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[[Image:Bbc 50.JPG|thumb|right|225px|The ''British Broadcasting Corporation'': The [[Global Village|World's]] finest socialized media company outsourced to the United Kingdom and the world. Jolly good stuff.]]
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[[Image:evilqueenelizabeth.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''This old Prune controls each and every Brit on the face of the Earth.''']]
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The '''British Broadcasting Corporation''' ('''BBC''', ''Beeb'' or ''Auntie'')<ref>Also known as the '''Be-[[Politically correct|PC]]'''</ref> is the world famous "''[[Labour Party|Left wing]]''" broadcasting company for [[London]] and the surrounding satellite colonies of the [[British Empire]]. The BBC was founded in 1925 as a continuation of [[Stalin|Josef Stalin's]] [[Radio|radio stations]] in [[Russia]] and to provide [[propaganda]] for [[British]] markets. Initially [[radio]] was the main medium and the BBC fought the rise of [[television]] by arguing that it was impossible to see "''around corners''". However in 1930 the periscope was invented and the BBC was forced to accept television and [[Nudity|mild nudity]] such as bare arms, ankles, and (on incredibly risky shows) the odd knee.
 
   
Currently the BBC is the only [[communist]] [[Media|broadcaster]] left running in the [[world]] outside of [[North Korea|Asia]] and [[Russia]]. The Quango<!--Quango is an abbreviation, so it should have a capital.--> has flatly refused the [[Capitalism|free market]], and vows to continue its core [[Communism|communist leanings]] that it has valiantly upheld since its conception in 1922. To this day the company is still wholly independent of advertisers and commercialism.{{Cn}}
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"''A Brit is full of shit''"-'''Captain Obvious''' on [[Brits]]
   
==Binding the Nation==
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"''Great Britain is a barmy backwater whorehouse and its folk are queer gits.Wait.....I'm a Brit?!''"-'''Oscar Wilde''' '''to Captain Obvious'''
[[Image:UKworld.png|right|thumb|225px|The BBC [[Propaganda|World Service]] promised a whole new sphere of cultural imperialism for the [[British Empire]].]]
 
It was the intimidating [[Scotland|Scottish]] Presbyterian John Reith who founded the BBC in 1920 and he became the first "''Lord Director General of the BBC''." Reith, of course, was under the thumb of [[Josef Stalin|Stalin]] and the British upper classes. Their hope was to provide the [[James Bond|British intelligence service]] and the KGB a reasonable worldwide business front to hide their operations, as well as to provide quality [[Socialist]] [[propaganda]] for the [[British]] public. The cooperation was also founded to provide a "''World Service''"<ref>World [[Propaganda]].</ref> for the [[The Color Problem|Fuzzy's]] as they were still at an inadequate level of submission to the [[British Empire]].
 
   
John Reith was the architect of the BBC's values, and his dour unpleasant presence is present today. He famously said of the BBC's purpose that,
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"''God shave the Queen!''"-'''Sean Connery''' on the Queen's biocuriosity
   
:<Blockquote>"''The BBC's chief reason for being is to keep the working classes docile and compliant to the upper classes...''"</Blockquote>
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"''Oi!Bugger off,bruv....bloody mental dingbat!''" '''[[Gandhi]]''' to any random Brit
   
The workers at the BBC were held under the brutal [[HowTo:Become a Dictator|despotism]] of Reith, whose extreme [[Left|leftist]] views derided the moral of the staff and persecuted any individuality they dared show. New employees at the BBC were also warned when they applied that should they ever stray from [[Marriage|wedlock]] or [[Gay|heterosexuality]] then their ties with the organization would be [[Witch|burned]]. As may be expected, Reith ended up becoming something of a [[Tyrant|one man band]] outside of his "''charming''" assistant [[Mary Whitehouse]].
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"''Spare me,milord!I'm just a queer Cornishman with a lousy Cockney accent....I ain't a real Brit!!!''"-'''Romartus the Impersonator''' on being cornered by '''The Brit-Slayer'''
   
With a [[World War 2|World War]] in the offing, the BBC found itself generally favourable to [[Hitler]]. Reportedly Reith often commented that "''A man has a home to keep''" however with the change in government in 1938,<ref>[[Russia]] under despot [[Josef Stalin]] became a valuable ally to Britain.</ref> he was forced to resign under [[Politics|governmental pressure]]. This turn over fundamentally altered the tone and style of the BBC throughout its [[Radio]] broadcasts to its listings publication, the "''Radio Times''". From then on the BBC became absorbed with the pursuit of ratings rather than "Binding the Nation".
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"''Let's make love,Monsieur''"-'''Napoleon''' to '''Winston Churchill'''
   
==Radio==
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"''Y-Y-o-ou wi-i-il p-pay fo-o-r t-th-i-is t-t-tra-rav-e-e-st-y!!!''"-'''King George VI''' to '''Chuck Norris''' on getting a wedgie
{{Wikipediapar|BBC|The British Broadcasting Corporation}}
 
Initially in 1925 the BBC was primarily a [[Propaganda|propaganda]] institution through the medium of [[radio]]. The crystal sets were cheap and easily bought by lonely people with nothing better to do; this went down especially well in [[Wales]] where a [[Sheep shagging|sheep famine]] was well underway. Under the [[Jingo|colonial power]] of [[Britain]] sets were also shipped to [[India]] and to the brave souls in [[China]].
 
