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Arty aardvark

Arthur about to fall through his usual hoop. Seen flaming on Saturday nights at various circuit parties.

“Kneel before Mary Moo Cow!”
~ D.W. on her god

Arthur (not to be confused with Arthur Meighen or Arthur XXX: A Porn Parody) is a pseudo-educational animated series based on anthropomorphic animals dealing with real life problems. It was once a very popular show on PBS, and is still often employed as a brainwashing technique by such inferior. The show frequently juggles such topics as sex, greed, friendship, alien conspiracies and Soviet Russia, and places a strong emphasis on books. Presumably, this is where the show failed, because the show is on television. However, many people state that the show originated from a series of picture books. However, they are the same people who write episodes of Rugrats, so many people just snicker and throw stones at them. The show is known to portray (all) kids as complete idiots and all adults as ubergeniuses. It tried to help crush self ignorance to control their weak minds.

The show's main character is Arthur, an 8-year-old anthropomorphic aardvark. Because every 8-year-old has to deal with anthropomorphism. And knows what an aardvark is. Arthur himself attempts to single-handedly tackle every issue that is prevalent in elementary school, including family issues, racism, homosexuality, bestiality, and infertility.


The main story is that everybody can get along and become friends if they try hard enough. In later documentaries, such as Cats & Dogs (2001), Underworld (2003), and Machete (2010), this was shown to be utter bullshit, although the latter was demonstrated with real humans, so it doesn't really count.

Controversial Episode


The spider Arthur encounters. SCARY!!!!!!

There once was a controversial episode of Arthur that was deemed too scary for audiences, called 'OMG WTF WAS THAT!'. Okay, so Arthur goes to the Sugar Bowl and he sees a spider. A friggin' spider. Arthur, the pants-wetting bastard he always was, ran to Starbucks to hide. At Starfucks, oh I mean, Starbucks, Arthur eventually gets hungry and wants to buy a coffee but then realises his family is too poor, so he screams and then he wakes up to himself knee deep in his own urine. Luckily it was a dream, but unfortunately, his pissed off father comes in and yells 'GO TO FUCKING SLEEP FOR FUCK'S SAKE, IT'S TWO O CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING!'. Arthur attempts suicide for the umpteenth time. The moral of the episode was that spiders are scary.


Pal (estinian) - Pal is Arthur's favorite dog that happens to hate D.W., Israel, the United States of America, democracy, and Christianity. Allegedly adopted from a puppy mill in Egypt, Pal happens to be the ex-husband of Martha (Speaks) . They met in Egypt but Pal went to Elwood City and Martha went to Flagstaff, Arizona instead.

Arthur Read- Arthur is a fucking Aardvark who is almost constantly mistaken for a bear. Occasionally, he is perceived as a rabbit, but the idea is revoked after the realization that his best friend, Buster, is a rabbit, which seams to bear no relation. He could never find a girlfriend. All of his friends (with the exception of Francine Frensky) are male. He is the oldest of three offspring, usually on the honor roll, constantly under pressure from family and teachers, and has to deal with the ongoing drama of life. He likes to watch Power Rangers, Barney, Dark Bunny, the 90's version of Batman, South Park Meets Go, Diego, Go!, and The Real World. He loves jacking off to porn and playing with his dog, Pal. Arthur always beats up DW when he is on roid rage. He usually takes steriods so he can impress girls and beat up people. He wears a yellow cotton sweater and a pair of blue jeans, even in the summer.

Francine Frensky- Arthur's only real female friend. She is a Jew, which is odd because her family is the poorest in Elwood City. She is also a lesbian and enjoys eating Muffy's muff (her name makes sense now, doesn't it?). Her parents have disowned her because she cannot be buried in the family grave because she had "juicy" tramp stamped on her ass during a night of unbelievable inebriation. Her musical interests include Elton John, Melissa Etheridge, Cannibal Corpse, and Sting. She is currently excited about the class field trip to Massachusetts, where she and Muffy will finally "do what feels right."

D.W. Read- Arthur's younger sister. She has been a bitch since she was able to talk. She pulls cry and plead routines in order to get away with it. Ironically, she is good at school but acts like a bitch the minute she gets home. Her favorite shows are Mary Moo Cow, and Crazy Bus, the TV Show. Because of her tastes in things and attitude, DW loves drama and cannot handle any situation without being a total drama queen. It is one of her favorite hobbies. She is also a member of the Legion of Doom. She likes Neo-nazis, KKK, and skinheads.

Buster Baxter- Personal friend of Arthur Read. Swam the English channel, and received the Order of Lenin 2nd Class as well as Hero of Socialist Labour. He has a testosterone deficiency, resulting in a high pitched voice, and seemingly gay attitude. HE IS NOT GAY. NOT EVEN BISEXUAL. Buster has an evil mother who bosses him around. Buster's father is a pilot for various airlines. He is rarely seen in the Baxter funfest. Because of a lack of a father figure, Buster is usually a dumb ass because he never studies, and prefers renting movies, specifically Ghostbusters, from Blockbuster Video. His father would be pissed at him. He usually studies over pressure from his friends. He nearly failed the third grade, which even a second grader could pass. Of all the kids at school, Buster is the most popular. He also watches Dr. Rabbit. Buster always wears blue jeans, even in the summer, since he is a rabbit, and rabbits are often depicted in blue jeans. He has a cousin with the same name on Tiny Toon Adventures, and is the nephew of the evil Nazi, Dr. Rabbit.
He and his family are members of the Ku Klux Klan.

