Oceania

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The United States of Oceania is the largest micronation in the world, started by Cher shortly after she became Oprah Winfrey's apprentice. Oceania covers over 5000 square kilometres in the Pacific Ocean.

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edit The Beginning

The first inhabitants were a bunch of black guys who, although they looked, spoke and acted like Africans, claimed that they were not Africans and therefore gave their Indonesian neighbours a headache. They proceeded to take the piss out of them, thus rendering them powerless. In the 1800s, It was a hideout for the Cillit Bang Cult until Buffy arrived and slew Willy Wonka, then got crucified after calling the islanders Chinese. All was quiet for a while.

In the early 1990's, Cher travelled to remote island off the coast of Britain in her quest to claim territory for Oprah's ongoing bid for world domination. On this island she planted her flag (which consisted of an aluminium pole with a wig sitting on top of it), and declared the new territory Oceania.

edit The Conquest of the Oceanias

One island was, of course, not enough for the Satanic Oprah. She sent legions of Oprahism followers to the island in order to stage the hostile take-over of the Atlantic.

Oprah was successful in her conquest. As of October 2005 she holds 8552 islands in the Atlantic ocean, all of which make up the micronation Oceania.

edit Government

Oprah is the totalitarian dictator of Oceania. She rules with an iron fist, her elite police force of overweight African women constantly watches everyone. They have devices installed in every home that allow the police to listen to and/or see anyone inside.

Oprah demands that every citizen of Oceania be a strict follower of Oprahism. Anyone found not practicing Oprahism is sentenced to death by being sat on by an overweight African woman.

edit The Future of Oceania

Oprah intends to continue her bid for world domination, and acquires new islands in the Atlantic daily. However, her secret plan to invade and take over England was recently leaked by a renegade citizen. The ghosts of Winston Churchill and Jimi Hendrix heard about the plans and are currently planning a pre-emptive strike against Oceania.

It looks as though war is on the horizon for Oceania. My advice to residents is to hoard all your cookies now before it is too late.

edit George Orwell

Orwell's final novel, Fahrenheit 1984, is set in Oceania, although the book was written before Cher established the original colony. This leads me to the logical conclusion that Orwell travelled forward in time to an era where Oceania has expanded even more and Oprah has reverted back into her manly form, re-naming herself Big Brother (no doubt after the Television Program).


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