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Today's Featured Article - Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining)
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining) refers to a "re-imagined" universe that debuted in 2003 and was based on the 1990s television franchise of the same name. While sharing the same name and general premise of the original program, the new Mystery Science Theater 3000 aims for a more "realistic" depiction of humans trapped in space and forced to watch bad movies. The new Mystery Science Theater 3000 is grounded in current events, and several episodes have made allusions (both subtle and explicit) to real-life issues, including depression, suicidal thoughts and the whole Tyler Perry enterprise.
Each episode begins with the following crawl:
- The Satellite of Love was created by man
- It was shot into space by mad scientists
- They send it cheesy movies
- And they have a plan
A janitor, a temp worker and an engineer -- each with a dark, terrifying secret -- wake up one morning within a spaceship. Before they can react, they are shot into space and placed in geosynchronous orbit over the South Atlantic. After reaching maximum altitude, the three -- referred to as "Robinson," "Servo" and "Gypsy" --receive a message from a mysterious corporation called "Gizmonics," telling them they have been brought together for an "experiment", and instructing them to enter a nearby movie theater. (more...)
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- 14 BC - Leeroy Jenkins declares "At least I still have chicken."
- 2000 BC - Moses opens first Piggly Wiggly with the goal of "Bringin' Chitterlings to all my Peeps!"
- 402 BC - The towel is invented, to protect oneself from the great LUEshi rampage.
- 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain.
- 1840 - Oscar Wilde kills Lord Byron in what was billed as the Spat in the Flat.
- 1852 - The knowledge of towel making is mysteriously lost. Pandemonium ensues for the next three decades.
- 1895 - Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. He comments: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine", a line later shamelessly plagarized by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- 1936 - Hitler starts the Funky Panzer dance craze, which begins to take Europe by storm.
- 1942 - Helen G. White announces that the end of the world was posponed once again due to rain.
- 1955 - Hyenas take over french government.
- 1977 - God creates Funk.
- 1978 - And He saw it was goooooood.
- 1980 - Towels are rediscovered.
- 1982 - Pac Man fever kills 20 million americans in just a few weeks.
- 1987 - Marijuana becomes the most cultivated plant ever, displacing the potatoe from top one for a few weeks.
- 1993 - AB Logic are found guilty of crimes against music and are condemned to death by choking on artichokes
- 2001.5 - International "Hug a Goombie" Day founded
- 2002 - Mutant Goombie Children are found in a puddle. Government and other such officials blamed.
- 2003 - First smart move made ever by a Government, Governments everywhere are officially disbanded.
- 2007 - Jerry Springer attacked by Trailer Park Midgets.
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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.
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