Binky Barnes- A big chickenshit who is supposed to be a bully. It turns out he loves butterflies, playing the skin flute, and trying to blend in with the Tough Customers, a clique of bullies. Binky is actually single and has majored in fine arts at Elwood City College.

Muffy Crosswire- A spoiled wich bitch who forces her loving parents to buy her everything. She is also the current Queen of New Jersey.

Mr. Nigga Emil(y) Ratburn- He likes to bang Japanese whores after school while listening to Turning Japanese by The Vapors. This is introduced in episode #666: "Mr. Ratburn Finds A Girlfriend"/"Arthur's Daughter".Mr Ratburn is a child molester.

Not Evil (In other words, people who fucking kick-ass, dude!)

Rattles Silicone- A member of the Tough Customers, Rattles is one of the true bullies in this group. Rattles speaks with a heavy New York accent with Italian pronunciation. He often seen hurting the feelings of the evil characters because they are losers. Rattles has never got into trouble because he can respect his elders and disrespect his peers (except his fellow Tough Customers).

Toby Hoopshoot- Toby is another one of the Tough Customers. He speaks with a form of California English by pronouncing certain vowels with a weird pronunciation. Toby loves skateboarding, loud rock music, beating up troublemakers, hanging out at Burger Barn, and doing things that Arthur does not like. Buster got beat up when he sung his version of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" with a faux British accent. Toby realized Buster was an sucker. He grabbed Buster by his shirt collar, held him against wall, and barked in his face.

Kate (the bitch) Read - She is not evil because she can't read and at least evil people can read in addition to speak English, write English, and carry on a conversation in English. She is a big fan of Ellen DeGeneres. She is ugly and stupid. All what she does is eat shit and sleep.

Molly McDonald's- Some hot skater bunny. Made for the fringe fetishists. Most likely a lesbian to Arthur's dismay.

Jane Read- Jane is transgendered and a total hottie. Too bad she's already married and has three kids. She is retarded.

Grandma Thora Read - Grandma Thora is Arthur, D.W., and Kate's paternal grandmother. She is a drug addict. She likes porn movies to watch with Arthur. She hates DW.

Grandpa Dave- Grandpa Dave is Arthur D.W. and Kate's maternal grandparent. He likes porn.

Dave Read- Jane's husband who spends his time making cakes for the Crosswires and worshipping Kyle Busch and Juan Pablo Montoya. He spends his weekends watching NASCAR with Muffy Cocksucker's dad. Also, he's a closeted gay because he wouldn't reveal to his wife or kids or pets that he's a total fag. He and Buster's dad dumed way before he became a dang pilot.

Munchlax- He's one of those doesn't-appear-much guys.

Nadine- Some paranoid schizophrenic bitch's imaginary friend.

Mary Moo Cow - Arthur's equivalent of Barney, with more hypnosis and crack user-related actions.


Season One

  • 103 Arthur's Underwear: Arthur's pants fall down and everyone finds out that he wets the bed and calls him a nerd again.
  • 105 Arthur's Big Hit: When D.W. offends the X-Men trilogy and tries to brainwash Arthur into liking Pirates of the Carribean, Arthur Falcon Punches her in the face, causing her brains to fly all over the place, and the whole town celebrates.
  • 106 Arthur and the Mass Murder: Buster goes crazy and kills several people in Elmwood City Elementary, and tries to kill Arthur. Arthur chops his nuts off.
  • 107 the Exorcism of D.W.: D.W. is possessed by Satan/Miley Cyrus. She decides to have a threesome with all 3 possessions. (A.K.A- She pretty much had sex with herself.)
  • 108 My Name is Pal: Pal tells Kate his life story and tells her how he murdered the Simpson family and how he carried out the Manson killings.
  • 109 Arthur vs the TMNT: Arthur becomes the new Shredder and is quickly defeated by the Ninja Turtles.
  • 110 Francine comes out of the Closet: Francine admits she's a lesbian, and has sex with Muffy. They go all the way on a bike Journey to a random hotel in Vegas for some pointless reason.
  • 111 Arthur the Pyro: Arthur burns down his school. Basically.
  • 112 Arthur sees Twilight: Arthur sees the Twilight movie and gets horny for Edward Cullen.

    Sorry, Arthur, But Edward's already seeing Jacob. (Just don't tell Bella, they like to see her confused.)

