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Did you know...

*...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ...that when it says 'Do not try at home', it actually means 'Do not try this at all'?
  • ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ...that when it says 'Do not try at home', it actually means 'Do not try this at all'?
  • ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
  • ...that when it says 'Do not try at home', it actually means 'Do not try this at all'?
  • ...that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?

In the news

On this day...

Pantsonhead

May 26: Wear Pants On Your Head Day

  • 1907 - Vauxhall Bridge is opened in Beijing.
  • 1958 - Yamahachi "Iron Chef Iron Shavings" Tsuharo is born in Cape Town, South Africa.
  • 1963 - Unicorns are discovered in Portugal.
  • 1963 - Unicorns are extinct in Portugal.
  • 1973 - "Let's not celebrate this day" festival is celebrated for the first and last time.
  • 1979 - The Afro haircut becomes compulsory in the 48 contiguous states. (Alaska follows suit in 1983.)
  • 1980 - Spain Declares war on Pope "Eggs benedict IV" for previous remarks
  • 1981 - Boy George is proclaimed Queen of England.
  • 1982 - Boy George is deposed in violent uprising of bagpipe makers.
  • 1985 - Peter Pan spins in his grave as Michael Jackson's Neverland is built.
  • 1999 - The Y2K Bug dies squashed under a rock.
  • 2002 - Mars Odyssey ship finds signs of rocks on the planet Mars.
  • 2003 - First Masked Avenger found drunk lying in a puddle with dead hooker in lap. Law suits ensue and first official 'Sue a Super' day commences.
  • 2004 - The Vienna Boys Choir release a choral version of "Whip It !" that ranks #22 on the Billboard.
  • 2011 - Somebody uses the word 'bacon' in a sentence.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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