Babel:666

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Today's featured satanist

FancyI

n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:

Dear Reader, Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more. However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)

Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy

Did you kill...

  • ...Elvis?
  • ...JFK?
  • ...Jesus?
  • ...some Zombies?
  • ...Oscar Wilde?
  • ...Chuck Norris?

In the pit

On this day...

1cheneypirate

September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day

  • The Beginning - The Great FSM creates all that is, including his chosen people, the Pirates. According to Foodism, Chuck Norris fought with Super Fertile Man, the man with ifinite balls and Chuck Norris's only true rival, both martialy and in bed. the massive amounts of cum sprayed to try to destroy each other and the masive amount of energy from the orgasms combine to create the universe. The first beings to come from the new universe's giant vagina, impregnated by her fathers, are the gods. This is in the R rated version of Foodism, not the one commonly whorshiped. for the record, i am the founder of foodism. if you wish to discuss it, don't contact me at all. you may not make an article about foodiam, only i can. you can convert to foodim and be baptised in a giant pool of food and drink, and sacrifice your first born child to the food gods (do not take this part seriously).
  • 1588 The Dread Pirate Wesley single handedly defeated the entire Spanish Armada in single combat.
  • 1778 - The Continental Congress passes the first budget of the United States, budgeting 10,000 doubloons for defense, 5000 pieces of eight for social programs, and additional booty to highways.
  • 1796 - George Washington makes his farewell address, saying "Aye me mateys, it were good being captain of this fine ship of state."
  • 1957 - First U.S. underground nuclear bomb test is conducted, shivering timbers as far as 500 km. away.
  • 1959 - After Nikita Khrushchev is barred from visiting Disneyland, he threatens to "keel haul" a man dressed in a Goofy suit.
  • 1970- Pirates the world over rejoice at Oldsmobile's launch of the Cutlass Supreme!
  • 1982 - Feared corsair Patch-Eyed Pete posts first recorded instance of an emoticon, P-) to an online bulletin board.
  • 1985- First pirate movie released. It is rated ARRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
  • 1989- Pirate Radio goes on the air and is fined for gratuitous use of the words "scalliwag" and "booty."
  • 1995 - First Talk Like a Pirate Day. It rapidly replaces Talk Like a Ninja Day, which involved people saying nothing so as to conceal their presence.
  • 2006 - with the War on Terror becoming increasingly bogged down in Iraq and Afghanistan, President Bush considers shifting focus to a War on Pirates.
  • 2006- Patch-Eyed Pete is fined $100,000 for using a pirated emotiocon in 1982.
  • 2008- Due to the unpopularity of his administration, George W. Bush is forced to "walk the plank." The outraged Right Wing Naval Forces (RWNF)stage an attack on the District of Columbia from their base in Wasila, Alaska, resulting in the Battle of Stupid Pirate Catchphrases

Today's featured picture

Zombieche

Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
Dungeon - Democracy sucks

Portals to hell

Chess | Food (rw) | Please unblock me | My Yu-Gi-Oh! collection | Elizabeth Warren | Essex | Caliphate | Office etiquette (rw) | Barcelona | Antigonish, N.S. | Navelism | Cutter® (rw) | Rutherford B. Hayes | Netflix | Pink slime | Battle of Bosworth | The 100 | Twelve Tables | Jam session | New Jersey | Keynesianism (rw) | George R. R. Martin | Wat Tyler | Father Ted | Andorra | Town meeting | Mylène Farmer | Eclipse (rw) | Fringe | Millard Fillmore | Garter | Jared Leto (rw)


More portals to hell | Most wanted brains | Requested assisinations | Make a stub | Orphans | Soul Review | Try sacrificing a...

Satanist and Imp of the Month

Wotm

Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree


Noobaward

The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.


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