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<MARQUEE BEHAVIOR=SLIDE>Befor u check out my kewl homepage you might wanna read about me or look at photos from my sweet 16 b-day celebration.
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Mchammer

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BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!! MY WEBPAGE HAS BEEN REDESIGNED!!!!!

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MADE WITH FRONT PAGE 95

Now with twice the features!!Edit

Today's Featured Article - Gul Dukat

Dukat

Gul Dukat is a wise Cardassian statesman and cuddly little genocidal maniac from the TV series's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Keeping Up with the Cardassians, and Gul Dukat Takes Miami. He is widely regarded as being the nicest character in TV history, but is constantly suffering from abuse by the other characters.

Before the beginning of the show, I, Dukat served as the prefect of the planet Bajor, which was under Cardassian occupation protection because they were really weak, primitive and pathetic and didn't know how to take care of themselves. They needed Dukat, to govern and defend them and he was there to help. Unfortunately, at this time, Bajor was threatened by evil terrorists who wanted to overthrow the legitimate government of Bajor, expel their Cardassian protectors, and establish a planet-wide theocracy.

Now, Dukat tried to be as kind as possible towards the Bajoran people, going out of my his way many times to hand out stuffed animals and apple juice. But the Bajorans complained that these had been produced in Bajoran work camps which for some reason upset them. Whatever, more Teddies for me. These happy work camps were created by the Cardassians to help train the primitive Bajorians in more modern ways of manufacturing (and to partially off-set the cost of protecting Bajor). (more...)

Recently featured: Gul Dukat

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Facts about meEdit

  • ... that staring into a mirror and saying "Bloody Mary" three times will get you one if you are standing in a pub or bar?
  • ...that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?


History ChannelEdit


Abe

June 17: Presidential Mullet Day, Bill Clinton Sex Definition Day

  • c.7000 BCE - First Intel PC domesticated.
  • 1707 - The Knig of Svïden celebrates his 25th birthday by hosting an 80s party. The music of Sir Henry Purcell hits the charts in Svïden, but Bach and Händel have no old music to rip off. Vivaldi expresses his hope that the Knig could hurry up and die.
  • 1878 - Mount Everest is built by Nepal to encourage tourism growth and annoy Tibet.
  • 1885 - The Statue of Liberty arrives in New York Harbor and agrees to stand the test of time.
  • 1969 - Godzilla defeats his Chinese nemesis, Maozilla.
  • 1970 - A child is born. Well done, you! And without a physician or midwife? Clever Dick!
  • 1972 - Christmas is ruined forever.
  • 1980 - For three minutes, regicide is all the rage.
  • 1982 - Star Wars Episode VII: The Phantom Boner hits retail stores as a straight-to-video release.
  • 1992 - Lieutenant Planet is promoted to Captain Planet.
  • 1993 - George Bush first discovers about world suffering. Also realizes the world doesn't revolve around him, everything revolves around the Earth.
  • 1994 - Homer "O.J." Simpson is chased down and arrested on suspicion of murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ned Flanders.
  • 1994 - Judge Lance Ito becomes the most famous human being ever.
  • 1995 - Activists raid a waffle breeding facility and manage to set thousands of waffles bred in captivity free. Using waffles for clothing and drug paraphernalia will be banned in 1999.
  • 2001 - Millions agree that Special K ain't that special after all.
  • 2002 - Billions wonder what happened to the Regular K.
  • 2003 - Trillions get together on the interwebs and invent Super K.
  • 2004 - Willie Nelson finally gives up on the Rubik's cube.

Photos from my 14th birthday

Articles from today's Daily Hostage NegotiatorEdit


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Their website (Its really good but not as good as mine)

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Evil laboratory | CSS | HowTo:Properly open a door (pictured) | Hatsune Miku | John Muir | Elon Musk | 10th century | Mel Gibson | Justa Grata Honoria | Ultimate Yahtzee (r/w) | Yahtzee (r/w) | HMHS Britannic | Mark Zuckerberg | Violet Jessop | Meghan Markle | James Comey | Rasberry Crazy Ant |





English paper

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Proofreading

I stubbed my toe and it hurts

Sometimes my mom takes Prozac and tries to kill herself



Note to self: remember to put toilet seat down

Seriously id really appreaciate if you wrote my english paper

Wotm

David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System.


Spywareviagraspam

Noobaward

If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs.


Congratulations to Rcmurphy, our Uncyclopedian of the Year!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006


WEBRING

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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,989 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
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