Babel:2007

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Yesterday's Featured Article - Howard the Duck (film)

Howard the Duck (1986)

Howard the Duck is a 1986 American crime thriller directed by Hans and Fritz Katzenjammer, with special effects by George Lucas. It is studied in most film schools as a textbook case of how not to make a movie, unless one's goal is to bleed out an eight-figure budget as quickly as possible. Howard the Duck was released to a traumatized audience and critical scorn, but later found a cult following among human rights activists, who regarded it as a crime against humanity. The film has also been cited as the inspiration for a growing interest in roasted duck for dinner.

The movie opens on Duckworld, a senselessly expensive special-effect scene whose most special effect is to reduce the believability of everything that follows. Howard the Duck (Mel Blanc) is spending an ordinary day in his mid-town apartment, trying to complete a crossword with his flippers. He should know that any such day in the movies means one's life is about to be up-ended, whether by a fateful letter from the IRS or a baby left on the doorstep. Sure enough, just after realizing that the noise from the kitchen means that lunch has boiled over and is seeking the gap in the linoleum to be the downstairs neighbor's problem too, Howard gets up out of his easy-chair — and is inexplicably transported to downtown New York City.

It is the Gangland Era, 1935. Howard finds himself eluding police after holding up a jeweler’s store. As he goes through the jewels he stole, he accidentally runs into Phil Blumburtt (Tim Robbins), the leader of the Dark Overlord Mob. The two find that they have a lot in common, apart from growing up on different planets. Howard joins the Mob, where he discovers that they are blackmailing bombshell race-car driver Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson) to steal from her. A love-smitten Howard gives up hopes of returning to Duckworld, as Earth women seem to be much easier.(more...)

Did you know...

*...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
  • ...that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
  • ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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