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Heinrich Himmler in his Gothic Lolita uniform. Vote for featured image

Today's featured article Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration. The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure. Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat. Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death. Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born. Read more... Recently featured: Nike Revolution of 2006 - Alternative Medicine - The artist formerly known as God - I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle - The Night After Christmas - North Korea - John Seigenthaler Sr. You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day 12,000 BC - Og the caveman wears a Ramones t-shirt despite having never heard them, making him the world's first poser. 10,000 BC - Blue eyed bitch is saved by mastodons and or mammoths really who cares it was a terrible movie. oh yeah , there was a sabertooth tiger!!!!1 274 BC - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin. 137 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, That's My Arc, officially cancelled. Riots ensue. 1514 - Fred Astaire announces, "Jesus is a foo'." Angry fans eat records and quickly find that vinyl is addictive. 1676 - The Simpsons stops being funny. 1851 - Oscar Wilde appears on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. 1851 - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Is cancelled. 1967 - A giant rat gives birth to Michael Bolton. 1934 - Ban on oak, termites allergic. 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Foos Babaganoush finally finds Stalin's cheese grater. 2001 - Snoop Doggy Dog is misteriously murded by one of his bitches. "Faw Shizzle" ~ Replies Rapper R Kelly 2005 - AOL frisbees become popular 2006 - 400th birthday of the pevlic thrust! Show us how it's done! 2007 - non huffable kitten the movie:god attacks! is released 2008 - Due to the hatrid of people who watch Grey's Anatomy Insted of The Office and Scrubs, James Madison kills every person who watches that show. 2010 - The Cleavland Show is a huge success and Family Guy is canceled. 2010 - Dr Cow is feted for surviving 50 years 2014 - Tom Cruz loses all hope of being a legendary hero and returns to his home world. 2035 - TV show Lost renewed again. Critics complain about the lack of new content. The critics' critics complain about the same thing. 24 follows suit. 2460 - Axe deodorant officially banned from the United States. The first good decision ever made by a president. 2660 - Pedo Bear gives birth to M.i.L.F Bear Archived Anniversaries </div>	Today's word of the day is retro Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit In the news Fried chicken, watermelon and menthol cigarettes! Oh my! Obama ducks more IRS fallout Shark flying at Cape Cod (pictured) Free, single and plenty of fish to choose from Zimbabwe presidential elections features a hair metal candidate Baseballer says his piece and puts everyone on high alert Anorexic cheerleader scandal Trusted news service hacked ( listen) Reese Witherspoon very confused Norway returns to darkness Kim il-Thatch dead and not loving it Dead rapper does an Elvis in the Middle East Gangster's uzi kills gangster's wife More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ...that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? Do you care... ...that under Communism, everyone gets an C? Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Uncyclopedia's sista projects Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects. 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