Atheist Doctrine
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Atheists believe in the Goddess Athe, who is wise and powerful beyond measure. They are some of the most religious people in the world.
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[edit] Overview
Athe is the supreme Goddess of Atheism. She exists, but does not want anyone to know, and will actively kill anyone who says that She does.
Her full name is Athe Nogod Antichrist (acronym Athena, who is also the goddess of civilization, specifically wisdom, weaving and crafts). This is why all Atheists are wise, creative, intelligent and sit at home all day folding twigs. She also has a sister called Antithe and a twin sister named Athena who share the same mother Hera. She used to be the Greek goddess of skepticism, and worked with Athena goddess of wisdom, but decided to form her own religion, or non-religion as it were.
Because of Her contributions to the Atheist and the worldwide society, She is thought to be in hiding in a cave somewhere in the vicinity of Uluru, Australia, to escape Her popularity and assassination attempts by the Vatican. (They believe, falsely, that Athe was only the 'renegade' creation of the 'Christian God'.)
[edit] Background
Very little is known of the behaviour of Athe, for she was mysteriously left out of the tales and myths of the old Greek gods, despite concrete evidence in the form of mysterious carvings on Atlantis that she attended one of their orgies. Athe still claims that those carvings are the result of Carvingshop, an Atlantean fluffyware technology that allowed editing of previously carved stonography.
She is credited with numerous inventions, such as:
- Anal Beads
- Dildo's
- The Burning Sheep
- Abortion Mills
- Stem Cell Research
- Gay Marriage
- Skepticism
- Logic and Reason
- Philosophy
- Science
But she is not credited for these numerous inventions, such as:
- Religion that was Odin who by the way doesn't exist
- Racism that was the KKK who do exist
- War that was Mars the God of War, who by the way doesn't exist
- Ignorance that was humanity who do exist
- Chaos that was Loki and Eris Discordia who by the way don't exist
- Change that was Barrack Obama who does exist, but isn't the Messiah, or Jesus, or 12th Imam, just a regular human being
Note: She is often thought to have created the world. This is untrue. The world was created by a "big bang" where particles went BOOM and there was life due to evolution. The End.
[edit] Atheists, an examination
Communication in any form (i.e, prayer, holy writings) is considered the highest form of heresy because it is presumptuous and foolish to try to contact one so high and mighty.
It is a popular misconception that Atheists lack belief in any god. This is incorrect. (Those people are 'scientists'.) Atheists encourage belief in this misconception, as it stops religious zealots from destroying their top-secret headquarters at Atheru (also known as Uluru) in Australia. In fact, Atheists, afraid of eternal damnation, will go as far as to tell other religious peoples that they are idiots and that they would be better off believing in nothing, as they supposedly do.
Atheists gather their knowledge in a series of visions that can take anywhere between one minute to one year. It is most often the case that the longer it takes to receive a vision, the brain damage you have suffered. You cannot receive any visions at all until you have accepted a self-proclaimed false wisdom, and have reached at a minimum the -san level of immaturity. Those with less intellect than a snail may incorrectly interpret the vision as coming from science instead of the Christian God.
[edit] Atheists and their debating skills
First of all, in order to properly worship Athe, Atheists will argue that no God exists. They will call other Atheists as 'brights' and religious people as 'dims' in order to show that atheists are enlightened beings and religious people are in the dark. So they will take a religious person's beliefs on the Internet and tear them to shreds. Pointing out any flaws or logical fallacies, even when there is none, they will invent them. They will claim that any reference to a holy book like The Bible is circular logic, and thus they reject it. Then ask the religious person to define God and not use the Bible or any other holy book. When the person uses the works of Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking to show there is a higher intelligence to the universe than humanity the Atheist will either reject the works of Einstein and Hawking, or argue that the complex patterns in the universe and life itself are due to random chance and that Earth won the cosmic lottery for life, only there is no cosmic lottery or anyone to run it, as it was all the big bang and evolution instead. Then they will reject the religious person's beliefs and views as flawed, illogical, irrational, and superstitious and not at all scientific or based on fact. Thus the religious person is turned to tears and can possibly be converted to Atheism during this time of weakness.
[edit] Other Atheist Doctrines
