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Today's Featured Article - Cherry

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A cherry is a deep red fruit that looks kind like a petite pair of buttocks, and is reputed to improve anything it is placed on top of, kind of like a petite pair of buttocks. A typical cherry is composed of: A hard pip or stone to choke on. Some juicy blood red flesh to ruin your white shirts with. A little stalk or handle to be carelessly thrown over your shoulder because no one wants the mess through a pile of stalks for another juicy cherry.

However they also taste really, ridiculously sweet when ripe, and for that they are considered the (cherries and) cream of the fruit crop. Hence the term "cherry-picking" for selecting only the best and leaving everyone else the mediocre choices akin to the squashed grapes and gooey brown bits of pear at the bottom of a fruit salad.

Cherries grow on a blossoming tree beloved by the Japanese and hated by George Washington. The objective truth is somewhere between the opinions of the 120 million Asians and the one Founding father; the flowers of the cherry tree are not as persuasive as roses, but a visit toTokyo to see them would surely be enough to convince anyone to pop your cherry, so to speak. (more...)

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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Jesus! Only 2 days left to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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To be completely honest,
I didn't get those awards.