   
The first shows [[Social Commentary|discussed]] the [[weather]] which of course would be [[Daily Mail|raining]] or [[The Sun (comic)|sunny]] depending on the weather above Television Central. "''Roof Forecasting''" as it is known has continued today, however a volunteer system for [[HowTo:Get Downs Syndrome|Downs’s patients]] has been adopted in recent times. These "''accurate forecasts''" are used in the [[Radio|world service]], unfortunately due to the [[British]] climate many listeners in [[Iraq|sunnier climates]] have learned to question the viability of BBC reports.
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"''HaaaaalelujAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!''"-'''Mr.Bean''' on encountering an [[alien]]
   
In the [[1960s]], the era of BBC radio was threatened by the kingdom of [[Luxembourg]] and [[Pirate radio|private owners]] of commercial stations. To combat the [[capitalists]], the BBC heavily [[Radio 1|"''sexed up''"]] its output by playing the music of the very latest beat combos. The competition was also offered a cut in the [[TV License|license money]].<ref>A cut from the [[TV License|license fee]] was sufficient to bribe the [[Pirate radio|pirate’s]] offshore.</ref> However over time, output gradually seemed ever more dictated by short novel [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_Dogs "''The Siege of Trenchers Farm''"]. This is particularly noticeable in the less than wholesome animal sex drama, [[The Archers]].
 
   
==Radio Times==
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[[Image:Kimonodragon.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''Dragons in English Mythology''']]
[[Image:BBCNews24.jpg|right|thumb|225px|[[BBC News]] is world famous for its quality journalism and groundbreaking coverage.]]
 
It has become "''De Rigueur''" for all the British to purchase a Radio Times during ones morning "''constipational''". The ''Radio Times'' was initially part of a pamphlet released with "''Beehive''" a [[Karl Marx|Marxist]] [[Big Brother|propaganda paper]]. However the Radio Times broke off and became part of the BBC in 1940. To this day, the Radio Times is sustained by [[TV License|license fee]] as no one wishes to purchase the archaic publication.
 
   
The Radio Times has continued to the present day in its original format with dodgy [[Communism|left wing]] reviews and unnavigable listings for BBC programming. However unlike the rest of the BBC and mostly the useful [[Internet|"''Interweb service''"]], the Radio Times accepts advertisements. The proceeds are used to make up the deficit for hiring Celebrities and ''[[The Guardian|Guardianista meetings]]'' for the Islington elite.
 
   
==Television==
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== Entertainment In England ==
[[Television]] was a difficulty for the BBC, they could not use the invention without a periscope due to fact that "''Moving Pictures''" cannot travel around the obstacles viewers experienced whilst performing the [[Kamasutra|"''Lotus''"]]. However in 1950 the periscope was finally invented and early broadcasts were aired across the nation. Viewers were delighted by the [[British class system|snootiness]] of the broadcasts and the [[Porn|soft porn]] documentaries the BBC would become [[famous]] for, though the entire library from this time period would eventually be be taped over.
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[[Image:Gay Film.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''A classic English film......a spiffing masterpiece,indeed''']]
   
Many report this as the golden age for the BBC, with patronizing programming for the [[British class system|working class]]. The upper classes however felt discriminated against by the lack of [[tits]] and overly [[Boring|formal programming]]. This complaint proved to be the catalyst for the formation of [[ITV]], Britian's first commercial station. ITV adopted the commercialism of [[America|American Media]] and took adverts and phone in [[Scam|scams]]. Many have commented that you can't tell the difference between the advertisements or the programming that delivers viewers to them. This has led to yet more channels being created, offering different angles and coverage of the same [[Tits|thing]].
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The very first English film ever was "Shitty Shitty Bang Bang"-a documentary of an Unidentified Flying Object powered on and fueled by human faeces,which was why Brits abducted humans in the first place-TO HARVEST THEIR CRAP.
   
ITV also brought the grotesqueries of [[ITV|Chris Tarrant]] to the nation. This was just what the upper class wanted, [[I'm an Ascended Master.....Get Me OUT of Here!|brain softening drivel]] and the BBC was forced by [[Margaret Thatcher|Government]] to up the [[TV License|license fee]] and make subsidiary '[[Selective Inbreeding|dim' channels]]' to compete with the commercial stations.
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The blockbuster film "Reign of fire" tells the heroic tale of a brave ragtag bunch of Canadians in a futuristic post-apocalyptic world ruled by Brits and their mutant dragons who tried to survive but ended up getting murked.
   
