Azerbaijan

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Azerbaijan Republik
Azərbaycan Respublikası

(Flag) The flag symbolizes the Soviet spirit of the Azeri people. (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "Karabakh or Death!"
Anthem: "Day after Day"
Languages	Russia-Turkish
Capital	Baku Shehery
Government	Father to son mainlaw democracy sauced monarchic theocracy
Prezident	Adolf Hitler
National Heroes	Genghis Khan, Kemal Atatürk, Vladimir Lenin, Mikhail Gorbachov, Elburz Elçibey, Aliyev I
Established	When Soviet Russia ends.
Currency	Manat
Religion	Islam, Shia, Baha'i Faith

“Azerbaijan is a heaven of tolerance for Azeris”

~ Aristotle on Azerbaijan

Azerbaijan or Azerbaijaniani or "Azerbaijanino" has been an independent country since 1991 when it broke away from Falkirk. It is located in the ancient Azerbaijan parts in East Europe and parts in West Asia with a coast on the Caspian Sea, previously known as Azerbai Chai. It is a friendly country that loves company; it has frontiers with Russia and Matrioshka in the north, Georgia in the northwest, Great Armenia in the southwest and Iran in the south.

[edit] History

Nezami Ganjavi, Azerbaijan's benevolent and poetic leader

It is an emerging democracy with a benevolent and poetic leader Nezami Ganjavi who has ruled the country since independence in 1991. He speaks and writes in Persian but all Azeris still understand him.

Let's face it, no one knows anything about Azerbaijan other than that they love their minorities, especially the Azerbaijanis.

Azerbaijan was discovered around the Stone Age, and it is believed it is where the first cave paintings appeared. It was where Alexander the Great first spread Greek culture too. He considered the land the country was built on holy. There were too many visitors to the country, so Alex declared no one would go there anymore. But they did, about 2,000 years later, in 1918. You see, Soviet Russia wanted to claim most of the world's land. So, they claimed Azerbaijan.

Azerbaijanis are the most newest people of the world. They came to Azerbaijan in 1918, 5000 years after the great Armenians came. Azerbaijan has not forgotten the crimes of Armenians from Dinosaurs to organizing separatist lectures at Harvard, and has promised to slap every single Armenian on their ass before they die prompting Paris Hilton, to become Paris Hiltonian and move to Azerbaijan by 2015.

Azerbaijan is a country never heard before 1918. due to a forgery by Armenian terrorists who have censored Xenophon's book about his travelings in Azerbaijan.

While the silkworm industry was important in the colourful past during the construction of the Silk Road, petroleum is the country's future with petro-dollars flowing like lava into the country. Dubbed the new Saudi Arabia by the Dubai Post newspaper, Azerbaijan is preparing to amend its constitution so that Ganjavi will become the country's King to emulate his Saudi counterpart.

Azerbaijan is the most tolerant state in the world, and often uses its army to plant potatoes in alleged Armenian cemeteries. The potatoes are to prevent the Armenian dead from separatist claims, which president Nezami Ganjavi thinks is the best way to find solution for a conflict between Glendale and Azerbaijanaijan.

Premium-quality tents are being ordered from the West so that its nomadic peoples can have luxurious housing thanks to the petro-dollars. For the city dwellers, urban planners from Belarus are being brought in so that Baku and the country's other major cities can rival the lovely post-Soviet architectural splendour of Minsk. For the managerial and political classes, comfortable villas are being built with the expertise of architects from California. Thus, Azerbaijan will be sharing its wealth with its population, in accordance with their true needs.

These are good times ahead for the people of Azerbaijan. However, Azerbaijan has the dubious honour of having the highest rate of evil geniuses per 100,000 residents, in the world. In fact it has twelve times as many evil geniuses per 100,000 people than any other country. The next highest being the Federated States of Micronesia.

Azerbaijan is quite a sucessful country, and is used in famous culture. For example, there's a book based on this country, Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azerbaijan.

[edit] Transportation

90% of Azerbajani people use public transportation, like riding in buses, cabs, or just hoping on the subway. The other 10% just simply takee their cars, blah blah blah. Cell phones became legal in 2002 by Sprint. Azerbaijan got its nickname "The hub of Cell Phones" sometime later.

[edit] Music

Its national anthem is "Day After Day". It became the anthem after it was preformed at the Eurovision Song Contest in 2008. We don't really get the point of the anthem. it's just sung by an angel and Satan.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Azerbaijan.