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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Millennials

Yesterday's Featured Article - Millennials

Millennialhipsters

Millennials (formerly christened Generation Y) are the generational cohort born roughly between the birth of AIDS and the Spice Girls (or 9/11 if you go by fatter definitions), who are or aren't the spawn of Baby boomers and older Gen Xers, did or didn't experience the "Nuthin' Nineties", did or didn't survive the Iraq War, do or don't vape, and are forever caught in an emotional quadrangle of economic despair, constant putdowns from their elders, crippling student loan debts, and shell-shock caused by the prospect that they will have to work until the day they drop dead.

Millennials appeared at just the right time to witness the economic and political golden age of the 1990s, but were not quite old enough to enjoy the rave scene — unfortunately, the rug was yanked out from them all too soon, as the excessive abuse of avocado toast and the economy (often simultaneously) presented their bill. Despite being in their 20s and 30s, many still only make minimum wage, reside with their parents, and rarely reproduce — although sleeping in their childhood bedroom, with its Thomas the Tank Engine wallpaper and a Star Wars-themed single bed, is as big a passion killer as regular visits from "mummy", just in case either partner had become "hungry" in the last seven minutes.(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured HowTo:Choose your car insurance, featured on 17 August 2013. See the featured version.

DID Y0U KN0W...

Topless woman 11111
  • ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (pictured)
  • ... Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
  • ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
  • ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
  • ... that Kanye persuaded Kim Kardashian to make Mastercard famous?

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August 17: A Dingo Ate My Baby Day (Australia).
Jacksonbabyoutback

Michael Jackson celebrates Dingo Ate My Baby Day

  • 5000 BCE - The first dingo arrives in Australia. Says dingo: "Man, I'm hungry. Could sure go for something chewy and defenseless."
  • 3020 BCE - Dingoes successfully mate with wallabies. The dallawingoby young, a wingodollajoeyhopper, is found to be delicious when barbecued, insuring quick extinction.
  • 1776 - Thomas Jefferson releases happiness at 11 AM.
  • 1777 - Thomas Jefferson releases packs of dingoes into the Virginia wilderness. These same dingoes are later credited for the elimination of the Roanoke Settlement.
  • 1918 - Bolshevik revolutionary leader Moisei Uritsky is assassinated. Dingoes are suspected.
  • 1980 - "Ah Dingo Ate Moy Baybee!" The woman is fined A$500 for maligning dingoes and will be sentenced to being the butt of a Seinfeld joke.
  • 1984 - Happiness is prohibited by the ISoPT.
  • 1986 - A pack of rabid dingoes invade and devour the city of Sydney.
  • 1988 - Pakistani President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq and US Ambassador Arnold Raphel are killed in a plane crash. And then eaten by dingoes.
  • 1988 - The legendary Alex Cross is born in Redhill, Surrey, UK. He then roundhouse-kicks a dingo in the face when it tries to eat him.
  • 1997 - Rabid packs of dingoes win parliamentary seats in Australian run-off elections.
  • 2004 - Alex Cross beats Chuck Norris in a fight, but Chuck Norris, with his last ounce of strength, roundhouse-kicks himself back in time to avoid being in a fight with someone far superior. Dingoes watch and learn.
  • 2006 - President George W. Bush is confused on why an Oz farmer would name his dog "Dingo". Puppetmaster Cheney tries to explain, but then gets fed up and shoots a friend in the face.
  • 2009 - Mount Everest a splode.

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Potatochopcs

Adobe Potatochop is the industry standard software for chip production amongst chip shops the length and breadth of England. Available with a number of plugins, including the most recent 'extra crispy' update, it is, along with Adobe Suppersready one of Adobe's most well known pieces of software.

Image Credit: Mhaille
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Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
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