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Did you know...

*...that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
  • ...verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ...that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
  • ...verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ...that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
  • ...verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ...that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?

In the news

On this day...

Isaac Newton

July 5: X Day; Day After We Kicked The Brits Ass Day (Southern US)

  • 334 BC - Masturbation is accidentally invented by Plato in Athens. His diciple Aristoteles is later declared "Master of his domain"
  • 1687 - Isaac Newton (pictured) discovers gravity after being hit on the head by a falling fig.
  • 1689 - After outbreak of falling fruit, Isaac Newton officially changes gravity to 7.
  • 1946 - The bikini is introduced in Paris, France. Later, no bikini atoll was the trend.
  • 1967 - The first kidney transplant to be made entirely of lego bricks ends in tragedy
  • 1998 - Aliens fail to turn up and fry everyone to a pink crisp.
  • 1999 - Again, the aliens miss the due date.
  • 2000 - Yet again, the aliens fail to meet their contractual obligations.
  • 2001 - Cultists get seriously pissed off with yet another no-show.
  • 2002 - Kooks consider taking legal action against missing aliens.
  • 2003 - Aliens turned up, but not the right aliens. Bloody mocking tourists.
  • 2004 - No one turns up because no one expects the aliens to. And, yup, they didn't.
  • 2005 - If you are reading this, the aliens did not turn up for the 8th year running.
  • 2005 - Longest fart in world history. Produced by AMB.
  • 2006 - That's right, still no aliens.
  • 2006 - Zombies become extinct.
  • 2007 - Deal or No Deal? The aliens decide to take the money and not show up - again!
  • 2010 - The Church Of The Subgenius hijacks the Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/July 5 page
  • 2155 - Aliens almost turned up but missed a left due to wrong directions and landed on Venus.
  • 2156 - Aliens turn up and land in Tokyo but flee due to a Gundam Statue that lit up at night.
  • 19447 - Aliens appear as tourists, but at this point no one cares.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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