== Kikes, Dykes and Dolls ==
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"Horrid Henry" is apparently the only children's show that those darn pedophile Englishmen can come up with.
[[File:MurdochBBC.jpg|thumb|right|225px|The 2010 election has allowed [[Rupert Murdoch]] to pitch his "''Kuala Humping Flag''" on the BBC. This charming Conservative Party poster makes clear the new pact between the recently 'New Labour' Murdoch and the Conservatives.]]
 
Currently the BBC has gone back to commercial broadcasting strategies; providing [[Children|sultry ladies]] for [[Jimmy Savile|upper class male audiences]]. Recently Fiona "''hot totty''" Bruce was hired in 2004 to provide the kind of sex appeal the BBC had lacked and is now the flagship personality of the new BBC. This has gone down well particularly in recent times with programming becoming ever more dependent on [[Antiques Road Rage Show|Michel Aspel]]. There can be no more sexual a sight than watching Fiona taunting the audience with her "''news slot''".
 
   
New hiring criteria was also introduced for potential employees and in order to get a [[Employment|job]] for the BBC you must now be in one of the following minorities A. [[HowTo:Learn Hebrew|''Jewish'']] B. [[Gay|''Gay'']] or C. [[Norweigan chicks|''A Woman'']]. It is preferably a combination of all three that is the company’s aim. Other fairly recent developments include new channels such as the smash hit BBC Three, a channel dedicated to the happenings of [[London|cockney]] [[shemale]] Sienna Miller. Of course there’s also BBC Four, its primary concern is the thoughts and views of [[Bitch|sapphic feminist]] media whore, [[Germaine Greer]].<ref>Germaine's 'slot' was shifted ever later in the schedule to accommodate the working hours of [[pervert]] night-shift security guards.</ref>
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The United Kingdom film industry’s pathetic attempt at producing horror films has been chronicled throughout the millenia.Ranging from gaylien vampire crap like Lifeforce to zombie flops like 28 days later , 28 weeks later,28 years later,28 centuries later,28 millenia later(with real cyborg zombies) and the ever-popular “Shaun of the dead”.Not to mention a bloody mental biography of a G(r)ay alien called "Paul",where they try to mislead humans by depicting their ruthless alien ancestor as a benign gray-skinned star-traveller with a lame Cockney accent. A film called ”Attack the block” is also a must-see for all of you who know that Brits aren’t of this realm and may summon demons from the cosmos merely to make Beckham shit his pants when he's being being butt-raped by Gerard.
   
Overall these recent changes have been declared a triumph by the [[Jew Claw|BBC Trust]]. Apparently these new channels fulfil every aspect of the aims and purpose of the BBC such as entertaining people and providing [[Tits|titillation]] for a [[UnCameron|Tory audience]]. A review of the BBC's charter in 2005 has found a [[Yes, Administrator|clear argument]] for keeping the [[TV License|license fee]] as it is a great way for recovering back all the [[money]] that [[Work|dole rats]] claim whilst watching BBC daytime, although the possibility of more [[Hot Chick|soft porn]] and mind numbing drivel was recommended.
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Are we alone in this Universe....?The answer’s no and the Brits are living proof of it.....Recent evidence has proven that the Greek Geek from Ancient Aliens is actually just a British immigrant with a fake & gay hairdo.
   
==Footnotes==
 
<small><references /></small>
 
   
==See also==
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'''I WANT TO BELIEVE'''
* The [[Labour Party|British Labour Party]]
 
   
{{Britain}}
 
   
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== Racial Features ==
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[[Image:Im so british.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''"Look at moy,oym from Boyminnum!"''']]
   
[[Category:BBC| ]]
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The Good People of Britian have numerous genetic deformities such as overlong drooping faces,high cheekbones,hooked beak-like noses,uni-brows,copious growths of hair at the sides of their faces and yeah, NO NECKS.This had been the subject of much intellectual debate among scholars over the decades until it was revealed that these were merely the side-effects of their nation-wide inbreeding program.
[[Category:Television in the United Kingdom]]
 
[[Category:British radio]]
 
[[Category:BBC radio]]
 
[[Category:PLS Entry Summer 2008]]
 
