Ayrton Senna

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“You'd best not get in my way when I'm driving or I'll have you”
~ Ayrton Senna on Ayrton Senna
“Speed if of the essence”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ayrton Senna

Ayrton Senna (also known as the The Greatest Turkey Baster Of All Time) is one of the biggest cheats ever seen in the history of F1, whose current wherabouts are unknown. Originally thought to be one of the Boys From Brazil, Senna quickly rubbished this rumour by not speaking with a German accent or wearing an eyepatch, although his later cloning did raise questions on the issue again. It is rumoured that he is spending time with Captain Kirk chasing hot space chicks. Senna is also one of the coolest men ever to walk the Earth.

Clone

Senna got bored of being awesome and had himself cloned so that he could go off and do other things. Unfortunately the clone did not come out too well, instead taking on the identity of a German and calling himself Michael Schumacher. Senna was pretty pissed off with this and decided to get out while he could, before he got beaten by himelf. Schumacher himself was cloned to become whiny bitch-boy Lewis Hamilton. Senna has not been available for comment.


Later career

Senna took up bee-keeping until he was offered the chance to put his awesomeness to good use by being an undercover agent. This meant he had to disappear off the face of the planet, but had to fake his own death so that he could actually be of some use, unlike James Bond. Since becoming an agent, Senna has had a record 9001 kills of bad guys, but Lewis Hamilton is still on his hit list.

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