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Today's Featured Article - Hillsdale College

Hillsdale College, old

Hillsdale College in Hillsdale, Michigan is a coeducational institution granting degrees including the Doctor of Reaganomics. National Review has called Hillsdale "the conservative Harvard," while

Mother Jones refers to it as "an awful place to smoke dope and get laid." It is notorious for its regularity in poking a curricular finger in the eye of government. Its Division II wrestling team plays in both the Greco-Roman and Judeo-Christian formats. Hillsdale is so God-awfully far from any expressway that going home for the weekend is as tedious as the universally mandated reading of the classics.

Hillsdale was founded as Michigan Boondocks College, as the town of Hillsdale at that point was called Spring Arbor and just as far from civilization as it is today. Hillsdale was pious before piety even became fashionable, its charter prohibiting excluding anyone from anything because of religious opinions, and being equally willing to nag Christians as heathens. Hillsdale was affiliated with the Free will Baptists, as is only Bates College in Maine, and Hillsdale remains the choice of all students who do not want to leave with a resumé listing their "Masters-Bates."

Hillsdale also prohibited race and sex discrimination, admitting African Americans (who weren't called that yet) in 1844, and in 1851 graduating Michigan's first woman student with the Spinster of Arts. In 1856, it became Michigan's largest college, as in that century learning still used to win out over creating new jobs in government. (more...)

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Symphonia, the Greek goddess of rock (Opera in Roman mythology) was one of the lesser goddesses born to Tethys and Oceanus. She is said to bless those who truly appreciate "a killer riff" by turning herself into a sculpture made out of stone (it is assumed marble). She is considered a lesser goddess because this happened only once.

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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


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To be completely honest,
I didn't get those awards.