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Today's Featured Article - Trump Tower

Trump Tower 3

The Trump Tower is the Manhattan headquarters of the Trump Organization and home of U.S. President-elect Donald Trump, who lives with wife Melanoma in the penthouse bachelor pad. Though only the 64th tallest building in New York City, it is far better than all the others, so much better, you're going to see just how much better. It essentially is taller than all the rest. (more...)

Recently featured: Trump Tower

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Lava lamp, featured on 16 January 2015. See the featured version.
Constitution of the United Kingdom, featured on 16 January 2014. See the featured version.
Mutaween, featured on 16 January 2013. See the featured version.
UnBooks:A Pragmatic Affair, featured on 16 January 2012. See the featured version.

DID Y0U KN0W...

Superorgasm
  • ...that your little sister is bluffing only 38% of the time? (pictured)
  • ... that it has been proven beyond reasonable doubt that the reason for 50% of modern marriages ending in divorce is because those people try to go to IKEA together for a relaxing afternoon?
  • ...that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
  • ...that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man?
    • ...that withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
      • ...that the reason the government does not ban it is because of the tax money it gets from the food industry?
  • ...that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ...that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?

IN 7H3 N3W5

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

January 16: Anniversary of the Bowel movement
Hitlerwatermelon

Adolf Hitler doing something naughty. Probably.

  • 9 - Something happened to some guy somewhere out there in the world
  • 1264 - For the first time in human history, a man was born twice
  • 1356 - Some dude got all medieval on some other dude
  • 1930 - Mickey Mouse loses his license to Steamboat Willie after being caught transporting 11 illegal immigrants up the Timeless River. Walt Disney distraught.
  • 1942 - Odds are, Hitler did something bad on this date in 1942
  • 1987 - Something performed by guys with poofy hair and makeup on was the number one song inAmerica
  • 1990 - You suddenly realize time didn't stop, but knew that time stopped.
  • 1991 - Yak does something which was supposed to be done in the future, begats Wikipedia. Nobody cares.
  • 2000 - Something.com receives one million hits.
  • 2007 - Yak returns and travels back in time to yesterday, begats Wikipedia. Nobody still cares
  • 2007 - Dark Portal opens. World of Warcraft fans shit themselves.

70D4Y'5 F347UR3D PIC7UR3

Acme anvil testing

The American military routinely uses the elderly for weapons testing, as a way to control population growth and keep the price of prunes low.

Image Credit: Original concept: MoneySign. Current version: Bizzeebeever
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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GoofySinger.jpg

Peter Singer (pictured) | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) | The Rock-afire Explosion | Pat Buchanan | Radiohead | Trump Tower | Arthur C. Clarke (r/w) | Revolutionary Girl Utena | Neu! | Rick Perry | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w) | Dwayne Johnson (r/w) | Jimmy Neutron (r/w) | Coin (r/w) | Vegan food | Count Dooku (r/w) | HowTo:Help the Green Party | Impressionism | Millennials | Georges Danton


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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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