Astronauts

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Astrostatic

Astronauts are super-human droid like creatures who can travel all around the universe at will. They fly around in space ships and look for other worlds. So far they have not found any.

Origin

"Astronaut" is from the Greek "astroknot" which means simply "up".

Discovery

On April 16th 1971 astronauts discovered margarine somewhere near Uranus, and brought it back to earth. Margarine has since become popular among earthlings as a butter substitute. Margarine is so tastey that some people simply can not believe that it is not actually rich creamy butter.

Care and Feeding

LisaNowak

An example of a Bat Fuck Insane astronaut

An astronaut's primary diet consists of Tang and dehydrated ice cream. The astronauts are very interested in rune stove technology, so they can melt their Tang into a paste form in which to dip their dehydrated ice cream. Contrary to popular belief, astronauts cannot eat any kind of solid non dehydrated food, with the sole exception of strudels.


Astronauts are sometimes cruel and they might try to bite you. The best course of action to counter this is to taunt them. Astronauts are also known to prey on midgets, occasionally coming down to earth and swooping down to steal the helmet off of an unsuspecting midget, thus rendering them helpless. They then may come back for the midget, and carry them back to space. It is believed that the astronauts, however, may not consume the stolen midgets, but rather are training them to be an invincible midget astronaut army of doom to use against anyone who tries to take a stand against them on Earth.

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