Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition

From left to right, Fidel Castro, Ayatollah Seyyed Ali Khamenei, and Kim Jong Il compete.

The Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition is held each year in a secure bunker in a different member of the Axis' country. A source of pride among Axis members, all evil activities cease when the games are played.

History

The history of the Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competition dates back to just before World War II. In 1939, Benito Mussolini sought a way to bring his allies closer together. To that end, he invited Adolf Hitler and Emperor Hirohito to Rome for a summit. Hitler brought with him a large number of frankfurters for the trip, as they were one of his favourite foods to eat on road trips. Mussolini jested, "I bet I can eat more of those than you!" Hitler accepted Mussolini's challenge. Not to be outdone, Hirohito joined the competition. It was then that, what was called at that time, the "Axis of Power Hot Dog Eating Competition" came into being.

Since that time, the name, and the members, of the Axis have changed, but the beauty of this contest remains intact.

Rules and Awards

The rules are simple: eat as many hot dogs as possible in 30 minutes. The team who eats the most hot dogs wins the competition. Each member country is allowed a two-man team, with one alternate. A point is scored for each quarter of a hot dog a contestant eats, with four total points per hot dog. The scores of the team members are added together, and the team with the highest score is proclaimed the winner.

The winning country receives not only a golden trophy, but also the right to be the primary enemy of the United States of America for one year. The winner can waive this right to the runner up, which has happened the past six years, as Cobra has wanted to lay low.

Recent Competitions

The past six Axis of Evil Hot Dog Eating Competitions have been won by the team of Cobra Commander and Destro of Cobra, with Kim Jong-Il and Alec Baldwin finishing second in 2004. Here is the breakdown of those years:

• 2004 - Cobra, waived to North Korea
• 2003 - Cobra, waived to Iraq
• 2002 - Cobra, waived to Iraq
• 2001 - Cobra, waived to Afghanistan
• 2000 - Cobra, waived to France
• 1999 - Cobra, waived to Somalia
• 1998 - Your mom

Nominated Article

This article has been nominated for highlighting on the front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH. Please see this article's entry.