Autoexec.bat

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Autoexec.bat.

edit The main idea of the Autoexec.bat file

“If so, it may have made some changes to your autoexec.bat file.”
~ PC expert on viruses
Batman13-1-

Bats are not always inside computers

The Autoexec.bat file is what your computer uses when it boots (booting is what your computer does when you switch it on). It contains lots of commands that fill your computer with food remains. It also fills the RAM ("Roast-A-Memory") with Automatic Bats that (usually eat roasted memory. But since they are bored of that stuff, they eat the food remains instead (they need a dark background to do that, otherwise they will fly back). When the bats have eaten all the food, they fly around in your programs and eat bugs that make your computer Beep. When they not are hungry anymore, they will fly back to the BIOS (the "Bat Inn, Of Source") where they usually eat boring roasted memory. There they also wait for next time the computer starts. The file may sometimes make the food contain viruses that kills the bats, and if this happens, the screen will turn into a big "black/blue hole" thing with white letters and numbers on (AKA "Blue Screen Of Death (BSOD)").

edit More about Automatic bats

Automatic Bats are more yellow, because of all the RAM they consume. They are inactive in light, so they need darkness to work. When they work they try to work with the speed of light, but sometimes they fail completely. In these cases they will be turned into stone, and block the way for other Automatic bats.

    \\AutoBat Procedure

    #include "eat.h"
    #include "RAM.h"
    #include "Stone.h"
    #include "Crash.h"
    #include "virus.h"
    #define Flyaround = dark
    #define BIOS = bright
 
    void main()
    {
        while(Flyaround)
        {
            bat_coord+rand(-5,5) = bat_coord;
            search(food_remains)
            if(food_remains = 1)
            {
               eat(food_remains)
               if (virus = 1)
               {
                  fail_fatal = 1;
               }
            }
            if(food_remains = 0)
            {
               search bug();
               if (bug = 1)
               {
                  eat(bug);
               }
            }
            if(fail_fatal = 1)
            {
                turn_to_stone()
                List(coord)+batcoord = List(coord)
                goto "Noneloop";
            }
            if(batcoord = List(coord,any_slot)
            {
                stop(bat)
                search(way_around)
                if(way_around = 1)
                {
                   batcoord = way_around;
                   else()
                   fail_fatal = 1;
                }
            }
        }
        while BIOS
        {
            eat(RAM)
        }
        return
        ChkP "Noneloop";
        goto "Noneloop";
    }

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