Atlantean Ocean

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The beautiful Atlantean coast line.

[edit] The Ocean of Atlantean: Land of the Great Deep

Lots of fishes and squid live here. Occasionally, the odd Loch Ness monster can be spotted near the Bay of Fundy. In 1998 14 metric tonnes of very highly detailed French pornography was found floating near one of the numourous inlets by an illegal Japanese whaling craft. The craft towed the find back to port where it was ground down and made into Budda Jigsaws which where put on sale to tourists.

[edit] Nautical Facts About the Atlantean

Since the Earth is composed of 83% fresh water and 67 Gamillion % chocolate sauce, it is certainly an oddity that the Atlantean Ocean is mainly comprised of an aqua vanilla creme which originates from the icey shelves of Greenland. This creme is deadly when in contact with human flesh. The creme was apparently the main cause of death in the assassination of John Lennon when he fell out of his boat one day while fishing for kittens.

Interestingly, the Atlantean ocean is not actually an ocean, but rather an anti-island. Hence the sailors' famous shanty "If I weren't not an un-island, I wouldn't not be Atlantean". The first verse of which is often mixed with four parts rum and eight parts brine to produce scurvy.

[edit] Geographical Facts

Highest point: 2ft

Lowest Point: -4.817kJ/mol (AKA, when it downed a bottle of tequila and drunk-dialed its ex)

Main Compostion: Toxic Aqua Vanilla Creme

Most Important Bay: The Bay of Fundy

Least Important Bay: The Bay of Nonfundy

Most Important Coastal Town: Oslo

Least Important Coastal Town: London

Beach Parking Provided By: Afghan Parking Lot

Number Of Reported Deaths: i

Connects to old man Kelsey's lake, sole remaining habitat of the red-breasted flugendoffer.

What the bottom of the Antlantean ocean looks like after eating an Atlantean merman's tail.

[edit] Modern Usage

The Atlantean Ocean is now used as a passageway between the Old World and the New World. A gondola must be used. It must be made entirely of chocolate, else the ship will in fact be consumed by the deadly toxic aqua vanilla creme. There is no cow level.

[edit] The Ocean of Atlantean: Sea of the Bad Shallows

Around 5% of the Atlantean Ocean is only 2ft deep. Therefore, when navigating a gondola through the rough terrain, one must use expert caution.

[edit] Gondola Safety

Be sure to travel at night when the sun is less likely to melt your chocolate gondola. The reason why a Chocolate Gondola MUST be used is because the vanilla and the chocolate form a chemical balance between the two flavors. Also, it is a good idea to bring snacks along for the journey as chocolate can be very tempting. Keep in mind that although the ocean itself is made of vanilla creme, it is highly toxic vanilla creme and will kill you if you so even touch the stuff. Its not fun, I promise. You may use whichever stick you wish. But the Gondola must be made entirely of Chocolate.

[edit] Shallow Areas

Be sure to avoid places where the highly toxic vanilla creme turns a greenish colour. This means that there is potential hole-puncturing devices which could shatter your protective chocolate shell. The main shallow area no one who hasn't read The Odyssey will know about.

[edit] Friendly Lifegaurd Reminder

"If you jump in, I'm not going after you. So play it safe and boat after dark. Besides, you can spend your day listening to Depeche Mode or Elton John, wouldn't that be more pleasant?"