Atari teenage riot

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Some of the ring leaders

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Atari Teenage Riot.

The Atari Teenage Riot (abbreviated ATR) was a German riot which began in Berlin in 1992, Highly political, it included anarchists, anti-fascists, anti-Nazis, anti-anti-Nazis, anti-anti-anti-Nazis and antipasto. One rioter, an unnamed citizen of the Alec Empire, described it as "digitally hardcore" despite it never taking place in cyberspace and never really being that hardcore.

The cause of the riot remains to this day unknown, the most likely theory is that it was Microsoft's 1992 release of Windows 3.1x with its 1 pixel an hour download speed of internet pr0n that made life so unbearable leading youths to turn to the Atari system as an alternative source of Pr0n, After realizing Pong was not a euphemism for sex they turned violent thus beginning the Atari Teenage Riots.

edit Violent Beginnings

Violence first broke out after a Neo-Nazi practicing his robot dance moves to German techno was mistaken as a ninja, this was spotted by pirates, or as they prefer to be known anarchists, who sounded the bell believing this to be yet another nauseating round of Pirates versus Ninjas. This attracted the attention of the landlady of the German techno gay bar, (all techno bars in Germany are gay, oddly this is also the favorite haunt of most Nazis too, in fact the Nazi salute arose out of an annual Nazi fisting party, coincidentally this was the same party where Hitler got poo on his top lip decided he liked the look, Nazi is of course German for nasty, see BDSM) Nic Endo (aka Nice End, aka Nic Bendover), she protested against the violence and pointed to the sign "no politics on the dance floor"... she was subsequently glassed to death.

Violence then spilled onto the streets and raged on throughout the years in a highly efficient German style

edit Later years

May 1st 1999, with the riot in its 7th year, coincided with an anti-NATO protest in Berlin, the peace loving hippies were absorbed into the riot but later many were arrested for "inciting violence", it in fact turned out that this was the largest hippie terrorist cell in Europe, police upon raiding their tree houses after overpowering their LSD induced dwarfs and midgets discovered a plan for a large attack, the bomb was found and diffused in time with just 0.001 seconds to spare, it was later discovered to be full of flowers, this dirty bomb would of spread a cloud of highly irritating pollen over Europe striking down millions of hay fever sufferers. A high ranking German police official speaking at the trial in 1999 said if successful it would have been "larger than 9/11 when it happens"

The riot became yet more controversial when well known rioter Hanin Elias was molested by a member of the security services< and the riot was joined by arsonists from new york causing yet more destruction.

According to Magnet Magazine, "the anti-violence values, speed-thrash malevolence, and when paired with Endo's painful skronkage (some form of sexual jibe at the poor murdered landlady), the riot is decidedly denser than its predecessor."

The riot was ended in 2000 after known drug user Carl Crack (aka Carl Crackhead) had a psychosis and tried to stab people with his microphone stand because he thought he was a Zuluwarrior, with the majority of rioters murdered in a Zulu fashion the riot soon ended, many participants went home only to discover the internet was a lot faster, Atari was gone, Jesus had risen, pr0n grew on the vast majority of trees and could even be found on money.

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