   
[[es:BBC]]
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Chavs are a more tough,violent and overall rather formidable new breed of Brits who love "murking" people and using vulgar Brit-slang,created by forcing humans to mate with Brits.....the resultant hybrids are stronger,smarter,faster and possess cutthroat street-survival skills normal Brits could only dream of.These abilities have an uncanny resemblance to the Uruk-Hai in "The Lord of the Rings",who are human-orc hybrids and ten times as badass as run-of-the-mill orcs.
[[he:BBC]]
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[[ja:英国放送協会]]
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One would wonder why "refined" folk such as Brits would engage in such morally degrading and cheap sexual activities,but the answer's really a no-brainer.....The Queen of England,having Insectoid as well as Reptilian DNA characteristics,can reproduce sexually as well as asexually and give birth to thousands of cloned Brits whom she stores in the termite-like ovary sac above her fat,wrinked royal bottom(OMFG,why didn't I say "butt"? (0_O) Am I becoming a Brit after they abducted me that night and injected me with their hybrid DNA?!?!?!)and extracts them using her 2 metre long royal probe.Each and every Brit in existence is the offspring of the Queen,telepathically linked to her hive mind and subservient to her will,which connects them all together as a collective consciousness to carry out her orders without question.
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== Cuisine ==
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[[Image:Crop Circle Alien.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''"Rather self-explanatory,'innit mate?"''']]
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England's culinary delights are hopelessly bland in taste as well as aroma to anyone except Brits themselves,on account of them having thrice as many taste receptors as humans in those cum-holes that pass for their mouths,which also explains why all Englishmen have strange tastes.Such food items include Alligaytor stew,peanis soup,boiled broccolli,pot-belly roast,charred overcooked steak,Birmingham buns,haggis,escargot,etc.Brits are also rather fond of American Pie and have an insatiable craving for Whorecestershire sauce.
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The staple diet of the people of England is [[Grue]] sperm,traditionally known as gruel and forever immortalized in Charles Dick-kens' famous play Oliver Twist.Despite being a mouth-watering exotic delicacy,it is recommended for its high nutritional value.
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Beverages exclusive to England include Butterbeer,Firewhisky,Hog's mead,Hop-Scotch,Dale ale,Fag-gin,rum,cum and stale putrid golden piss.
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== Culture ==
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[[Image:I do.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''Don't let the gay hairdo fool you.He's an Englishman,through-and-through''']]
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England has a {{C|queer}} free society where Brits of all three sexes may intermingle and procreate.Awkwardness and overall geekiness are admirable traits in any self-respecting Englishman.Being highly Democratic in contrast to the Republic of Ireland,England's social norms and cultural etiquette put a great deal of stress and sexual frustration on its people,which eventually leads to mid-life crisis,homicidal tendencies,coming out of the closet and so on.Irish custom demands sexual intercourse with sheep,and Scotsmen go to bed with cattle or horses,but Brits butt-rape PIGS.Gay marriage is strongly encouraged and immensely popular(Unless you're a Prime Minister)among hormonal teens and 56-year olds,but lesbians are burned at stake.....a custom which made England infamous throughout the Medieval Dark Ages.To this day,[[masturbation]] in England is considered a criminal offence punishable by death.Or worse,castration.This is England,mate.Love it or Leave it.
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== Religion ==
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[[Image:Greyalien1.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''The Messiah of England''']]
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A trait unique to all Englishmen is their piety.Nobody's atheist-that's the beauty of England.All Brits believe in some form of higher power,unlike those sheep-raping Irish heathens.The percentages of worshipers are as listed below:
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32% Brits are devout followers of Hinduism and are Spiritual Sex-Slaves of the one and only Mahatma Gandhi.Through him,they aspire to attain the ultimate level of enlightenment and sexual salvation by castrating themselves to expiate all desires of the mortal flesh.Little do they know that Gandhi is none other than the reincarnation of Gollum......
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15% Brits worship Satan and other dark powers.These Brits appear normal and even more polite than usual Brits,always good-natured smiling chaps,but you'll soon notice odd stuff like manicured lawns in the shape of the Pentagram and an Oujja board along with their Lego and Scrabble.
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21% Brits worship their namesake Britney Spears and masturbate ritualistically while listening to her pathetic rhapsody"I think I did it again".
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16% Brits worship Ayumi Hamasaki,the Divine Goddess of Yaoi.These Brits are outcasts even among their own countrymen,as they speak [[''Engrish'']] and are hardcore [[weeaboos]].What sets Wapanese Brits apart from their own brethren and even their Asian counterparts,the Japs,is undoubtedry the fact that they robe to make anime caricatures of ariens,not to mention arien manga,arien XXX [[hentai]] and extraterrestriar cospray.That and the fact that being Engrishmen,they arways make comprete asshores of themserves when they attempt to pronounce Japanese phrases in Engrish and use a British accent at the same time.Brimey,humans raugh at them and carr them herr-spawns due to their berief that they hab no sour......so utterry hirarious,fam.It's broddy mentar,bruv!Konnichiwa,do you fancy some Rondon Sushi,brud?
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49% Brits engage in rigorous alien worship , where they create their own crop-circles in open fields and light bonfires while screaming for their creators,the G(r)ay aliens, to return.Brits who pray to extraterrestrial beings for deliverance are classified into two main religious sects:-
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The Raelist Catholic Church,who firmly believe that all Gods are Aliens but not all Aliens are Gods.
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The Raelist Protestant Church,who firmly believe that all Aliens are Gods,but not all Gods are Aliens.
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Other minority Raelist cults include the Raelist Orthodox,Raelist Dominican,Raelist Republic,Raelist Communists and Raelist Marxists,who are baptized through the holy communion of alien buttsex.The Pope of Is'''rael''' has been known to excommunicate any infidel who commits blasphemy by denying the existence of extraterrestrial life.However,Brits answer only to the Spiritual Leader of England,the mysterious entity known only as Reverend PP.Penisfeather.Many a valiant English knight has sought out the Holy Grael in an intergalactic quest that ultimately claimed his life.
