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Wednesday August 31 2005

Today's Featured Article - Tony the Tiger

Aslan

Antonio Di Tigretta (born February 6, 1930), more commonly known as Tony the Tiger is the Italian-American furry spokesperson and mascot of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes cereal (or Frosties, as they are known in frostier, rainier sections of the world). He first appeared as a spokesperson for Kellogg's in 1952, and despite the 65-year period in which Tony should have aged since then, he surprisingly looks no different to this day. It is believed this miracle in aging-prevention is due to the abnormal levels of sugar and e-numbers in Frosted Flakes.

As well as his work for Kellogg’s, Tony was trained as a linguist and was a talented wordsmith, famed for his essays and works about the political and social turmoil of the world (see We're Grrrreat, volumes I, II, III, and IV, a series of books concerned with the rise and fall of fascism in Italy in a broader social, political, and economic context). He was also known and honored for his charity work, appearing frequently on television in the tear-jerking Frosties Kid commercials, appealing for the improvement in the health and welfare of Frosties Kids everywhere.

Tony was reared in captivity at an unknown location, meaning the details of his infancy and childhood are sketchy. However, at some point in his upbringing, his carers managed to train him to speak English, a fact that has confounded scientists for many decades (Tony the Tiger...)

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January 23: Trail off in the middle of your sente...

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Writer of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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