Babel:En

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Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit.


Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'!

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Yesterday's Featured Article - Trump Tower

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The Trump Tower is the Manhattan headquarters of the Trump Organization and home of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, who lives with wife Melanoma in the penthouse bachelor pad. Though only the 64th tallest building in New York City, it is far better than all the others, so much better, you're going to see just how much better. It essentially is taller than all the rest. (more...)

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Lest we forget

January 20: Nobody edit Uncyclopedia Day Or Else

Too-fuckin-good

Why do I get my Hopes up?

  • 1492 - Columbus becomes president of America.
  • 1937 - The 20th Amendment is passed, forcing all presidental candidates to compete in a 100-meter dash to decide the primaries. Surprisingly, Franklin D. Roosevelt is the first president to win this event.
  • 1942 - The Nazi Party gives the final solution to the "Jewish question", though the Jews insist that they were just asking for directions.
  • 1984 - Armies of Oceania defeat Eurasian armies in the Congo.
  • 1988 - Everybody ignored this holiday.
  • 1992 - Governer Bill Clinton beats Paul Tsongas in the primaries. Investigations as to whether or not Clinton bit part of Tsongas's ear off in the final stretch are launched.
  • 2004 - Pinky and the Brain finally take over the world, and are then killed by Joe Cartoon in a blender.
  • 2007 - People are still intent on ignoring this holiday.
  • 2008 - No-one has edited Uncyclopedia! Until I just did. Oh shit.
  • 2009 - International Change Day. Citizens of the 'Homeless Undead'-ridden Californian cities get a day of reprieve from demands for change as the masses of change-hungry 'Zombos' are distracted by a change of power in Washington
  • 2010 - Some n00b edits Uncyclopedia.
  • 2300 - after leaving earth after 2012, humans finally get to the only safe planet, uranis.
  • 2301 - finally people decide to wipe uranis clean of those mean little stinky brown blobs.

Ye Royal Archives


Paddington Blair's word for today is
procrastination
Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.

Auntie Beeb reports:

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Second Front Pages: BrexitHillary!TrumpUK 2015 electionGreece


More Current Events at Beeb News


Did you chaps know...

  • ...that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!

edit Do you blimey care...

  • ...that compromise is a great diplomatic tool?
    • ...although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?


Care to read more?

United Empire Loyalist of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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