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1782 - The U.S. Congress established the Great Seal of the United States. It is a California Seal named Buster.
1801 - Buster killed in British terrorist attack on Brooklyn Zoo. Buster's daughter Bibi named National Seal.
1877 - Alexander Graham Bell installs the world's first telephone service so that he can build his phone sex empire - it was very successful.
1883 - Oscar Wilde completes his play The Duchess of Paduan, which would later be converted into the Star Wars septology.
1893 - Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother, mostly due to the court allowing Borden to brandish as axe at the prosecution, judge, jurors, and small children in the audience.
1923 - The United States Government interrupt 30 years of nothing happening on June 20 to wish everyone "a nice day."
1925 - The "Have A Nice Day" riots, triggered by Government action in 1923, finally subside.
1926 - Indictments for "Have A Nice Day" riots quashed. Judge says "have a nice day". Riots resume, ending after Martial Law declared.
1927 - Everyone finally has a nice day on Have A Nice Day Riots Day Day. Only minor rioting happens, as people too confused by name of day.
1959 - A rare hurricane struck Canada's Gulf of St. Lawrence, destroying vast Sasquatch habitat and postponing the National Curling Championships.
1963 - The United States and the Soviet Union establish the "red telephone" line so that the leaders of both nations can ask how each others' day was and generally make small talk, replacing the old method of communication between the two, threatening each other with nuclear war.
1973 - Snipers wish a happy day to a crowd in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Thirteen are greatly overcome with joy and more than 300 are left mildly ecstatic.
1994 - John Gotti acquitted after long trial. In closing arguments, lawyer Bruce Cutler asks jury to "find Mr. Gotti innocent or we'll wack you too!"
2289 - The British finally land on the moon. They discover that tea cannot be taken in 1/8 gravity, cancel mission amid a not so nice day.
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