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Did you know...

*...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
  • ...that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
  • ...that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?

In the news

On this day...

OverThere

Look mom!! Look!! Look!!

August 21: International "Look over there!" Day

  • 4002 BCE - Adam and Eve become aware of their nakedness; Eve asks Adam why he is staring at her breasts. Adam shouts "Look over there!" and runs away, thus inventing The Oldest Trick in the Book.
  • 3998 BCE - Adam tells Eve her shoelaces are untied and flicks her in the nose, thus inventing The Second-Oldest Trick in the Book.
  • 27 - Jesus says he sees a giant killer land shark, uses the distraction to grab many loaves and fishes from his wagon.
  • 1458 - A small child in London shouts "Look, a duck!" whilst pointing in the air to buy himself enough time to rob the city while the population is staring pointlessly at the sky.
  • 1831 - While picking cotton, Nat Turner shouts "Look at all those aboltionists!" and runs away, successfully escaping slavery.
  • 1832 - Nat Turner hanged.
  • 1911 - Louvre employee remarks "My stars, what is that," steals Mona Lisa.
  • 1940 - Leon Trotsky is killed with a pickaxe in Mexico. His last name reminds me of a horse.
  • 1959 - President Dwight D. Eisenhower exclaims "That woman is topless!", signs Hawaii into statehood while everyone is distracted.
  • 1967 - Carrie-Anne Moss distracts mother long enough to escape from uterus.
  • 1976 - Korean War: Operation Paul Bunyan takes place. An American invasion force is distracted when North Koreans yell "Look at that giant tree," causing angry Marines to forget their mission and focus on chopping it down.
  • 1995 - Monica Lewinsky screams "Oh no, a vast right-wing conspiracy," fellates Bill Clinton while he's looking around exclaiming "Where? Where?"
  • 2003 - Edna Turnington of Gloucestershire purchases seven pounds of ground beef.
  • 2010 - HOLY CRAP THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER ON THE WALL BEHIND YOU!
  • 2011 - US government tells citizens, "Look over there at all those bad people in the Middle East!" While the population looks on to see what happens, their income tax is raised to 99%.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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