From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“I really like my Subaru, but I'm thinking about trading up to an Escalade.”
Autocracy is a system where the population of a society is controlled by automotive vehicles. It may be narrowly defined as that of a nation-state government specifically, or more broadly to describe a society as a whole.
Autocratic government aspires to serve automobiles as the dominant life form on the planet, rather than to serve man. This ideal is pursued by implementing some kind of a national transportation system and structuring the human society around the service, refueling, and use of cars, trucks, and SUVs.
edit History of Autocracy
The term "autocracy" was coined in ancient Greece, in Sparta in the 5th century B.C.E. Spartan autocracy is now seen as one of the earliest examples of a system corresponding to some of the modern notions of autocratic rule.
edit Spartan Autocracy
The Spartan system involved not the use of fossil fuel powered goats as modern day autocracies do, but rather a fleet of chariots pulled by beasts of burden. Furthermore, not all Spartans had access to these chariots, only the highly esteemed warrior caste was permitted to ride around.
As a warlike people, the Spartans used autocracy to their advantage. The pedestrian peoples of Athens, for instance, were defeated on the battlefield because of their tactical disadvantage.the end
edit Modern Autocracy
Modern autocratic societies extend the access to vehicular transportation to all or nearly all of their citizens. While most denizens of nations like the Canada own a car, the economically deprived have access to public transit.
Rapid advances in mass production and the internal combustion engine in the late 19th and early 20th centuries dramatically changed the nature of transportation, and hence of autocracy itself. Livestock became obsolete, and the advent of cars required the paving of vast swaths of landscape.
edit Essential Elements of Autocracy
True autocracy as a form of government always has the following characteristics:
- There is an autos, a group of vehicles which demands service from human beings.
- There is a roadway, whether paved or unpaved in which the vehicles can travel.
- There is a fuel supply chain to keep the vehicles reliably powered.
- The human society must be organized in such a way that it is impossible to live a reasonable life without access to transportation.
Modern autocracies like the United States are also defined by their participation in the War on Terra.
edit Major Autocratic World Powers
The following countries have a powerful autocratic system in place.
- United States of America
- Communist Republic of New Zealand
- Empire of Antarctica