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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!
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MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95
Today's Featured Article - Constitution of the United States (actual text)
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Section I. Any male constituent who has attained the Age of Twenty-One years shall vote for a nobleman of his choosing to represent him in the executive legislature. He shall freely cast his choice on a ballot in a designated voting bureau and deposit the ballot in a box. After all the constituents accomplished their duty of Citizenry, the box contents shall be dumped in the nearest river and the predetermined winner be announced to the People.
Section II. Any elected representative in the Land of the Free shall receive 10 slaves Free of charge, only shipping and handling to pay and shall be refunded if not satisfied before 30 days.(more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article - Power
Power . A word that is doubtless familiar to you and a concept you probably think you understand but yet, how much do we you really know about power?
That's correct, bodiless, unexplained, yet helpful italicised text! We know next to nothing about power which, in its majesty is in all things, if you can comprehend such a concept. It could even be within you! You could have power right now and be unaware of the staggering implications of that fact.
I could have power?
Quite possibly, I can usually tell very quickly whether or not somebody has power. I have power and as a result I feel a certain kinship towards others with power.
I'd love to hear more about power!
Of course you would! (more...)
Tell me how good my website is.
edit Facts about me
- ...that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have?
- ...and that every person considers it at least once a month?
- ...that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
edit History Channel
January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day
- 1313 - The Pope and King Charlemagne lead the first celebration of this holiday.
- 1776 - Thomas Jefferson, suffering from writers' block, brings his pet negro Toby to work. Jeffy wakes up later in the day from a nap to discover that Toby had finished writing the remaining 96% of the Declaration of Independence. Jeffy promptly whipped Toby and submitted the Declaration to the Continental Congress the next day.
- 1933 - Adolf Hitler wows to destroy all Jews when his pet Jew sleeps with his girlfriend. Makes Stalin his new pet.
- 1945 - President Harry Truman let his komodo dragon press the big red button, authorizing the use of nookz.
- 1947 - Mahatma Gandhi takes his pet rhinoceros to a rally. Scares the British into leaving India.
- 1959 - Keith Olbermann is born in New York. The hospital staff let a doctor's pet Gila monster deliver Olbermann, only to have the animal kidnap Olbermann and raise him for the next 18 years.
- 1984 - Winston Smith brings his parrot to work, only to have it arrested by the Thought Police for thoughtcrime.
- 1995 - Osama bin Laden trains his pet Orangutan to use AK47s and RPGs. Becomes mascot for terrorists all over the world.
- 2005 - Amir Khan brings his pet Shahrukh Khan to his film shoot. Says it is his lucky charm.
- 2010 - Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger die on the same day. They have a long-winded conversation about literature outside the Pearly Gates, boring and annoying everyone else in line.
- 2010 - Amitabh Bachchan brings Aishwarya Rai on a leash, marries her off to his son.
- 2011 - Aishwarya Rai bears a child, put on leash too.
edit Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator
- Oh God it's snowing hard (pictured)
- We are still Charlie
edit Other cool sites
Relationships (images) | Hydrocarbon | Supply-side Jesus | Randy Travis | Wind (rw) | Charlie Hebdo | Christchurch (Dorset) | Invasive species (rw) | Horace Greeley | The Jackson 5 | The Cosby Show | Ido | Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley | Sens. Warren/Ayotte/Brown/McConnell | Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel
David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.
You can talk to me on AOL chat.
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