Babel:2006

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Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration.

The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure.

Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat.

Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death.

Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born.

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Selected anniversaries

November 24: Pete Best's Birthday (US, UK)

Sgt best
  • 1601 - Pilgrims celebrate the first Thanksgiving. Pete Best wonders why there is no Thanksgiving in the UK until he realizes that The English have nothing to give thanks for.
  • 1859 - The great prophet Charles Darwin publishes his manifesto The Origin of Species, predicting the eventual birth of Pete Best.
  • 1941 - Pete Best is kicked out of mother's womb.
  • 1946 - Teacher sends note home to Best's parents, complaining about his sullenness and unwillingness to play bass with other children.
  • 1951 - Mother auditions George Best as possible replacement in the family.
  • 1955 - Learns to play drums. Snares, bass and drumsticks go off and socialize with one another, leaving Best out.
  • 1960 - Makes trip to Germany; greeted with cries of "Rammstein forever, Pete Best never!"
  • 1961 - Plays with Tony Sheridan; burns Virginia with Phil Sheridan.
  • 1962 - The Beatles record demo version of "Love Me Do;" original chorus of "We hate our fucking drummer" goes unnoticed.
  • 1962 - George Harrison stares icily at Best during a performance; Paul McCartney kicks his drum set during rehearsal; John Lennon hires Brian Epstein solely to fire Best.
  • 1962 - George Martin brings Ringo Starr in to shout incoherently over Best's drum parts; later uses it as an excuse to fire Best.
  • 1962 - Best kicked out of the Beatles.
  • 1963 - Best kicked out of house;
  • 1964 - Best kicked out of England; Elizabeth II says her kingdom "wants to go in a new direction."
  • 1968 - Best briefly kicked back into Beatles when Ringo leaves during White Album sessions; quits when he realizes he'll lose his job a second time to a guy named "Ringo."
  • 1970 - John, Paul, George and Ringo join Best in the "Ex-Beatles" group.
  • 1971 - Alice Cooper jumps from a plane and disappears, after collecting a ransom which includes US$200,000 and a Pete Best box set.
  • 1980 - Best kicks it old school.
  • 1984 - Fozzie Bear tragically dies of a heart-attack.
  • 1991 - Seven years after the song was released, Freddie Mercury breaks free and moves to the Moon.
  • 1993 - David Dickinson makes headline news after cutting off negotiations to be in the Doom video game.
  • 1995 - Release of Beatles Anthology allows new generation of fans to kick Pete Best around.
  • 2000 - Pete Best briefly dies for 4 minutes before coming to life thanks to magic.
  • 2012 - Best celebrates 50th anniversary of Love Me Do release.

Archived Anniversaries </div>

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GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

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