Baba O'Riley

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The Who 2014

O'Riley (left, or right) performing "live" at Manchester Arena.

“Don't cry, don't raise your eye, it's only teenage wasteland”
~ Pete Townshend on lives wasted due to the drug "epidemic."

Baba O'Riley is a teenager rarely referred to by his real name, Baba O'Really. Along with tens of millions of others O'Riley attended the music festival at Woodstock, New York — the one romanticized about by Millennials who have just found a great new band called Led Zeppelin. Research suggests that everyone of these revelers also witnessed The Beatles' final performance at Shea Stadium, The Sex Pistols at the 100 Club, Lionel Richie's Figaro at La Scala, as well as making up part of the audience for Jesus' 33 AD Comeback Special.

However, O'Riley himself did not trouble the attention of the world until he looked around a wet field in upstate Nu Yawk and reportedly shouted out "We're all wasted" in disillusionment. Careful analysis of surviving audio-tapes suggest his actual words were "We've all wasted our cash" - a comment thought to have been inspired by the imminent performance of Jefferson Davis. The final few syllables were lost due to Keith Moon's detonation of several tons of stage pyrotechnics and the shout "We're all wasted" was echoed by Pete Townshend on arriving at the Middle Eight. Interestingly, Townshend, later claimed to have shouted "We all wasted our chance" referring to his assault on political activist, Abbie Hoffman, who Townshend had hit over the head with his Fender but had failed to properly eviscerate due to the need to play the final chords of "Boris the Spider".

As the audience rushed away before Grace Slick could begin yodeling, wiser bodies took O'Riley aside to privately counsel him that flagrant overdosing on drugs was the entire point of the event.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Baba O'Riley.

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