  • 113 Dummy Up: Arthur's pal George is diagnosed with schizophrenia and is sent to Arkham Asylum.
  • 114 D.W.'s Snow Mystery: D.W.'s snowball goes missing, so she takes everyone in the house hostage, and threatens to kill a hostage every hour until her snowball is returned.
  • 115 the Elwood Knight: Buster seeks the identity of Batman, and kills people to get the Caped Crusader's attention.
  • 116 For the Love of Muffy: Muffy realizes that she's a fat ass and goes bulimic.
  • 117 the Secret: Arthur finds out his dad is gay and in an affair with Muffy's dad. This causes Jane to go crazy to the point of killing her own children!
  • 119 the Half Baked Sale: Arthur makes some "special" brownies for the school bake sale. Buster eats some and has a weed induced delusion that everyone else is a zombie, and kills several people.
  • 120 Arthur's First Sleepover: Arthur, Buster, and the Brain decide to spend the night at Camp Crystal Lake.
  • 122 To BILLLLLLL BRASKY!: Arthur, Buster, the Brain, and Francine get drunk and talk about the legendary Bill Brasky.
  • 124 The Finale: Muffy waters her vag to see what would happen, the next day she grew a penis. Arthur was jealous because it was bigger than his. He tries to kill her!

Season Two

201 D.W. and the Blanky: D.W. loses her blanky and it goes across the country.

202 the Elwood City Chainsaw Massacre: Leatherface captures Francine's family and kills them all.

203 Arthur's Halloween:Arthur and the gang meet Michael Myers...who then kills the Tibble Twins.
Michael Myers 2007

And what's your naaaAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

204 Fernkenstein's Monster: Fern makes a monster made out of corpses which she uses to kill Francine.

205 Arthur in the Hood: Arthur winds up in the ghetto and gets a cap popped in his ass.

206 Buster and the Daredevils: Buster joins a satanic cult in order to get popular.

207 the Melancholy of Arthur: Arthur and Buster piss off Haruhi Suzumiya, who then destroys them with a single flick of her wrist.
-large--AnimePaper-scans The-Melancholy-Of-Haruhi-Suzumiya Jigoku 84681

This is what Arthur and Buster saw before they were killed. Lucky Bastards!

208 Escape from Elwood City: When the city is overrun by criminals, Arthur, Buster, Francine, Muffy, and the Brain must escape before they get killed. Later that night, Francine went missing.

209.Double Dare and Weed: Arthur and his gang try to sell some weed to some nut head teacher named Diego. They then stop when they find out that Diego is an informant from the FBI. They are the then to Guantanamo Bay where they get raped and shot.

210 Arthur's Twister: When a tornado hits town, Arthur seeks to ensure that he is only survivor of this force of nature.

211 Bleep, A Montage of Swear Words : When the Tibble Twins teach DW a bad word, DW says it and her mom spanked her ass until it bled.

212 and 213 Arthur's 300/THIS! IS! ELWOOD!: When DW tries to convert Elwood City to worship her dark god Mary Moo Cow, Arthur assembles three hundred warriors to fight her and her army.

214 Nightmare in Elwood: Freddy Krueger invades DW's dreams, so Arthur shoots her, thinking Freddy will also die. Freddy escapes, so he goes on a killing spree to try and purge the town of him, which ends in the Battle of Elwood City.

215 Nightmare in Elwood II: the New Nightmare: Freddy comes back to kill Arthur, and rapes Mr. Ratburn.

216 Arthur vs the Very Mean Crossing Guard: Arthur and the Brain are harrassed by a racist crossing guard who calls them mean names, so they get Grandma Thora to run him over.

217 Arthur: the Legendary Journeys: Crossover with Hercules: the Legendary Journeys. DW decides to team up with Hera to rid the world of Bionic Bunny, so Arthur and Buster team up with Hercules to stop them. Hercules kills DW by hurling her into the sun.

218-19 Night and the NightMan: Crossover with NightMan. Dead girl scouts begin to pop up around Elwood City, so NightMan comes to investigate, and discovers that Mr. Ratburn is behind them, because he fucking hates girl scouts.

Season Three

301 Clarissa is Cracked: D.W. borrows a doll from Grandma Thora. She made it take crack and it went high and tried to kill Grandma Thora.

302 Postcards from Buster: Buster goes to jail by robbing a Burger King and writes back postcards to tell everyone to get him out and what fuckers they are.

303 Tokyo Arthur: Crossover with Tokyo Mew Mew. D.W. joins the Cyniclons in their attempt to take over the world, only to be brutally killed by the Mew Mews.

304 Dirty Dancing III, the Roadhouse version: Arthur falls in love with the ghost of Patrick Swayze.

305 Reservoir Arthur:Arthur and the gang discover that someone snitched on their illegal activities, and go on a bloody quest of revenge to find out who ratted them out.

306 Hero Up!: Crossover with Super Hero Squad. DW finds a infinty fractal that gives her cosmic powers, and is later beaten up by the Super Hero Squad. Meanwhile Arthur and Buster get in a four way with MODOK and Abomination.

307 George's List: George begins a bloody crusade of vengeance against Lakewood Elementary.

308 Mambo Italiano: While in Italy, Francine and Muffy run afoul of the Mafia and their plan to resurrect Benito Mussolini.

309 Arthur Babysits: Arthur is asked to watch the Tibble Twins, but they get killed playing with dynamite, and Arthur is arrested for child negligence.

