Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 31

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August 31: Halloween, A Rob Zombie Holiday.

• 78 BC - God invents horror films, the first one being Klugg Vampire Go on Rampage with Pet Dinosaur.
• 69 BC - John Carpenter is born
• 161 - Commodus, Roman Emperor is born. His parents were flushed with excitement.
• 320 A.D. - Knives invented by Leonardo Da Vinci.
• 540 A.D. - Greeks invent the holiday of Halloween, because they were bored and had nothing else to do.
• 1862 - President Abraham Lincoln throws the first Halloween party in the United States.
• 1958 - Jamie Lee Curtis is born.
• 1963 - Mike Myers is born, much to the amusement of John Carpenter, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger and Chucky.
• 1940 - Einstein comes up with the concept for sequels, regretting doing so a decade later. DEEPLY.
• 1955 - Rob Zombie is born, dies, and then becomes... what else? A zombie!
• 1978 - The original Halloween movie is released; Mike Myers sues for unauthorized use of his name. Mike Myers is attacked by Michael Myers and survives.
• 1989 - Mike Myers joins the cast of Saturday Night Live, as Michael Myers rushes out another sequel, Halloween 5.
• 1990 - Michael Myers disappears from pop culture radar and decides to take up golf. Meanwhile, Mike Myers' career begins to take off.
• 1993 - The most mature day in recorded history
• 1995 - Michael Myers is back with a vengeance as Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is released to little fanfare. Donald Pleasence dies and is replaced by a talking dog.
• 1998 - Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later saves the Halloween franchise.
• 2002 - The Halloween franchise is nearly killed by Busta Rhymes in Halloween: Resurrection.
• 2006 - Rob Zombie announces that he is remaking Halloween.
• 2007 - Rob Zombie's masterpiece, Halloween (2007 film), is released and grosses more money than Mr. Bean, Balls of Fury, Superbad, Titanic II, and Transformers combined. A sequel si planned, but unfortunately, it stars Jason instead of Michael.