Hwæt! Eald Ænglisc is an tunge sprecen bi Eald Ænglisc menn.

Dumbældore wæs eald and Ænglisc, ond wæs næs ever menn. Þæt wæs wifmann! And ne, Grendel wæs næs Gry! Ic willa næs macian bæd Beowulf refarenses in þes artæcel... Hwæt did þu sai?

Sub-tungues

Se Mersien sub-tunge of Eald Ænglisc wæs se sub-tunge sprecen in Mersie, oþþe Birmen Hæm.

Norðimbrian Inglis wæs sprecen in Noe Castel, ond wæs gelic to Mersien, butan wæs ænlic sprecen bi Noe Castle Unitad suppoorturs ond used 'ð'.

West Seaxon wæs se sub-tunge of Englis sprecen in West Seaxe ond Aest Englia, ond wæs diferent as it had feaw ligeturs.

Se Eld Centisc sub-tunge wæs gelic to West Seaxson, butan Centisc had ligeturs ond wæs cwæt gelic to Norðimbrian as it ealswa used 'ð' ond 'þ'. It wæs sprecen in Cent. Mara...

• ...that canned quotes are generally regarded as the best source of humor on Uncyclopedia?
• ...that God (born God Cohen in 4004BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world? Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH, a string of unpronouncable consonants?

• ...that canned quotes are generally regarded as the best source of humor on Uncyclopedia?
• ...that God (born God Cohen in 4004BC in Liverpool, England) is one of the most famous and prolific musicians in the Western world? Though he recorded under the name God during his early career, a contractual dispute with his former label led him to change his recording name to YHVH, a string of unpronouncable consonants?

• ...that canned quotes are generally regarded as the best source of humor on Uncyclopedia?

• Conspiracy: Michael Jackson not dead, M.J. Phone Home

• Grim Reaper commits suicide after massive week of celebrity deaths (pictured)

• Some old guy died, or something (ask your parents)

• Michael Jackson dies! Also Farrah Fawcett

• Obama Unveils Ambitious New Tit Access Package.

• McMahon fires Trump, dies.

• Glastonbury Festival Survival Tactics

• UnNews exclusive!! The God Interview

• U.N. recognizes WalMart

• Dick Dastardly to Join Formula 1

• UnNews:Obama swats a fly, causing the death of future maggot

• Farmers in despair as their cattle evolve

• The Revolution betrayed!

• Expenses fiddling MP's to be labelled

• Mrs. DeWinter's first name discovered

• 1200 BC - Maceþ God Ænglo-Frilsæn.
• 200 - Cleofeþ Eald Ænglisc fram Ænglo-Frilsæn.
• 1066 - Cleofeþ Middel Ænglisc fram Eald Ænglisc.
• 1485 - Cleofeþ Nu Ænglisc fram Middel Ænglisc.
• 2053 - Cleofeþ Meracan Ænglisc fram Nu Ænglisc.
• 3987 - Cleofeþ Galaxic Basic fram Meracan.

UnScripts:A Vignette From Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater | UnScripts:Trapped at Sea | UnBooks:Alibaba And The Forty Bikers | Why?:The Long Face? | Emo rap | Refugee Camp | LazyTown (rw) | Consumer Reports | Left 4 Dead (rw) | Call from Grandma | Bland Gift Manual, Prison City | Wild Bill Hickok | UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth | UnScripts:Heartbeat 2012 | Alternative Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous | Writing (rw) | High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home‎ | Surgeon General's Warning | UnTunes:I Will Possess Your Log | Aunt Ginny’s Saturday afternoon lunch at Bob Evans | Antbortion (rw) | Forest Whitaker's Lazy Eye | UnBooks:Michael Phelps Makes Me Sick | Why?:You shouldn't take acid before riding a bicycle | UnBooks:Duty

Mara recent pacges | Mast wolde pacges | Wolden rewrites | Add to stubs | Eall agnian cnights | Refiew | Trie writen anboutan...

Good morning congregation! whispers the Rabbi into the mike. Today we shall talk about moses and the lesson we learn from him and... shouts of Speak up! We can't hear you! and Not Moses again! continuously disturb his muttered speech. The Rabbi stands on the podium ashamed, his face ashen. When suddenly a slow smile appear on his worried face. With a fell swoop he drops his yamuka and place a pair of huge earphones on his head and with a flick of a finger the lights in the synagogue dim into a night club standard. A turntable appears from nowhere and the first sounds of hava nagila (techno version) start to hammer the surprised audience. OK now my fellow Jews whispers the Rabbi with a mamzerical smile Let's dance instead.

Midnight in a small Midwest town, all is quiet but the sound of clicking and ticking. What is that you say? Mice? Mosquitos? Aliens come to abduct us all? Oh no. No no no. It's Clemens again. Sitting by his computer, a fedora in a snobby angle on his head and a butt of Gauloises in his mouth, sweat drippping from his face. Must...write...another...article...wrote... only...353459...of...them...in...my...first...month...here... And indeed as we step away from his bedroom door, quietly getting out of the house before his mother catches us and call the cops, we can only admit that yes, Clemens writes good stuff. And yes. he writes much more than we do. And yes, he makes us all look bad. The bastard.

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