n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:
Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall
from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more.
However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the
Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows:(continued...)
1914: Archduke Franz Ferdinand, his wife, and his moustache are shot and killed while travelling to market in an open buggy, triggering World War I.
1942: Promptly Shoot Everyone Day receives a tremendous boost with the opening of the Treblinka Concentration Camp. Up to 6 million take part
1963: Lee Harvey Oswald(pictured) is assassinated in the Texas Book Depository in Dallas. His alleged assassin is promptly shot, creating a firestorm of controversy and insane conspiracy theories printed on poorly xeroxed fliers.
1965: Malcolm X gives a speech in New York City, decrying the racist motivations behind Promptly Shoot Everyone Day. He is promptly shot and replaced by Malcolm XI.
1973: Bob Marley promptly shoots the sheriff, but he swears he didn't shoot the deputy, or at least he did not shoot the deputy in a prompt and timely manner.
1986: Britain's Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson at Westminster Abbey in London. He then promptly shoots her in the face.
Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*. Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree
The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.