310 Locked in the Library: During a blizzard, Arthur, Buster, Francine, Muffy, and the Brain are locked in the library and are forced to resort to cannibalism.

311 the Devil and Buster Baxter: Buster sells his soul to Satan.

312 Go to Hell, D.W.: D.W. wakes up Kate at midnight and gets sent to hell, and then murders her parents for being cliche jackasses to her.

313 Arthur and the True Francine: Arthur discovers that Francine is a serial killer.

314 Arthur's TV-Free Week: D.W. causes the city to lose it's cable, and everyone burns her at the stake

315 Elwood Sin City: The prostitutes of Elwood City declare war on Mr. Ratburn after he kills one of their own, while Arthur seeks Francine's killer in order to clear his name.

316 DW and Emily get Freaky!: DW and her friend Emily have a gay moment together

317 Arthur's Eleven: Arthur gathers a team of specailists to help him take down Mr. Haney and steal his valued diamond.

318 Arthur and the Grue: Arthur buys a pet Grue to eat DW. Arthur and the Grue celebrate for 48 hours, ending with the Grue eating Arthur.

319 Ojamajos vs. Arthur: When Buster kills Onpu and Momoko, DW joins the FLAT4, only to get murdered. At the end, everyone dies.

Season Four

401-404 Lords of the Bling-Bling: Arthur and his friends go on a quest to destroy the One Ring and save Earth from Sauron, who is later gang raped by DW and Nadine.

405 Arthur goes to Camp: Arthur, Buster, the Brain, Francine, Muffy, Sue Ellen, Fern, and Binky are sent to Sleepaway Camp, where Binky and Fern are raped and murdered by crossdressing mass murderer Angela/Peter.

406 DW Flips: DW becomes addicted to steroids in order to be a better gymnast .

407 DW Gets Tortured: Arthur and his friends discover than DW is afraid of octopi and begin to torture her.

408 When Carl Met George: George's schizophrenia kicks in, causing him to imagine a friend named Carl.

409 Guitar Hero: Arthur gets addicted to Guitar Hero, and when his parents refuse to pay for more, he kills them both.

410 Street Fighter: the Arthur Edition: Arthur and Buster battle M.Bison and Shadaloo.
Chun li

Chun-Li was so greatful for what the boys did, she let them oogle her boobies. Again, those lucky bastards!

411 DW the Picky Eater: Arthur and his friends trick DW into eating the spaghetti...which kills her!

412 Arthur's Zodiac: the Zodiac Killer comes to Elwood City.

413 Bitch Done Stole Mah Crack!: Baby Kate becomes a crack addict.

414 Adventures of Super Brain 3: Brain mysteriously gets transported into a Super Mario game he borrowed from Arthur. After rescuing Princess Peach, he rapes her in the ass, only to be beaten to death with a shovel by Officer Jenny.

415 Arthur Kills Kenny McCormick: Crossover with South Park. Kenny McCormick interrupts Dark Bunny, and Arthur and Buster go to South Park to beat the shit out of him.

Season Five

501 Millon Dollar Arthur: Arthur and Buster take up boxing and are brutally killed by Rocky Balboa, But he winds up in a 235 month sentence in Nintendo Jail.

502 Raiders of the Lost Ark: Arthur and the gang try to stop DW and her Nazi follewers from obtaining the Lost Ark.

503 Arthur meets Beetlejuice: Arthur summons Beetlejuice to the real world after getting addicted to his show, but BJ takes over the city and only Mario and Mama Luigi can save the day!

504 Super Duper Arthur!: Crossover with Super Duper Sumos. Mr. Ratburn joins B.A.D. Inc., only to be killed by the Super Duper Sumos.

505 and 506: Night of the Living Dummy IIIV: Crossover with Goosebumps. Slappy the Dummy comes to Elwood and rapes Buster.

507 Babes and Bullets: Buster becomes addicted to Grand Theft Audio, and begins to see reality as the game, leaving a bloody path of carnage in his wake.

508 Arthur of Darkness: Crossover with Evil Dead. Elwood City is overrun by deadites, and Ash J. Willaims comes to town to kick some zombie ass!
Bruce campbell bloody

Bruce Campbell says: Kids, never get infected by a zombie virus. Somebody always gets hurt...BY ME!

509 Arthur's Lost Pal: Pal runs away after DW rapes him up the ass, then comes back to exact bloody vengeance.

510 the Hunger: DW becomes addicted to food, and becomes morbidly obese...then turns to cannibalism.

511 Double Arthur: the Brain and Binky become the Double Dragons and fight the Shadow Master.

512 Arthur the Barbarian: Crossover with Thundarr the Barbarian. Arthur and Buster travel to the future and team up with Thundarr, Ookla and Ariel to vanquish the immortal Tom Cruise.

513-517 Lucky Arthur: Crossover with Lucky Star. Arthur and Buster try to "have their way" with Konata and Kagami by taking them on a trip to McDonald's. They are later discovered having a four way in the men's room on Channel 7 News and are arrested for pedophilia.

