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Today's Featured Article - Georges Danton
Georges Jacques Danton (26 October 1759 – 5 April 1794) was a leader of the French Revolution who was even uglier than the actor who once played him in a French movie. Danton today is seen as a 'hero' of France. Streets and battleships are named after this Jacobin responsible for the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Even guard dogs carry the name of the man who helped to define France's big leap from monarchy into anarchy. (more...)
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December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland), National Public Pooping Day (Denmark)
- 1865 - The USA ends slavery; immediately outsources slave labour to china at $0.06/hr and mexico at a variable rate.
- 1901 - Chicago woman gives birth to Walt Disney, who immediately sues her for copyright infringement.
- 1910 - The puzzle potato was nearly shoplifted by Winona Ryder from Lester B. Pearson's flaxen wool-works store. The event was made into hit a movie starring Gary Coleman as Winona Ryder.
- 1967 - The word "pwned" finally reaches its expiration date, according to the recently-unearthed original packaging.
- 1968 - Despite that, nobody stops using the word.
- 1969 - Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to play Calvinball on the Moon, outsmarting opponent and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin by chanting an immunity poem (see:One Small Step) and planting his flag, automatically earning himself 144 Elephant gnuts and claiming the Rank of "Duke of Ham Sandwich". Some debate the legality of this play, questioning whether Armstrong was wearing his black mask under his space helmet, but Armstrong has silenced most of their criticisms through clever use of "Jinx!"
- 1975 - William Herbert explains Reimann symmetry in a quasi-formatic manifold to sea lions at a Dutch park.
- 1979 - The United Kingdom realizes Donkey Kong as a threat.
- 1982 - A law is passed in Botswana that not only legalizes but encourages the use of the bong.
- 1984 - A Botswanian man mixes a dangerous cocktail of toxic waste, Windex, triple-ply toilet paper and Leprechaun s'mores in his bong. The resulting smokes endow the man with the power to light his middle finger ablaze when using it for insult. In response, local Botswanians are quoted as saying, "Hmm."
- 2310 - Sea Lions begin developing Science Labs to discuss the great science God William Herbert
edit Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator
- Farage defects to US (pictured)
- USA: Trump 306, Clinton 232
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David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.
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