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Today's Featured Article - Renewable energy

Photoshopped burning wind turbine

Renewable energy is another approximation made by physicists to simplify a problem that is too difficult to solve. In the same way that a cow might be treated as a point mass from a million miles away, researchers are more than delighted to assume that the sun will last forever as an energy source, in order to further spoil the world into increasing its rate of energy consumption and dwarfing the copious amounts of energy wasted in luxuries such as the Large Hadron Collider.

Inasmuch as scientists have been ungrateful toward their Creator, they have now turned to the blasphemous worship of nature, in particular, the sun and mother earth. Instead of finding ways to reduce human energy consumption, society is encouraged to continue in wastefulness in the hope that one day someone will have found out how to harness energy from the sun, wind, water or earth, allowing us to carry on chopping down trees and negating the efforts of the so-called "earth hour" in a millisecond's worth of high energy particle physics research.

Other groups envisage defecation and corpses as a power source for vehicles. However, by the time this becomes viable, the digestive system will have evolved to be so efficient that no caloric energy would remain in any organic waste. A method cheaper and much more sustainable than government-funded research is to suspend all technology for 50 million years or so and watch much of the world's population naturally convert itself into fossil fuel, whilst hoping that Armageddon does not occur during this period; this alternative is not very popular among academics, as it will leave most of them unemployed. (more...)

Recently featured: Renewable energy

Yesterday's Featured Article - Supply-side Jesus

Jesus-salesman

Supply-Side Jesus is little-known outside of Republican circles, but his life has been chronicled recently by the biblical prophet Al Franken. It turns out that Supply-Side Jesus was a contemporary of that other Jesus, the Jesus of Nazareth. While this article is not about Jesus of Nazareth, but about the real, true, one and only Christ, the Supply-Side Jesus, we should allow Jesus of Nazareth at least a small footnote in this article. Jesus of Nazareth was, to those of you who don't know all these obscure Biblical references, and we'll just get this one out of the way: According to Edward S. Herman (an early scribe), Jesus of Nazareth was an early rabble-rouser of Communistic tendency, and the victim of an early witchhunt. It could even be asserted that he would be one of the first witches to ever be hunted. Jesus of Nazareth is often confused with Elvis Presley. While "Jesus's countenance was like lightning and his clothing white as snow" (Matt 28:3), Elvis had been seen on stage wearing snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts. And the two were never seen in the same place at the same time, which makes the similarity even more creepy.

Both Jesii have had some connection to wood and nails. Supply-Side Jesus ran a hardware store that sold dry goods to local contractors and home renovators. Jesus of Nazareth was at that time not widely-known and frequented the establishment due to their unbeatably low prices and courteous service, while oblivious to the fact that much of the tools and dry goods he was buying were made in Byzantine sweatshops using child labour; and that those who worked under Supply-Side Jesus signed an agreement not to ever join a union. Supply-Side Jesus established himself as the kind of salesman who was able to sell sand to Bedouins. Indeed, once he succeeded, a typical Bedouin he might have sold it to would curse himself the next day for his stupidity. Said bedouin could not return his sand for a refund, since he would never be able to prove that the sand he purcahsed was any different from the sand in the surrounding desert. What was he thinking?

Supply-Side Jesus also sold clay and limestone to build houses that were not much different from the clay and limestone which littered the landscape in those days. Jesus of Nazareth would also buy twigs and branches to make the walls and thatched roofs of the houses in his contractual territory, which covered a sprawling Jerusalem suburb known as Bethlehem. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Television, featured on 3 March 2014. See the featured version.
UnScripts:Tony Hancock: The Sperm Donor, featured on 3 March 2013. See the featured version.
Funny, featured on 3 March 2012. See the featured version.
In MS Paint With One Arm, While Furiously Masturbating, featured on 3 March 2011. See the featured version.
Opeth, featured on 3 March 2010. See the featured version.

All You Need To Know Is...

*...that none of the links in this sentence have anything to do with it?
  • ...that there are at least three other businesses like show business?

The People's Controlled Media

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On This Day...

March 3: International Beat Random People With a Metal Pipe Day
  • 4328 BC - Goa Tse born.
  • 1944 - It was Mr Green, in the Lounge, with the Lead Pipe.
  • 1970 - Tonya Harding is born.
  • 1987 - Well, now that I've finally done it, I might as well post it on the internet.
  • 1999 - Hey, this link doesn't look too bad. Let's see where it... OH MY GOD!
  • 2000 - One year free of that horrid image. Hey, my friend told me to go to a site. This couldn't possibly be bad... JESUS CHRIST! COME ON!
  • 2001 - Another link, I'm not falling for that one. But www.kittens.com, how could it be... WHY GOD WHY?!
  • 2002 - No more links. I swear - but hey, a movie file... GOOD LORD! THEY ANIMATED IT!
  • 2003 - It has been one year since I've gone blind, so I can now safely click on links to view webpages... "Listen to this article"?... OH COME ON! THAT IS DISTURBING.
  • 2004 - Now that I've gone deaf, all is well. Oh what is this, an image to braille converter? Hmm, I'll take a random image off my hard drive, convert... now lets see what it feels like... Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgghh!
  • 20X6 - Some future archeologist will uncover a server. Once getting it to work and viewing the lone image on it, he shall be forever disgusted believing our society a fan of people doing such things. He may also find the fossilized remains of Wikipedia after Oscar Wilde has eaten its brain.
  • 2007 Serial pest who goes by the name of "Tonigol" is arrested in Sydney for "Masturbating furiously" at the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

Featured picture

DaliStache

You want surreal? Try wasting four hours a day waxing your 'stache until it closely resembles your entire Catalonian name. That's surreal.

Image Credit: Imrealized
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Recent Propaganda

Speed Racer (rw) | Temporal paradox (rw) | UnBooks:Suffer the Little Children | She Blinded Me with Science | New meat from the writing competition: Supply-side Jesus | NBC | ENIAC | Raphael | Horace | Renewable energy | One Thousand and One Nights | Rembrandt | Relationships (images) | Hydrocarbon | Supply-side Jesus | Randy Travis | Wind (rw) | Charlie Hebdo | Christchurch (Dorset) | Invasive species (rw) | Horace Greeley | The Jackson 5 | The Cosby Show | Ido | Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw)



More recent propaganda | Most wanted propaganda | Requested propaganda | Add to stubs | Lonely propaganda | Propaganda Review | Try writing propaganda about... | Stuck propaganda needing a push

Monkey Chained To A Typewriter & Communist Youth of the Month

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Congratulations to Hardwick Fundlebuggy, our Monkey Chained To A Typewriter of the Year, and Mhaille, our Communpedian of the Year!

Communpedia's sista projects

Communpedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.

Communpedia Sista1 MP CommUnNews
The news source on crack
CommunpediaPotato CommUncyclopedia
The capitalist-free encyclopedia
Communpedia Sista6 MP CommUndictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
Communpedia Sista2 MP CommUnTunes
Music to piss off the savage beast


Communpedia Sista8 MP Communist Women Go Wilde Project
Communpedia's founder tells all
CommUnMeta
How Communpedia doesn't work
Communpedia Sista4 MP CommUnBooks
Capitalist-free books
Communpedia Sista5 MP CommUnquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Communpedia Sista7 MP CommUncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it


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