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Today's Featured Article - Arthur C. Clarke
Arthur Charles Clarke (16 December 1917 – 19 March 2008) is a world-famous fortune teller who lived much of his life far away from everything (that is, in Sri Lanka) so he could write outlandish science fiction novels. Born in Minehead, England, he grew up daydreaming and doing nothing, which naturally led him to a high-ranking position in the Royal Air Force. After singlehandedly winning World War II using radars and articles about satellites, he embarked on a writing career. Despite getting help from Stanley Kubrick, Isaac Asimov, and various weird aliens, his literary wit was limited to "Woohoo! Spaceships! Aliens! Spaceships and aliens! In space!!" He became famous in latter life as the author of three versions of essentially the same book, and as a guy who looked dreamy-eyed into a camera whilst talking about unexplained phenomena.
Clarke made a large number of claims, which some have linked to his rampant self-absorption. In 1942, he successfully claimed to have invented the typewriter and underwear, whilst less than a year later he claimed water was based on one of his earlier ideas. Among his future predictions was a colony on the moon, a space elevator, a utopian society on Earth and widespread space travel. Have those things happened yet? Well, I'm sure the eggheads are working on it... While we're waiting, we can read some nice science fiction about it.
Clarke is the author of numerous science fiction novels, such as Childhood's Beginning, Fountains of Wank, and his groundbreaking novel Rendezvous Without Rama. Because of a massive writer's block, many of his writings were short stories - his best known short story is If I Forget Thee, Oh Earth, about a rather serious case of amnesia. (more...)
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- ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
- ...that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
edit History Channel
- 1769 - Ozzy Osbourne bourne.
- 1873 - 1337, 7h3 wr0ng 5p3111ng, app3ar5.
- 1895 - Wyoming and Collorado jion together as one state.
- 1904 - Art Deco is born in Grand Rapids, Michigan to Dick and Deena Deco.
- 1919 - Wurst fowl-up of pealed bore eight buy sum-won who's grandma wee warship like yawl due ware yew mite in whales.
- 1933 - Hiter beeganz kanzer warr.
- 1936 - Grey becoumes everyoune's favourite colour
- 1976 - Vetanam conkered bye Amerikan Arme.
- 2000 - Some adventurous Uncyclopedian makes a 'Selected Anniversaries' entry which is grammatically perfect, using proper English and without spelling mistakes; his reasoning being that just because something is not true, it does not mean that it has to be nonsensical.
- 2004 - Mexican becomes official language of California.
- 2006 - So I herd u liek Mudkip.
- 2007 - Amerikass fayveryte brekfirst beecums "Scramah egg, baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy"
- 2008 - Chiknees peple dye becuz of ratz yer.
edit Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator
- John Bolton doesn't get it, again (pictured)
edit Other cool sites
Mika | Victory lap (pictured) | Rogue One (needs pix) | Kraftwerk (r/w) | Gamergate controversy | Amarillo TX | Full Metal Jacket (r/w) | Liberal media (repl) | Peter Singer | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) | The Rock-afire Explosion | Pat Buchanan | Radiohead | Trump Tower | Arthur C. Clarke (r/w) | Revolutionary Girl Utena | Neu! | Rick Perry | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w) | Dwayne Johnson (r/w)
David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.
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