Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
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Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a disease characterised by a person's inability to focus on something, or remember one's own name for a short amount of time Awww, look at that little kitten!
Kitties are adorable creatures aren't they? I remember when I had a kitty as a little child. Her name was Tinkleberry. Once I dropped her in the—wait, we were talking about ADHD, weren't we? Anyway, most people who suffer from this disorder tend to have difficulty in school. They can't WHAT WAS THAT SOUND? Anyway...THERE'S THAT SOUND AGAIN! Is that your cell phone? THERE IT GOES! Wait, listen... OK, it's gone. Look at the shiny quarter.
I love shiny things. Shhhhhhhiny. Shiny shiny shiny shiny things. Shiney... shimminy... shiney. Shimminy shiney. They always fascinate me. You know what's really shiny? Water. Waterwaterwater... watar. WATA WAKKA. It's clear and it sparkles, and it fills your toilet so you can pee in it. FWOOM Fwsssshhhhhhhhh glug glug glug gurgle blop.
Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah.
Wait, crap, I heard Dave is in town. Do you like Styx? "I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea \ I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of—" Did you see Law & Order last night? I LOVE THAT SHOW, especially Jack McCoy, he's SUCH a—do you hear a saxophone?
Is that a saxophone? My friend used to play sax in Band. DOOT DoOoOOoT WAHH WAH WAHHH FWEEEEEEEEDILLYDOODILYWWWWAAAH WAH!
ADHD is a severe problem in today's schools, as schoolwork competes with other distractions for child's attention, often—OH MY GOD look at the kitty! KITTY! COME HERE KITTY! KITTY KITTY. HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY. KITTY KITTY? HERE KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY. KITTLE KENNEL KITTY KETTLE KITTER KITTEN MEOW MEOW! I AM A WINGED KITTY FLAPPING MY MINISCULE KITTY WINGS OVER A VAST FAR REACHING SUNSET.
Anyway, it can prove to be very difficult for a sufferer to get back on track once the subject of their attention has been diverted. However, medication is available to assist—heh, I said "ass." And speaking of asses, do you like Jennifer Lopez? I could stare at that thing all day. OVER A VAST FAR REACHING SUNSET.
Huh? Oh. Along with drug treatment, patients or their parents may choose therapy, or more commonly, a good smack upside the head. My parents always choose the latter. I grew up on an experimental medication called "the belt". My dad used to be a boxer, so he was really good at it. I love boxing. My dad really got me interested in it when I was a kid.
That blue shirt looks great on you. Is that a mole? You should get that removed. Once they have been assessed, their wealth of knowledge is apparent to the world—No, really, that shirt looks good. Blue is my favorite color, have I told you that? So many things are blue. The ocean, the sky—Awwwwww, look at that little kitty. Little kitty-witty widdo kiddy-widdy-woo. Kiddy-boo. Awww, you's jus a widdle biddy kiddy-woo, isn't oo? Yews yoo aw, widdo kitty scwuffy wuffy widdy wibble wuffy wumpy woo? Bow shikka woo bow wikka bing fling bow bibiddyspidiffysping blat. */beatbox*
I am so creative. Creativity. Eccentricity. Electric currents. Corrugated card board.
Wait, what was I doing?
Please excuse me, *ahem* Now the occurrence of ADHD has been observed to rise over the course of the kitty's back! Mew! Meow? Meow? Mew! Mew, kitty! Mew? Mew? Golf courses. Filled with kitties. Over a vast far reaching sunset.
Damn it! Oh look it's Oscar Wilde. Oscar Wilde, Oscar Wilde, Wilde Wilde Wilde Wilde Wilde, Oscar Wilde. I like Oscar Wilde. He is everywhere on Uncyclopedia and he is a cool guy. He is cooler than cool, he also won so many Celebrity Deathmatch fights, I think he won the most. Do you like Celebrity Deathmatch? Eh, MTV sucks anyway. M. What does it stand for again? Mayonnaise? Heh, heh. That almost sounds like Mays. As in Billy Mays. O HAI, BILLEH MAYZ HAR WIT TEH NUW OXEH-CLEHN DEETURGENTT! GIT AWN TEH BAWL! IM SUCH TEH FAGGOT! WOW, A YARDD SAYL! He should've been in Celebrity Deathmatch. He'd get his posterior kicked so BAD.
You know what else is bad? Blue hedgehogs. Seriously, do you know how far this guy's been? Yeah, me neither. But I heard he sucks nowadays. Two-tailed foxes with an IQ of Einstein is retarded too. Seriously, how the crap did he get smart? And he's only SIX YEARS OLD! SIX PLUS 3 EQUALS NINE! NINE, I TELL YOU! That movie's gonna be so awesome, 9. Zipper men with explosions is plain out badASS. Did you ever get it caught in your zipper? It hurts like HELL. And hell is HOT as hell.
You knows who's hot? Your mom. *is shot in the chest*
IT HUWTS
Oh lookit. It's that kitty again. Awwwww. Oh wait. Did I just get shot? Shots. Shotty shoddy shotty. Injections. Injectures. Injunctions. *commences skimming thoroughly through the phonetic abbreviations of the english alphabet*.
I hope you won't think wrongly me of for this. I will correct when I am done here - Ineptitude. Longitude. In - *drops dead from blood loss*.
Black space is blank.
