“This shit is bananas!”
“I'm Oscar!!! Dot com.”
Arrested Development is an American television sitcom created by Mitchell Hurwitz for the Fox Broadcasting Company. It was the best show on television until it was canceled by the fucking idiots at Fox because they felt an even bigger number of fucking idiots weren't watching the show. The short-lived sitcom was about a dysfunctional family involved in real estate. It was canceled in its prime to make room for better written comedies, like American Idol and Fox News Channel. Specifically, FOX plans to replace Arrested Development with a reality show where women compete for a bachelor's hand in marriage, who is secretly a mammoth seal. Despite poor ratings and quick cancellation, it won over 9000 awards, as most critics stated that it was better than most of the baloney on television. It featured such themes as company fraud, family issues, incest, ambiguous homosexuality, loose seals, Lucilles, racial puppetry, frozen banana treats, and stews. For this reason, the Catholic Church voted it 'Best Show Ever.'
- Michael "Michael" Bluth: The star of the show and only sane member of the family. He had the burden of keeping the family together while maintaining a nice haircut.
- George Michael "The Bluthneizer" Bluth: Michael's loser son. In a typical episode, George Michael would secretly masturbate to pictures of his cousin Maeby. Little did he know, uncle Tobias would always be hiding in the closet watching him.
- George Bluth: The father of Michael and his brothers. After escaping prison, he would spend all of his time in the Bluths' attic with his stash of dead bodies, including Michael's wife.
- Benson Lewis Oscar Wilde Jeffrey Oprah "BLOW JOB" Bluth: Also known as G.O.B. Michael's older brother and former magician/stripper. He would do magic tricks with his body, until he drove audiences away with his "rabbit trick". Afterwards he spent his afternoons with his hand up Franklin's butt.
- Oedipus "Buster" Bluth: Michael's youngest brother, the pirate of the family, yet paradoxally the biggest mama's boy that ever walked the face of the earth. Lusting after his own mother Lucille, he created a sex robot in her exact image: Lucille 2.0.
- Tobias Foon-Gay: Analrapist and wannabe actor and singer of the Blues. He would never, ever be naked because he was severely insecure about "Little Tobias."
- Little Tobias: Tobias' penis, who had a regular speaking role on AD. He was most famous for saying what Tobias never said, thinking what Tobias never thought, and scoring when Tobias never could.
- Franklin Delano Judge "Mr. F" Bluth: A black puppet who George Bush doesn't care about. He despises everyone else in the family except for Maeby, who he secretly loves. After discovering that George Michael feels the same way he frequently attempts to eliminate him.
- Lesbian Foon-Gay: Michael's twin sister, until she isn't.
- Steve "STEVE HOLT!" Holt: "STEVE HOLT!"
- Ann Veal:
The G4 network first had the syndication rights to the show. They would show it whenever the hell they felt like it because giving it a set daily timeslot was too difficult. But they would rerun non-Emmy award winning shows like Cops and Cheaters 50 times a day for your viewing pleasure. Thankfully the Independent Film Channel (IFC) bought the rights to the show and show two back to back episodes twice a week...and Fox still sucks.
On the next Arrested Development...
- ↑ Her?