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Thanks to Raelism,Brits have begun to clone themselves using alien biogenetics and it's only a matter of time before they overrun and take over our planet by sheer strength in numbers!!!
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25% Brits worship overrated footballers who are no different from those WWE "Superstars" and shamelessly strip on the football stands during their goal-induced orgasms.These desperate Brits are willing to sell their souls in exchange for the opportunity to get an autograph from these footballers,as well as polish their balls with their tongues.Prominent and revered football deities include David Beckham,Steven Gerrard,Christino Ronaldildo,Lionel Messi and Zinedine Zidane(yeah,that's right).
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18% Brits worship Dalai Lama,famed and renowned throughout the Universe for being the founder of the Adult Film Industry. Need I go into the specifics?
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What?!The total percentage adds up to more than a hundred?
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Well,that's not hard to explain.The fact of the matter is,even as you're reading this,more Brits are being spawned through genetic cloning and Inbreeding.Why,even before you could say "Tinder and Flint" , there are precisely 666 more Brits being extracted from the DNA Cloning chambers,ready to make this world a worse place to live in.
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== Hauntings In England ==
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[[Image:Phantom Manor Paris.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''Now that's what I'm talkin' about''']]
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England is undisputedly the most haunted country on Earth.....ever wondered how or why England is so famous for paranormal hot spots?
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Brits,being neither human nor quite alien,but instead a bizarre misbegotten hybrid of both,have a supernatural dilemna after they die.Unlike Japs,Brits DO have a soul,well,if you could call it that anyway.So then,where do these mutant aberrations go after they die???NOWHERE-They never leave this plane to begin with!Neither Heaven nor Hell wants them because they weren't meant to be...and they just don't fit in anywhere.Thus,Brits are condemned to an existence of eternal Purgaytory after they die and are compelled to co-exist with the living while having a swell time haunting the crap of foreign kids and tourists who have a thing for creepy old gothic mansions.It is widely believed that the deceased far outnumber the living in England,aye,and with good reason too.
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== World Domination Campaign ==
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[[Image:Gamethronesbean01.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''"One does not simply march into London....."''']]
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As you all know,the Black Death ravaged across Europe in the Middle Ages,killing millions.The Bubonic plague,as it was officially known,was the result of direct contact with escaped lab rats who had been used as test subjects and injected with a genetically-engineered alien virus,created for the sole purpose of leaving human civilization crippled.Unlike Japs,Brits are rather easy to kill,partly because they don't have the ability to spontaneously regenerate lost limbs and shoot telekinetic laser beams from their eyes.The problem with Brits is.....they don't STAY dead.They either return from the grave with a vengeance to haunt the living,or they become Revenants.When Merlin got his depraved hands on the Necronomicon,he used its power to raise a vast undead legion of Englishmen,against whom no mortal army could ever hope to prevail.He even went on to summon a host of netherworldly monsters,the likes of which would make you shit your pants in bed and snuggle up to your mom,while you're sleeping with her.Undead orcs,undead trolls,undead Vikings,undead Indians,undead ninjas,undead Injas and other nightmarish creatures of the night.Eternal destruction was nigh for mankind.....but fate had other plans,for on that day Ash came to the rescue with an unstoppable army of Pocket Monsters who gave Merlin's army an ass-whuppin' and sent them crawling back to their holes.And on that day,all was well and mankind prevailed,all thanks to those little Poke-Porn stars.....
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"''GOTTA FUCK 'EM ALL,POKE-PORN !!!''"
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[[Image:Iguana 2.jpg|thumb|right|250px|'''Pokemon HATE Brits.''']]
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The Brits' most recent but failed attempt at world domination was hiring a whore named J.K Rowling to pervert the minds of children with her novels of Harry Potty and his escapades in Hogfarts School of Bitchcraft and Faggotry.It was a global mind-control tactic that made kids turn on their elders(kinda like "Children of the Corn",only this was all about porn instead).It was a nefarious scheme aimed to systematically divide and conquer mankind by brainwashing kids and convincing them that all Englishmen were of pure blood and lineage and that everyone else was a "Mudblood" or Mugger or whatever and that it was their sacred duty to slaughter them through genocide.If the Brits had their way,all the children would have butchered their own parents and then turned on each other,finally killing each other off and leaving Earth in the hands of the Brits.....However,when Dumbledore was finally revealed to be a fairy and the movies ended despite attempts to prolong them by making the last one a two-part film,the Harry Potty craze ended and all the children turned on the Brits instead,demanding more!A plan that completely backfired and yet another failed attempt at taking over Earth!Suck on that,Brits.
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And what of the Original Brit???That SOB who started it all?!
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Being the first of his kind,he bears the blessing/curse of immortality.It is rumored that the only weapon that can do him any harm is the fabled sword Excalibur,forged in the fires of Mordor and tempered in the sperm of a thousand trolls,aye,the very same legendary blade that was used to slay the Hydra,Leviathan,Bigfoot,Nessie,Snooki,The Big Show and so on.And as for his identity,he has used countless names over the ages,but you'll know him more popularly as Mr.Bean......
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Anyway, let me get to the point :
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I've been through dimensions and realms killing anything that seems even remotely English ( Better not try to act smart with your fucking English accent >:D ) and now I've set my sights on Earth.I'll slay any and every Englishman who crosses my path.That's just how I roll...or troll , whatever , WHO GIVES A FUCK ANYWAY?!
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'''''[[SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE MOTHERFUCKING BRITS A LESSON]]'''''
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There isn't a single Brit on the face of the Earth who can stand up to my might!!!!!!!

