block
, many of his writings were short stories
- his best known short story is If I Forget Thee, Oh Earth,
about a rather serious case of amnesia
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