Babel:666

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the encyclopedia from hell that anyone can worship.
There are currently 31,304 souls in our warehouse.

Book of Occult · The Big Sixes · Horns of Pan · Kill Todd Lyons · Kroni · Greed

Murder · Damned Souls · Angra Mainyu

Today's featured satanist

FancyI

n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:

Dear Reader, Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more. However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)

Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy

Did you kill...

  • ...Elvis?
  • ...JFK?
  • ...Jesus?
  • ...some Zombies?
  • ...Oscar Wilde?
  • ...Chuck Norris?

In the pit

On this day...

February 5: Peyton Manning does everything including playing in the Super Bowl Day
  • 1678 - Roman king farted on trees.
  • 406 - Peyton Manning sacked by the Central Asian Huns in Super Bowl -MDLXI... wait, that was the Romans... my bad.
  • 1066 - Peyton Manning, king of Normandy, conquers England.
  • 1152 - Peyton Manning almost makes it to Super Bowl -DCCCXV but he loses the AFC Championship after getting sacked five times by the Frankfurt Galaxy's linebacker Frederick Barbarossa.
  • 1215 - Peyton Manning thinks up concept of Magna Carta.
  • 1492 - Peyton Manning sails the ocean blue.
  • 1588 - Peyton Manning defeats the Spanish Armada.
  • 1688 - Peyton Manning takes power in England after the Glorious Revolution. Indianapolis Colts QB William of Orange offers to trade jobs with him. Peyton accepts.
  • 1776 - Peyton Manning leads the Continental Army across the Delaware River in an assault on Trenton, NJ.
  • 1777 - Peyton Manning's child is born to his female slave Sally Hemmings.
  • 1788 - Peyton Manning secretly ghostwrites one of the Federalist Papers. Sadly, he forgot which one.
  • 1813 - Peyton Manning exiled to Elba.
  • 1860 - Peyton Manning signs the Emancipation Proclimation before Ol' Abe does.
  • 1995 - Peyton Manning is forced to freshman practice squad after younger brother Eli Manning punches him in the crotch for stealing the last Fruit-by-the-foot.
  • 1996 - Peyton Manning studies for sociology quiz.
  • 1998 - Peyton Manning goes snorkeling in the Bahamas.
  • 2000 - Peyton Manning numb from another disapointing season, helps express his grim emotions by co-fouding the band Hawthorn Hights.
  • 2001 - Peyton Manning chats with Saudi leader concluding in "Hey, have you ever tried a flight simulator, real-stuff??".
  • 2003 - Peyton Manning plays Bocce with Marvin Harrison.
  • 2006 - Peyton Manning sits on couch with a brewskie, watches repeats of Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV and tries to figure out how Beth got to be captain.
  • 2006 - Peyton Manning Is revealed to be Superman
  • 2007 - Peyton Manning Timetravels.
  • 2007 - Peyton Manning comes out as a nazi and eats Polish Sausage with his defeated team.
  • 2008 - Peyton Manning holds Climate Change meeting with The Grinch.
  • 2019 - Peyton Manning, in a confused spasm of rage, accidentally misprints the date of the year while filing his taxes and is whisked away to the year 2019. He is saddened to learn that he will only play in the Super Bowl once in his lifetime. Peyton also surprised to find out he only lives to the age of 42.

Today's featured picture

Zombieche

Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
Dungeon - Democracy sucks

Portals to hell

SlovakiaUSA.jpg

Slovakia (pictured) | Nudibranch | Hera | George Mason U. | HowTo:Survive a terrorist attack | Pornography (rw) | Mesopotamia (rw) | Kilogram | Missing socks | The Communist Manifesto | Community | Teen Titans Go! | State of the Union address (rw) | Catching Fire | National Fascist Party (from Inciclopedia) | Chris Christie | HowTo:Dine at a fancy restaurant | Eragon | Swearing (rw) | Miranda warning | Sam Harris | Northumberland | Edmund Hillary | Theater pest | Mad Max: Fury Road | Carly Fiorina | Normal distribution | Slavs | Tax (rw) | Sega CD (rw)


More portals to hell | Most wanted brains | Requested assisinations | Make a stub | Orphans | Soul Review | Try sacrificing a...

Satanist and Imp of the Month

Wotm

Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree


Noobaward

The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.


Vote for Satanist of the Month | Vote for Imp of the Month | Vote for Occultist of the Month | Past Winners: 0/1

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