Revision as of 04:58, July 18, 2013

Evilqueenelizabeth

This old Prune controls each and every Brit on the face of the Earth.

"A Brit is full of shit"-Captain Obvious on Brits

"Great Britain is a barmy backwater whorehouse and its folk are queer gits.Wait.....I'm a Brit?!"-Oscar Wilde to Captain Obvious

"God shave the Queen!"-Sean Connery on the Queen's biocuriosity

"Oi!Bugger off,bruv....bloody mental dingbat!" Gandhi to any random Brit

"Spare me,milord!I'm just a queer Cornishman with a lousy Cockney accent....I ain't a real Brit!!!"-Romartus the Impersonator on being cornered by The Brit-Slayer

"Let's make love,Monsieur"-Napoleon to Winston Churchill

"Y-Y-o-ou wi-i-il p-pay fo-o-r t-th-i-is t-t-tra-rav-e-e-st-y!!!"-King George VI to Chuck Norris on getting a wedgie

"HaaaaalelujAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"-Mr.Bean on encountering an alien


Kimonodragon

Dragons in English Mythology


Entertainment In England

Gay Film

A classic English film......a spiffing masterpiece,indeed

The very first English film ever was "Shitty Shitty Bang Bang"-a documentary of an Unidentified Flying Object powered on and fueled by human faeces,which was why Brits abducted humans in the first place-TO HARVEST THEIR CRAP.

The blockbuster film "Reign of fire" tells the heroic tale of a brave ragtag bunch of Canadians in a futuristic post-apocalyptic world ruled by Brits and their mutant dragons who tried to survive but ended up getting murked.

"Horrid Henry" is apparently the only children's show that those darn pedophile Englishmen can come up with.

The United Kingdom film industry’s pathetic attempt at producing horror films has been chronicled throughout the millenia.Ranging from gaylien vampire crap like Lifeforce to zombie flops like 28 days later , 28 weeks later,28 years later,28 centuries later,28 millenia later(with real cyborg zombies) and the ever-popular “Shaun of the dead”.Not to mention a bloody mental biography of a G(r)ay alien called "Paul",where they try to mislead humans by depicting their ruthless alien ancestor as a benign gray-skinned star-traveller with a lame Cockney accent. A film called ”Attack the block” is also a must-see for all of you who know that Brits aren’t of this realm and may summon demons from the cosmos merely to make Beckham shit his pants when he's being being butt-raped by Gerard.

Are we alone in this Universe....?The answer’s no and the Brits are living proof of it.....Recent evidence has proven that the Greek Geek from Ancient Aliens is actually just a British immigrant with a fake & gay hairdo.


                                            I WANT TO BELIEVE


Racial Features

Im so british

"Look at moy,oym from Boyminnum!"

The Good People of Britian have numerous genetic deformities such as overlong drooping faces,high cheekbones,hooked beak-like noses,uni-brows,copious growths of hair at the sides of their faces and yeah, NO NECKS.This had been the subject of much intellectual debate among scholars over the decades until it was revealed that these were merely the side-effects of their nation-wide inbreeding program.

Chavs are a more tough,violent and overall rather formidable new breed of Brits who love "murking" people and using vulgar Brit-slang,created by forcing humans to mate with Brits.....the resultant hybrids are stronger,smarter,faster and possess cutthroat street-survival skills normal Brits could only dream of.These abilities have an uncanny resemblance to the Uruk-Hai in "The Lord of the Rings",who are human-orc hybrids and ten times as badass as run-of-the-mill orcs.

One would wonder why "refined" folk such as Brits would engage in such morally degrading and cheap sexual activities,but the answer's really a no-brainer.....The Queen of England,having Insectoid as well as Reptilian DNA characteristics,can reproduce sexually as well as asexually and give birth to thousands of cloned Brits whom she stores in the termite-like ovary sac above her fat,wrinked royal bottom(OMFG,why didn't I say "butt"? (0_O) Am I becoming a Brit after they abducted me that night and injected me with their hybrid DNA?!?!?!)and extracts them using her 2 metre long royal probe.Each and every Brit in existence is the offspring of the Queen,telepathically linked to her hive mind and subservient to her will,which connects them all together as a collective consciousness to carry out her orders without question.