Season Six

601 Return of the Snowball: DW's snowball returns, and destroys the little bitch.

602 Amish Buster: Buster goes to war with the amish after they destroy his Ipod.

603 She's a Lady (woah,woah,woah!):Brain explores his sexuality by dressing up as a girl and gets gay with Binky all night long.

604 Sweet Daddy Super Badass Arthur: Arthur tries his hand at pimping.

605-608 Arthur's Perfect Christmas: Arthur and his family try to have a perfect Christmas, only to have their house blownup, while Buster accidently kills Santa, the Brain is attacked by the KKK, and Francine's Hanukkah is runied by her dad's incompetence.

609 Goin' Old School: Grandma Thora becomes enemies with 50 Cent when he moves into her neighborhood.

610 Arthur's Jihad: Arthur forms a jihad to destroy FOX for canceling Sit Down, Shut Up!

611 Mean Girls: Francine goes undercover to take down Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, and Zac Efron.

612 Kat Attack: Crossover with Kenny the Shark. Arthur ends up dating Kat, while DW is eaten by Kenny!

613 and 614 Elwood City Turns 100!: The spirits of Elwood City come back to haunt their descendants, and everyone gets killed by Ghost Rider.

Seriously, you were expecting a happy ending with anything with this guy in it?

615 Baby City : Arthur runs around the city chewing on the faces of babies until there are none left.

616 Toddler Delight : Baby Kate gets eaten by Buster while Arthur rapes Muffy in the pussy.

617 Incest Season : Arthur and D.W. Have an ugly red neck baby together and eat it once it get's fat and plump.

618 Pump It Up!: Buster uses steroids to win an athletic competition, but then DW murders his family and steals his fortune for "stealing my moves" .

619 Arthur's Pet: Crossover with Pokemon. Arthur gets his own Pokemon, while DW joins Team Rocket. Guest stars Raichu from Pokemon as Arthur's pet Pokemon and Miltank as DW's Pokemon because she wanted a Pokemon like Mary Moo Cow.

620 Arthur and Francine Make a Porno: Arthur and the gang try to make a porno, but are all raped by Kevin Smith.

621 The Covenant Invasion: Crossover with Halo. The Covenant invades Elwood City, and Master Chief, the Arbiter, Arthur, and his friends save the city before the Covenant renamed the city Covewood City.

Season World War III

Part I: Arthur's Plan: After seeing the Whitest Kids U Know sketch It's Illegal to say..., Arthur wants to start World War III.

Part II: Arthur Starts WWIII: Arthur starts World War III, causing all of the countries of the world to battle each other.

Part III: Destruction of Quahog: Crossover with Family Guy: After Russia launches a nuclear missile, it hits Quahog and the city is destroyed, killing the Griffins.

Part IV: Francine Dies: The French government kills Francine and takes hostages in Arthur's school.

Part V: The Evacuation: The President of the United States orders an evacuation order for Elwood City due to a wave of Japanese planes.

Part VI: The Nuke: Japan launches a nuke to Elwood City.

Part VII: The Explosion: The nuke explodes at Elwood City, destroying the entire city.

Part VIII: The Aftermath: Elwood City is destroyed, and Arthur returns to his house (which was destroyed in the explosion).

Part IX: The End of World War III: The President causes World War III to end, making the battle stop.

Part X: The Finale: The Reconstruction. Quahog and Elwood City, the only United States cities that were destroyed in the war, began reconstruction. The end of the episode shows everyone at school attending Francine's funeral.

Season Seven

701-704 the Prince of Elwood: Arthur and the gang parody the Prince of Egypt. Features Arthur (voiced by Zac Efron) and DW (voiced by Samuel L. Jackson) singing Plagues (Let My People Go).

705 Water and the Brain: Brain takes a piss in Muffy's pool and blames Buster.

706 He's Friends on the Other Side: George imagines that he has an assload of friends.

One of George's imaginary friends

707 Arthur's Almost Live Not Real Music Festival: Arthur and the Gang make music videos, and are sued for copyright infringment. List of songs in the episode:

  • Arthur-Hellfire (AKA Frollo Sings to Himself and Becomes Mentally Unstable)
  • Brain and Binky-If I Never Knew You
  • Francine and Muffy-Uncle Fucker
  • Buster-Baby Got Back
  • Mister Haney and Mister Ratburn-Boom Boom Boom Boom (I Want You in my Room)
  • DW- In The Dark of The Night
  • Nadine - I'm A Scatman
  • Arthur's Gang and the Tough Customers: Savages!

708 Muffy gets Mature: Muffy gets her first period.

709 Arthur Goes Digital: Crossover with Tron. Arthur teams up with Tron to stop DW and Master Control Program from deleting all the porn on the internet.

710-713 Promise of the Rose: An obsessed alien comes to Earth to get gay with Buster, and Arthur teams up with Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts to save him, while Arthur's dad rapes Tuxedo Mask and Francine has a gay moment with Sailor Jupiter.

Season Eight

801 Elwood X: Arthur and the gang discover they have superpowers, and dedicate to use them to battle George Bush and the Republicans.

802 Street Justice: Arthur and Buster go on a vigilante crusade against crime, maiming and killing various bystanders in the process.

