Babel:ARCL

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,

the content-free article that anyone can edit
30,723 subpages in English

“I've never seen such urination-arity!”
~ Oscar Wilde on this page

“This is the Main Page”
~ Captain Obvious on this page

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

As it happens, a Main Page is a page of primarity, popularity and urination-arity

Today's featured paragraph

Splat

Nouvelle cuisine is the ideal answer when a restaurant becomes too popular. In these cases, the chef is worked off his or her feet trying to keep all those tables supplied with appetising, nutritious food. Increasing the prices may offer a temporary relief from the overpopularity of the eating-place, or it may instead create an atmosphere of quality and exclusiveness, thereby increasing customers further still. Switching from food to Nouvelle Cuisine helpfully reduces the number of customers to manageable proportions, without resorting to such unpopular or illegal measures as salmonella or e-coli.

No one single characteristic describes Nouvelle Cuisine. Rather, a combination of known attributes, when seen together, determine the style to exist.

  • Oversize plate: Nouvelle Cuisine dishes are invariably served on a plate at least three times the diameter required to hold the meal itself. Sometimes, the plate is so large that places must be double-spaced. The very large size of plate allows adequate free space, unencumbered with food, for the chef to demonstrate his or her artistic talent. It is also important that the plate is cold, preferably having been deep-frozen until a few minutes before serving. This coldness ensures that the customer has to eat-up quickly, thus freeing the table sooner.
  • Dusty eating surfaces: The plate, and any other surfaces carrying food shall be sufficiently dusty to create the impression of a possible hygiene concern. If plates do not remain unused long enough for natural dust to build up, then this may be substituted with flour, or in fact with any powdery material typically found in a kitchen. (more...)
Recently featured: Ad hominem - Cafeteria food

You know you're WTF when...



kumquat


Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail

Advanced search







Over 355,670 total flamewars purged.

Advertising









kumquat


Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail

Advanced search







Over 355,670 total flamewars purged.

Advertising









kumquat


Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail

Advanced search







Over 355,670 total flamewars purged.

Advertising









kumquat


Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail

Advanced search







Over 355,670 total flamewars purged.

Advertising









kumquat


Uncyc | Images | Forum | Users | UnMail

Advanced search







Over 355,670 total flamewars purged.

Advertising







Did you know...

*...that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
  • ...that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ...that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
  • ...that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ...that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
  • ...that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ...that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.

In the news

On this day...

William of Shatner

October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day

  • 1017 BC - Plato invents a wicked new toy, but squirrels it away for centuries. Not until the New King James translation of his world famous book The Republic is it rediscovered.
  • Nought-686 AD - Conan of Cimmeria becomes Pope, is contracted to star in Conan the Destroyer.
  • 1020 - Some German honkies were enjoyinng a very nice section of the Black Forest until some Romans come sack their village. Today is the day they payed those Degos back with interest.
  • 16-nought-Nine AD - Ninja Turtle Raphael starts beautifying some buildings in Rome. He will one day paint the perfect pizza.
  • 1740 - Worldwide squirrel defenestration conspiracy forms.
  • 18-nought-Five AD - Battle of Trafalgar. French/Spanish/Dutch PWND by Nelson.
  • 1989 - The gateway to Hell opened up for the eleventh time since Britney Spears got out, but it was only to let Mr. Flufferkins go tinkle. Mr. Rogers' neighborhood never recovered.
  • 1992 - Rachael Ray's chicken gains intelligent life
  • 1997 - Frogger crossed the road for the very first time
  • 1998 - The $5 bill was invented
  • 2007 - Buster Keaton is slowly forgotten once again.
  • 2008 - Klingon made the official language of the United States.
  • 2009 - You read this.
  • 2015 - Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown arrive to Hill Valley from the year 1985.
  • 2024 - A fly travels to Nova Scotia to drink some sodas.
  • 1986 - KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Featured picture

Ctfo

Ben & Jerry's introduces a new flavor, designed to help you relax.

Image Credit: RadicalX
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel | Dudley | Availability | UnDebate:Should women rap? | Banh Shop | Worst bumper stickers | Firesheep | Lava lamp | Ebola | Brick (rw) | Chess | Food (rw) | Please unblock me | My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection | Elizabeth Warren | Essex | Caliphate | Office etiquette (rw) | Barcelona | Antigonish, N.S. | Navelism | Cutter® (rw) | Rutherford B. Hayes | Netflix | Pink slime | Battle of Bosworth | The 100 | Twelve Tables | Jam session


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 30,723 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.


Ninjastar

Featured

Potatohead aqua Featured Article Featured version: {{{date}}}
This article has been featured on the front page. — Where's the front page? This is the front page? That doesn't make sense.
You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Personal tools
projects