Cuisine

Crop Circle Alien

"Rather self-explanatory,'innit mate?"

England's culinary delights are hopelessly bland in taste as well as aroma to anyone except Brits themselves,on account of them having thrice as many taste receptors as humans in those cum-holes that pass for their mouths,which also explains why all Englishmen have strange tastes.Such food items include Alligaytor stew,peanis soup,boiled broccolli,pot-belly roast,charred overcooked steak,Birmingham buns,haggis,escargot,etc.Brits are also rather fond of American Pie and have an insatiable craving for Whorecestershire sauce.

The staple diet of the people of England is Grue sperm,traditionally known as gruel and forever immortalized in Charles Dick-kens' famous play Oliver Twist.Despite being a mouth-watering exotic delicacy,it is recommended for its high nutritional value.

Beverages exclusive to England include Butterbeer,Firewhisky,Hog's mead,Hop-Scotch,Dale ale,Fag-gin,rum,cum and stale putrid golden piss.


Culture

I do

Don't let the gay hairdo fool you.He's an Englishman,through-and-through

England has a queer free society where Brits of all three sexes may intermingle and procreate.Awkwardness and overall geekiness are admirable traits in any self-respecting Englishman.Being highly Democratic in contrast to the Republic of Ireland,England's social norms and cultural etiquette put a great deal of stress and sexual frustration on its people,which eventually leads to mid-life crisis,homicidal tendencies,coming out of the closet and so on.Irish custom demands sexual intercourse with sheep,and Scotsmen go to bed with cattle or horses,but Brits butt-rape PIGS.Gay marriage is strongly encouraged and immensely popular(Unless you're a Prime Minister)among hormonal teens and 56-year olds,but lesbians are burned at stake.....a custom which made England infamous throughout the Medieval Dark Ages.To this day,masturbation in England is considered a criminal offence punishable by death.Or worse,castration.This is England,mate.Love it or Leave it.


Religion

Greyalien1

The Messiah of England

A trait unique to all Englishmen is their piety.Nobody's atheist-that's the beauty of England.All Brits believe in some form of higher power,unlike those sheep-raping Irish heathens.The percentages of worshipers are as listed below:


32% Brits are devout followers of Hinduism and are Spiritual Sex-Slaves of the one and only Mahatma Gandhi.Through him,they aspire to attain the ultimate level of enlightenment and sexual salvation by castrating themselves to expiate all desires of the mortal flesh.Little do they know that Gandhi is none other than the reincarnation of Gollum......


15% Brits worship Satan and other dark powers.These Brits appear normal and even more polite than usual Brits,always good-natured smiling chaps,but you'll soon notice odd stuff like manicured lawns in the shape of the Pentagram and an Oujja board along with their Lego and Scrabble.


21% Brits worship their namesake Britney Spears and masturbate ritualistically while listening to her pathetic rhapsody"I think I did it again".


16% Brits worship Ayumi Hamasaki,the Divine Goddess of Yaoi.These Brits are outcasts even among their own countrymen,as they speak ''Engrish'' and are hardcore weeaboos.What sets Wapanese Brits apart from their own brethren and even their Asian counterparts,the Japs,is undoubtedry the fact that they robe to make anime caricatures of ariens,not to mention arien manga,arien XXX hentai and extraterrestriar cospray.That and the fact that being Engrishmen,they arways make comprete asshores of themserves when they attempt to pronounce Japanese phrases in Engrish and use a British accent at the same time.Brimey,humans raugh at them and carr them herr-spawns due to their berief that they hab no sour......so utterry hirarious,fam.It's broddy mentar,bruv!Konnichiwa,do you fancy some Rondon Sushi,brud?


49% Brits engage in rigorous alien worship , where they create their own crop-circles in open fields and light bonfires while screaming for their creators,the G(r)ay aliens, to return.Brits who pray to extraterrestrial beings for deliverance are classified into two main religious sects:-

The Raelist Catholic Church,who firmly believe that all Gods are Aliens but not all Aliens are Gods.

The Raelist Protestant Church,who firmly believe that all Aliens are Gods,but not all Gods are Aliens.

Other minority Raelist cults include the Raelist Orthodox,Raelist Dominican,Raelist Republic,Raelist Communists and Raelist Marxists,who are baptized through the holy communion of alien buttsex.The Pope of Israel has been known to excommunicate any infidel who commits blasphemy by denying the existence of extraterrestrial life.However,Brits answer only to the Spiritual Leader of England,the mysterious entity known only as Reverend PP.Penisfeather.Many a valiant English knight has sought out the Holy Grael in an intergalactic quest that ultimately claimed his life.

Thanks to Raelism,Brits have begun to clone themselves using alien biogenetics and it's only a matter of time before they overrun and take over our planet by sheer strength in numbers!!!


25% Brits worship overrated footballers who are no different from those WWE "Superstars" and shamelessly strip on the football stands during their goal-induced orgasms.These desperate Brits are willing to sell their souls in exchange for the opportunity to get an autograph from these footballers,as well as polish their balls with their tongues.Prominent and revered football deities include David Beckham,Steven Gerrard,Christino Ronaldildo,Lionel Messi and Zinedine Zidane(yeah,that's right).


