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Today's Featured Article -
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Yesterday's Featured Article - Howard the Duck (film)
Howard the Duck is a 1986 American crime thriller directed by Hans and Fritz Katzenjammer, with special effects by George Lucas. It is studied in most film schools as a textbook case of how not to make a movie, unless one's goal is to bleed out an eight-figure budget as quickly as possible. Howard the Duck was released to a traumatized audience and critical scorn, but later found a cult following among human rights activists, who regarded it as a crime against humanity. The film has also been cited as the inspiration for a growing interest in roasted duck for dinner.
The movie opens on Duckworld, a senselessly expensive special-effect scene whose most special effect is to reduce the believability of everything that follows. Howard the Duck (Mel Blanc) is spending an ordinary day in his mid-town apartment, trying to complete a crossword with his flippers. He should know that any such day in the movies means one's life is about to be up-ended, whether by a fateful letter from the IRS or a baby left on the doorstep. Sure enough, just after realizing that the noise from the kitchen means that lunch has boiled over and is seeking the gap in the linoleum to be the downstairs neighbor's problem too, Howard gets up out of his easy-chair — and is inexplicably transported to downtown New York City.It is the Gangland Era, 1935. Howard finds himself eluding police after holding up a jeweler’s store. As he goes through the jewels he stole, he accidentally runs into Phil Blumburtt (Tim Robbins), the leader of the Dark Overlord Mob. The two find that they have a lot in common, apart from growing up on different planets. Howard joins the Mob, where he discovers that they are blackmailing bombshell race-car driver Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson) to steal from her. A love-smitten Howard gives up hopes of returning to Duckworld, as Earth women seem to be much easier.(more...)
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edit Facts about me
- ...that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
- ...that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
edit History Channel
- 14 BC - Leeroy Jenkins declares "At least I still have chicken."
- 2000 BC - Moses opens first Piggly Wiggly with the goal of "Bringin' Chitterlings to all my Peeps!"
- 402 BC - The towel is invented, to protect oneself from the great LUEshi rampage.
- 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia.
- 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain.
- 1840 - Oscar Wilde kills Lord Byron in what was billed as the Spat in the Flat.
- 1852 - The knowledge of towel making is mysteriously lost. Pandemonium ensues for the next three decades.
- 1895 - Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. He comments: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine", a line later shamelessly plagarized by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- 1936 - Hitler starts the Funky Panzer dance craze, which begins to take Europe by storm.
- 1942 - Helen G. White announces that the end of the world was posponed once again due to rain.
- 1955 - Hyenas take over french government.
- 1977 - God creates Funk.
- 1978 - And He saw it was goooooood.
- 1980 - Towels are rediscovered.
- 1982 - Pac Man fever kills 20 million americans in just a few weeks.
- 1987 - Marijuana becomes the most cultivated plant ever, displacing the potatoe from top one for a few weeks.
- 1993 - AB Logic are found guilty of crimes against music and are condemned to death by choking on artichokes
- 2001.5 - International "Hug a Goombie" Day founded
- 2002 - Mutant Goombie Children are found in a puddle. Government and other such officials blamed.
- 2003 - First smart move made ever by a Government, Governments everywhere are officially disbanded.
- 2007 - Jerry Springer attacked by Trailer Park Midgets.
edit Articles from today's Daily Hostage Negotiator
- North Korea to dominate world with tourism (pictured)
- Fake Affordable Care meets fake repeal
edit Other cool sites
Walt Disney (r/w) | Soylent (meal replacement) | Costa Coffee | John Brown (r/w; pictured) | Napoleon II | Emmanuel Macron | Scientist (r/w) | Space Harrier | Horatio Nelson | Caffè Nero | Washington University in St. Louis | World Mission Society Church of God | Morris County | Dominica | Monty Python | Hoboken NJ | Women's suffrage in the United Kingdom | Smörgåsbord | Quantum tunneling | Mika | Victory lap | Rogue One | Kraftwerk (r/w) | Gamergate controversy | Amarillo TX | Full Metal Jacket (r/w) | Peter Singer | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps
David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.
If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.
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