n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:
Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall
from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more.
However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the
Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows:(continued...)
1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's amazing!
1901 - President Teddy Roosevelt mounts his wife: BULLY!
1922 - Warren G. Harding's popularity at an all time high! New York Times: "Harding is the Best President Ever!"
1928 - Canadian dollar tops U.S. Dollar in World Markets!
1935 - Champaign Toasts and Caviar Dreams great newborn Robin Leach!
1944 - Concentration Camp deaths in Poland reach a new zenith! Hitler asks, Who knew Jews could be so results oriented?
1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever.
- The worst day in the history of the universe, so much so that no one mentioned it and so we no longer know when it was. But we do know that it was some time between 1965 and 1988.
1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting!
1988 - A group of the world most talented musicians come together to write the greatest song in the history of the world. It has a sound so astonishingly incredible and so incredibly beautiful that people come from all over the world just to hear it played at its one and only live performance at the grandest stadium in the world, the Metrodome.
1990 - Oprah is so hungry she could eat a horse. Twice!
2006 - Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy spewed out sperm so high it touched the stars.
2007 - The best night I've ever had. Ever!
2011- I just had sex. And it felt so good. Ya know a woman let me put my penis inside her. Say goodbye to cats !
2016 - You became a 1337 haxor for 5 seconds before going back to being a n00b.
Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*. Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree
The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.