18% Brits worship Dalai Lama,famed and renowned throughout the Universe for being the founder of the Adult Film Industry. Need I go into the specifics?


What?!The total percentage adds up to more than a hundred?

Well,that's not hard to explain.The fact of the matter is,even as you're reading this,more Brits are being spawned through genetic cloning and Inbreeding.Why,even before you could say "Tinder and Flint" , there are precisely 666 more Brits being extracted from the DNA Cloning chambers,ready to make this world a worse place to live in.


Hauntings In England

Phantom Manor Paris

Now that's what I'm talkin' about

England is undisputedly the most haunted country on Earth.....ever wondered how or why England is so famous for paranormal hot spots?

Brits,being neither human nor quite alien,but instead a bizarre misbegotten hybrid of both,have a supernatural dilemna after they die.Unlike Japs,Brits DO have a soul,well,if you could call it that anyway.So then,where do these mutant aberrations go after they die???NOWHERE-They never leave this plane to begin with!Neither Heaven nor Hell wants them because they weren't meant to be...and they just don't fit in anywhere.Thus,Brits are condemned to an existence of eternal Purgaytory after they die and are compelled to co-exist with the living while having a swell time haunting the crap of foreign kids and tourists who have a thing for creepy old gothic mansions.It is widely believed that the deceased far outnumber the living in England,aye,and with good reason too.


World Domination Campaign

Gamethronesbean01

"One does not simply march into London....."

As you all know,the Black Death ravaged across Europe in the Middle Ages,killing millions.The Bubonic plague,as it was officially known,was the result of direct contact with escaped lab rats who had been used as test subjects and injected with a genetically-engineered alien virus,created for the sole purpose of leaving human civilization crippled.Unlike Japs,Brits are rather easy to kill,partly because they don't have the ability to spontaneously regenerate lost limbs and shoot telekinetic laser beams from their eyes.The problem with Brits is.....they don't STAY dead.They either return from the grave with a vengeance to haunt the living,or they become Revenants.When Merlin got his depraved hands on the Necronomicon,he used its power to raise a vast undead legion of Englishmen,against whom no mortal army could ever hope to prevail.He even went on to summon a host of netherworldly monsters,the likes of which would make you shit your pants in bed and snuggle up to your mom,while you're sleeping with her.Undead orcs,undead trolls,undead Vikings,undead Indians,undead ninjas,undead Injas and other nightmarish creatures of the night.Eternal destruction was nigh for mankind.....but fate had other plans,for on that day Ash came to the rescue with an unstoppable army of Pocket Monsters who gave Merlin's army an ass-whuppin' and sent them crawling back to their holes.And on that day,all was well and mankind prevailed,all thanks to those little Poke-Porn stars.....

                                  "GOTTA FUCK 'EM ALL,POKE-PORN !!!"
Iguana 2

Pokemon HATE Brits.

The Brits' most recent but failed attempt at world domination was hiring a whore named J.K Rowling to pervert the minds of children with her novels of Harry Potty and his escapades in Hogfarts School of Bitchcraft and Faggotry.It was a global mind-control tactic that made kids turn on their elders(kinda like "Children of the Corn",only this was all about porn instead).It was a nefarious scheme aimed to systematically divide and conquer mankind by brainwashing kids and convincing them that all Englishmen were of pure blood and lineage and that everyone else was a "Mudblood" or Mugger or whatever and that it was their sacred duty to slaughter them through genocide.If the Brits had their way,all the children would have butchered their own parents and then turned on each other,finally killing each other off and leaving Earth in the hands of the Brits.....However,when Dumbledore was finally revealed to be a fairy and the movies ended despite attempts to prolong them by making the last one a two-part film,the Harry Potty craze ended and all the children turned on the Brits instead,demanding more!A plan that completely backfired and yet another failed attempt at taking over Earth!Suck on that,Brits.


And what of the Original Brit???That SOB who started it all?!


Being the first of his kind,he bears the blessing/curse of immortality.It is rumored that the only weapon that can do him any harm is the fabled sword Excalibur,forged in the fires of Mordor and tempered in the sperm of a thousand trolls,aye,the very same legendary blade that was used to slay the Hydra,Leviathan,Bigfoot,Nessie,Snooki,The Big Show and so on.And as for his identity,he has used countless names over the ages,but you'll know him more popularly as Mr.Bean......


Anyway, let me get to the point :


I've been through dimensions and realms killing anything that seems even remotely English ( Better not try to act smart with your fucking English accent >:D ) and now I've set my sights on Earth.I'll slay any and every Englishman who crosses my path.That's just how I roll...or troll , whatever , WHO GIVES A FUCK ANYWAY?!

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE MOTHERFUCKING BRITS A LESSON

There isn't a single Brit on the face of the Earth who can stand up to my might!!!!!!!

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