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31,021 Capitalists Exterminated

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Communist Literature

Today's Featured Article - Einstein's Theory of Relativity

Einstein

Einstein's Theory of Relativity as proposed in a joint paper by Albert Einstein and Jacques Lacan, states that all relatives in a family were only in their various positions in the family relative to one another in a fixed point in time or space. For instance, a father is a father to a child and he is a brother to his brother. Thus the same person is both a father and a brother, from two different points of view. This is of minimum use in Physics, but Einstein had lots of Ph.D.s and qualifications to make it sound really important, so people credited him with the discovery anyway.

As such, it was one of the most important inventions in history, paving the way for the temporal paradox, the engine which powers the Time machine used by Professor Marty McFly in his famous time travel documentary Forward to the Past.

Albert Einstein's 1905 rant On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies introduced the wild guess of relativity. Einstein's marketing agent suggested there may be some difficulty marketing a "wild guess," and in a brilliant marketing gambit, it was recast as a "Theory" or a "Principle."

While this principle was not new to Einstein's work, he found that putting a fork in the microwave oven may have seemed like fun, yet in the long run just ended up breaking the oven. The experiment was new, in its focus on placing various other objects in a microwave and seeing what happened. He found that the same power needed to spark a fork in the lab was equal to that required in a kitchen to be the same as that required to blow up a kitten, or melt a hydrated rose, regardless of their rotation or the motion of the body of food, flowers or fauna. Raindrops on roses and radiation on kittens were just a few of his favorite things. (more...)

Recently featured: Ted Cruz

Yesterday's Featured Article - Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz (born Rafael Edward Cruz) is the junior United States Senator from Texas. Elected in 2012 as a Republican, he is the first Hispanic or Cuban American to serve as a U.S. Senator from Texas. The term serve is used loosely, because he is running for President of the United States, and while running for President, he has very little time to fulfill his duties as a US Senator. Several analysts are concerned about his hopes in the current Presidential election because he does not actually qualify to be President in as much as he was born outside the United States as a Cuban Canadian, and the Constitution mandates that the President must be born within the US as a natural born citizen, but because that didn't stop President Obama, Cruz believes it will not be an issue for him either.

Christened Rafael Edward Cruz, he was born to Eleanor Elizabeth Darragh Wilson, and Rafael Bienvendo Cruz in Toronto, Canada on December 22, 1970. At the time Ted was born, his father worked in the oil industry in Canada. Rafael Cruz Sr. owned a company that processed seismic data for oil drillers and he was very gifted at processing the data until the oil drillers got the results they wanted. He had learned how to process data from his time in Cuba fighting with Castro's good ol' boys as an interpretation specialist. Any information that needed to be reinterpreted or processed went through Rafael Cruz Sr. before being sent out through official channels. Ted's Father left Cuba in 1957 to attend the University of Texas where "I got me some learnin'", as he would say on graduation in one of his humorous attempts to imitate a Texas drawl.

Cruz's mother, Eleanor Wilson Cruz, was born and raised in Wilmington, Delaware, of Irish and Italian descent, and she has the typical temperament of someone with that heritage, or at least the temperament of an average mother. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Drawing, featured on 26 May 2014. See the featured version.
Political correctness, featured on 26 May 2012. See the featured version.
HowTo:Annoy Richard Dawkins, featured on 26 May 2011. See the featured version.
Spider, featured on 26 May 2010. See the featured version.

All You Need To Know Is...

*...that none of the links in this sentence have anything to do with it?

The People's Controlled Media

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On This Day...

Pantsonhead

May 26: Wear Pants On Your Head Day

  • 1907 - Vauxhall Bridge is opened in Beijing.
  • 1958 - Yamahachi "Iron Chef Iron Shavings" Tsuharo is born in Cape Town, South Africa.
  • 1963 - Unicorns are discovered in Portugal.
  • 1963 - Unicorns are extinct in Portugal.
  • 1973 - "Let's not celebrate this day" festival is celebrated for the first and last time.
  • 1979 - The Afro haircut becomes compulsory in the 48 contiguous states. (Alaska follows suit in 1983.)
  • 1980 - Spain Declares war on Pope "Eggs benedict IV" for previous remarks
  • 1981 - Boy George is proclaimed Queen of England.
  • 1982 - Boy George is deposed in violent uprising of bagpipe makers.
  • 1985 - Peter Pan spins in his grave as Michael Jackson's Neverland is built.
  • 1999 - The Y2K Bug dies squashed under a rock.
  • 2002 - Mars Odyssey ship finds signs of rocks on the planet Mars.
  • 2003 - First Masked Avenger found drunk lying in a puddle with dead hooker in lap. Law suits ensue and first official 'Sue a Super' day commences.
  • 2004 - The Vienna Boys Choir release a choral version of "Whip It !" that ranks #22 on the Billboard.
  • 2011 - Somebody uses the word 'bacon' in a sentence.

Featured picture

Cardboardmini

It is evident that the car has come a long way since its original cardboard chassis design.

Image Credit: Hindleyite
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Recent Propaganda

Chuck E. Cheese's | Metadata | Mutant | Jamie Bryson | Darkhad | Arthur (show) (rw) | Fart rape | Tom Brady (rw) | New meat from the Surprise Me! Spring Festival: Ted Cruz | Box-spring | Chamber pot | Coming soon | First-past-the-post voting | Hurricane | Noble gases | Tenshi Hinanawi | Grassington | Whey | Granny Smith | Katie Hopkins | Audiophile | Tofurkey | Debug (film) | Jelly beans | Scurvy | Selfie stick | Al Stewart | Ð | Miniaturization | Magazine | Turtle



More recent propaganda | Most wanted propaganda | Requested propaganda | Add to stubs | Lonely propaganda | Propaganda Review | Try writing propaganda about... | Stuck propaganda needing a push

Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month

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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

Communpedia's sista projects

Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

Communpedia Sista1 MP CommUnNews
The news source on crack
CommunpediaPotato CommUncyclopedia
The capitalist-free encyclopedia
Communpedia Sista6 MP CommUndictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Communpedia Sista2 MP CommUnTunes
Music to piss off the savage beast


Communpedia Sista8 MP Communist Women Go Wilde Project
Communpedia's founder tells all
CommUnMeta
How Communpedia doesn't work
Communpedia Sista4 MP CommUnBooks
Capitalist-free books
Communpedia Sista5 MP CommUnquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Communpedia Sista7 MP CommUncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it


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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,021 articles. Uncyclopedias are also being written in many other languages:

Complete list · Multilingual coordination · How to start a Uncyclopedia in another language · Requests for new languages Protected By Иосиф Сталин & the Communist Party. </span>

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