803 Arthur the Bounty Hunter: Arthur becomes a Bounty Hunter and goes after his mom for skipping bail.

804 Arthur meets Dracula: Dracula comes to Elwood and has sex with every woman in town, as well as Arthur and Muffy's dads.

805-06 Strangers on a Train: Sue Ellen finds love on a train with Britney Spears.

807-10 Tales from the Crib: Crossover with Tales from the Crypt. The Cryptkeeper tells torrid tales about the gang while beating the shit out of Binky. Stories include:

  • the Mask of Horror: Arthur buys a possesed mask and thinks he's Richard Nixon.
  • Daddy Lost His Head: DW accidentaly decapitates her father, and tries to frame Baby Kate for it.
  • By the Fright of the Silvery Moon: the Brain and Muffy get raped by a werewolf, who turns out to be Francine.
  • Murder Dream: Mr. Ratburn dreams he killed his entire class...but is it a dream? No.

    the Crypt Keeper enjoying making Binky sing "My Milkshakes" naked.

811 Bonkers and the Doom of Friends: This is one of the Non-Arthur episodes with Bonkers and Toots going on mindless adventures saving the Wildberry Princess but it keeps going downhill when Lucky Piquel rapes the fuck out their balls with too much kidney stone puns.

812 Kung Fool: Crossover with Kung Fu: the Legend Continues. Sue Ellen's family is killed by the Tough Customers, and she is trained by Kwai Chang Caine and his son Peter. Sue Ellen then brutally kills the Tough Customers, but spares Molly, who she then brutally rapes.

813 Arthur solves the OJ Case: Arthur befriends OJ Simpson, and vows to clear his name. It turns out the real killer was Grandma Thora, who OJ owed money to, but since he didn't pay her, the old bitch framed him for murder.

814 Attack of the Trubo Tibbles: Crossover with Power Rangers. The Tibbles are turned into monsters by Rita Repulsa and are slaughtered by the Power Rangers.

Season Nine

901 the Blizzard: Elwood City is hit by a blizzard, and the only way to appease it is to sacrifice Muffy.

902 Francine Goes to War: Francine goes to war with a group of neo-Nazis.

903 Prunella's Special Edition: Prunella gets a copy of the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, while Arthur and Buster sing "What the Fuck was That?!".

904 DW Blows the Whistle: DW tattles on her teacher for being a pedophile.

DW's teacher, played by Gary Glitter in his character's only appearance.

905-06 Brain's Shocking Secret: Arthur discovers that Brain is an alien emissary who is trying to force people to stop acting like assholes, or his people will blow up the Earth.

907 Rhyme for Your Life: Francine enters a rap battle with Eminem.

908 Arthur and the Big Riddle: Arthur battles the Riddler.

909 My Music Rules: Arthur and DW clash over whose music is better, and Arthur ends up slaughtering his sister. Featuring "the Touch" by Stan Bush

910 the Blackout: Muffy's dad is murdered during a blackout, and Arthur and Buster vow to find out who did it.

911 Arthur the Wrecker: Crossover with Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad. Arthur breaks his family's computer, and freed Kilokahn, then he, Buster, Francine, and the Brain become the new Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad, and demolish the city, killing millions of people.

912 the Last of Mary Moo Cow: Arthur slays Mary Moo Cow.

913-914 Iron Arthur: Crossover with Iron Man. DW steals one of Iron Man's armors and goes on a rampage to destroy every G.I. Joe action figure in the world, with help from the Mandarin and his goons, but is later killed by War Machine.

Season Ten

1001 DW Thinks Big: DW becomes a 50 foot giant and fights Godzillawho rapes her at the end of the fight.

The result of DW and Godzilla's fight. 543 people died in the explosion.

1002 Arthur's New Millennium: Crossover with Millennium. Arthur teams up with Frank Black to solve Mr. Ratburn's murder.

1003 Mr. Ratburn Finds a Girlfriend: Mr. Ratburn goes into a garden store and finds some hos. One of them is D.W.

1004 Arthur's Hangover: Arthur, Buster, and the Brain wake up one morining with no memory of what happened, and learn that they had a pretty wild night.

1005 Toy Story 4?: Arthur pretends to be like the homosexual version of Little Red Riding Whore while celebrating 14 years of the the Toy Story Stuff but gets raped out of nowhere by 3 Little Pigs (That are midgets) and blow down their own houses while making Binky watch The Real Toy Story 4 called Toyota Story. It all ends up when 3 tanked bears burn down Gamelon and Arthur and his friends nuke the island in Canada where the bears live. Miracles return to Elwood and Francine gets fucking addicted to diamond methgarettes.

1006 Do Anything for Metal: Crossover with Metalocacolpsye. Arthur forms his own death metal band and competes with Deathklok.

Arthur vs. Oswald: After failing to kill John F. Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald destroys Elwood City to kill Arthur and Buster.

1007 DW Tricks the Tooth Fairy: DW cons the Tooth Fairy, and winds up with tooth cancer.

1008 Mom and Dad have a Big Fight: Arthur's mom and dad beat the shit out of each other, and are arrested while Arthur and DW go to a foster home.

