The imperialist ambitions of the United Kingdom used to be expressed through colonisation of half of the known world and a complete exploitation of everything it had and it did not have to offer. Nowadays, this behaviour being virtually impossible due to the pressure from the part of the UN and NATO, the British decided to conquer the world of sports. Unfortunately, their plans are usually ruined by different countries, depending on what discipline Britain tries to compete in. In cricket the country is beaten by South Africa, in soccer by Italy and in ice hockey by most of the known countries, whether Northern or Southern. Such losses on multiple fronts have urged England to create several entirely new sports disciplines, which only the British would know how to compete at, notably "unsuccessful ski jumping".
Unsuccessful ski jumping is roughly the same as the usual ski jumping with the only difference being the fact that British ski jumpers have, since the dawn of sports, been trained to fail. (more...)
Yesterday's Featured Article -
DID Y0U KN0W...
- ...that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (pictured)
- ...that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
- ...that although the effects of alternative medicine are difficult to separate from a placebo, dumb hippies are easy to separate from their money?
- ...that the butler did it?
- ...that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
- ...that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ...that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
- ...that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
- ...that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?