Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 7

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August 7: Anniversary of the Day The Matrix Stopped Being Cool

• 1458 - Math matrices (invented August 6, 1458 on the island of Thule) are deemed annoying. This resulted in the start of the mathematicians' decline from the top of the pantheon of coolness.
• 2003 - An adolescent who, for no reason at all, starts mimicking the slow-motion bullet dodge from the first movie on a bus, is appalled to discover that his fellow passengers are not immediately breaking out in applause and high-fives, as is usual whenever any reference to The Matrix is made by anyone at any time.
• 2004 - A suburban family, watching a toothpaste advertisement featuring characters in black leather doing kung-fu, lets out a bored sigh in complete unison.
• 2005 - A stand-up comedian, beginning a joke with the words "You take the blue pill", is booed offstage and has his car tyres slashed.
• 2006 - A man is kicked to death for saying "Whoa" in a Keanu-esque fashion.
• 2008 - Robert Mugabe becomes the 44th President of the USA, announces that the Matrix "is totally not cool" and that people caught watching it "will be shot."
• 2196 - Dinosaurs return to Earth.