1009 MacFrensky: Francine discovers her real father is MacGyver.

1010 Let It Be Grzabi: A Parody of Sengoku Basara and Bakugan Combined features Arthur Planning to Kill Grandpa Dave's Mother; Lade with Napalm but winds up like Fruity Yummy Mummy's're right, I have no idea what this means, either.

1011 Into the Jungle: Crossover with the Jungle Book; DW attempts to steal a treasure in the jungle, but gets killed by Kaa.

1012 Buster the Myth Maker: Buster spreads lies across Elwood City, and is beaten up by the MythBusters.

1013 Francine's Big Top Trouble: Francine runs away and joins the circus,where she becomes involved with a clown named Bobo, but Bobo's wife, Jeannete the strongwoman, plots to kill them by feeding them to the cannibal gorilla, but gets eaten instead.

1014 Arthur and Los Vecinos: Arthur helps illegal immigrants escape to Florida.

1015 Just Desserts: Crossover with the Fairly OddParents. Timmy wishes that all the food in Elwood City was dessert, so their football team would get fat and lose the game with Dimmsdale's team, but then remembers that Trixie Tang was vacationing there, and she got fat too.

1016 the Sorcerer's Apprentice: Arthur learns dark magic from David Copperfield.

1017 Buster seeks Help: After Buster beats up his Mother, he decides to seek help from a therapist.

1018 It Came from Beyond!: Arthur and his friends battle an alien invader.

1019 Castaway: Arthur, Buster, the Brain, and George are stranded on a desert island, and must learn to fend for themselves, and enjoy many nights of passion.

1020: Return of the King: Elvis Presley comes back to life to save Elwood City from an army of flesh eating goth kids.

1021: The Secret Guardians: Crossover with National Treasure and the DaVinci Code. Arthur and Buster discover that the Illuminati secretly control Elwood City, and team up with Ben Gates and Robert Langdon to destroy the group once and for all.

1022: Sleep No More: Francine thinks sleep is too much work for her, So she decides to stay up for the rest of her life so she can get killed by I.M. Meen.

1023-24: April 9th: A Pulp Fiction-esq story involving many misadventures on April ninth:

  • Arthur and Buster: Arthur and Buster go on the run after insulting a mob boss.
  • DW and the Tibble Twins: DW rescues a hooker from her abusive pimp, only to see her steal from and then kill the Tibbles.
  • Francine: Francince has to deliever a letter to the same mob boss hunting Arthur and Buster while avoiding the cops.
  • the Brain: the Brain hunts down the Tough Customers after they destroy his science project and kill the woman he loved.
  • Binky, Muffy, and Fern: Binky, hiding from the Brain, takes Muffy and Fern hostage, and threatens to kill them unless Brain gives up his quest for vengeance.

1025 The Chips are Down: DW eats a chip that turns her into a Black Lantern.

1025 Revenge of the Chip: Black Lantern DW comes back to exact revenge on potato chips everywhere after what happened last episode.

1026 iArthur: Crossover with iCarly. Arthur and Buster steal ideas from iCarly and are beaten to death by Carly and Sam.

1027 Arthur the Adventurer: Crossover with Conan the Barbarian. A freak time travel mishap swaps Arthur and Conan in the other's time period. While Arthur proves to be a terrible barbarian, Conan takes over Elwood City, and slaughters those who dare stand in his way.

1028-29 Arthur in the Dark: In a special episode directed by M. Night Shyamalan, Arthur and the gang are locked in the school at night, and discover what happened to the school janitor, Mr. Morris.

1030 Brother Can You Spare a Clarinet?: Arthur, Binky and Jane Read become bums with King Dedede After thinking they have killed Al McWhiggin after watching Toy Story 2: Durr-ectors Cut.

1032 Who Ya Gonna Call?: Crossover with Ghostbusters. When their house is possesed by the spirit of Dr. Robotnik, Arthur's family calls Ghostbusters to deal with him, only to have their house destroyed in the process. In a subplot, Pal and Slimer fall in love and go on a date.

1033-35 Detective Fern: Crossover with Case Closed, written by Stephen King. Arthur and Fern join with Conan Edogowa to solve the mystery of who killed Paula Abdul, while Buster attempts to have his way with Rachel and gets his ass kicked.

1036-37 Arthur Gets Lost (aka Arthur, Get Lost!): When Arthur accidentally sets his house on fire, his neglectful parents kick him out and make him live on the side of the road where he gets chased onto the road by a pack of wild Dingoes and gets hit by a mentally ill runaway bus escaping from the Funny Farm.

1038-42 Wake Up the Hero: Crossover with Masked Rider. Arthur and Buster team up with Masked Rider to save Elwood City from Dick Cheney's rampaing gun monster. Several major charcters, such as Arthur's parents, Mr. Haney, the Tough Customers, and Borat are killed in the fight, and Masked Rider denies his involvement in the massacre, thus leaving Arthur and Buster to take the heat.

Season 11: The Final Challenge

1101-02 Prelude to the Finale: SERIES SEMIFINALE. Arthur gets disturbing visions fortelling the end of the world. He soon learns that others across the world have been getting the same visions, and Goku reveals that they are destined to save the world from the hunger of Roseanne by using the Dragonballs to defeat the Devourer of Worlds.

1103-1133 Arthur Ball Z:SERIES FINALE. Multicrossover with Family Matters, Family Guy, Everybody Hates Chris, The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air, Phineas and Ferb, Pokemon (Show), Ojamajo Doremi, T.U.F.F. Puppy, All Grown Up!, Samurai Jack, The Simpsons and Dragon Ball Z, guest starring the Harlem Globetrotters and the ghost of Don Knotts . Arthur and the Gang team up with the Z Warriors and all those other characters from those other shows and head to Namek to stop Rush Limbaugh, Barbra Streisand, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Angelica Pickles and Freeza from taking the Dragonballs. In various subplots, Isabella's body is stolen by Captain Ginyu so he can fulfill his pedophilac dreams of being in a little girl's body, Arthur and Buster fight Vegta, Urkel discovers his destiny to save the universe from Oprah Winfrey's ever expanding ass, Ash, Phineas, Hana-chan, and Dawn attempt to fight Lady Gaga from taking over Philadelphia, and end up resurrecting Misty from Bowser, who then decapitates Ferb and Brock, Bart goes Super Sayian, and Peter, Brian, Carl, Homer, and Dudley revive the legendary warrior, Chuck Norris to fight the Ginyu Force. Meanwhile, Hana-chan kills Justin Bieber and 4Kids. The series ends with Arthur and Buster professing their love for one another, and kissing just as the Osama/Barbra/Saddam/Limbuagh Monster blows up with the rest of Namek, and the heroes return to Earth, where Urkel, Bart, and Dudley lose their virginity to cheerleaders and Jessica Simpson, resulting in an all-out orgy with Ash and Misty, and Hana-chan dissolving into thin air. Featuring "Dragon Soul" by Sean Schemmel and Vic Migonoga.

Goku teaches Arthur how to perform the Golden Shower of Doom on Freeza, a move one can only learn from Master R.Kelly.


Arthur: By the Power of Greyskull!: Crossover with He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Mary Moo Cow teams up with Skeletor to take over Eternia, So He-Man turns to the Sorceress of Castle Greyskull to recruit Arthur and the Gang to help the Masters of the Universe defeat the evil cow. During the movie, Binky enters a relationship with Orko, Ram-Man explores his own homosexuality with the Brain, Beast Man, Triclops, Whiplash and Merman get castrated by DW for their diffince to Mary Moo Cow and Arthur learns the way of the warrior from He-Man, which he later uses on Buster when they're in bed together.

Arthur saves Pal: Pal is kidnapped by Arthur's old nemesis, Carl Rove, Arthur and the Gang must journey to LA to save him from being Rove's animal sacrifice to the dark god, Naomi Campbell.

Arthur on the Titanic: A second Titanic is built, and the gang goes aboard. Once there, Arthur falls in love with Leonardo DiCaprio, and the two engage in a very sexual relationship, but Buster gets jealous, and history reapeats itself when he rams the boat into an iceberg to commit a mass murder. Leo dies, Fritz the Rapping Dog get raped by Arsenio Hall, and Buster is beaten up by Aquaman, then given the death sentence. Featuring "My Heart Will Go On", by Celine Dion.

Arthur goes to Japan: Arthur and the family win a trip to Japan, where DW angers the goddess of Japan, Hello Kitty, and is made to be her sacrifice, while Arthur engages the Yakuza in a Gundam fight.
ZZ Gundam Punch

Arthur using his Gundam to destroy his school on mystery meat day

Arthur's Grand-Ass Adventure: A Crossover with Pooh's Most Grand Adventure, The Trap Door and Turtles Forever.

Arthur meets the Winx Club: Arthur battles the Winx Club when they plan destroy every My Little Pony in order wipe out the competition.

Arthur: Return to Cimmera: Another crossover with Conan the Barbarian. Wrath-Amon travels thru time to Elwood City to unleash his master, Set, with Mr. Ratburn's help, so Arthur and the gang team up with Conan and his team to battle them. Wrath-Amon is killed when Arthur chops off his dick and shoves it down his throat.

Arthur Read and the Pizza Order in Phoenix: Crossover with Harry Potter. Arthur, while visiting Phoenix, Arizona, decides to order a pizza. When the pizza arrives, it turns out that Harry Potter is the new Pizza Delivery Boy. When he opens the box, he finds out that the pizza came with some pea soup from The Leaky Cauldron. Since Arthur does not like pea soup, he decides to eat just the pizza. Arthur's memorial was one week later.

Arthur Makes a Movie: When D.W. is invited to a premiere of Mary Moo Cow meets Dr. Rabbit, Arthur and friends make a snuff film, killing the Tough Customers, annoying the crap out of Lady Gaga, stealing the Holy Grail and drugging Clarissa the doll, all while singing Bad Romance, take their film with them on an epic road trip, go to Guantanamo Bay where Mary Moo Cow is incarcerated, kill her, destroy the Mary Moo Cow film and project their snuff film at the premiere instead.

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Arthur is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.

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