Armenia
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| Motto: "Մեր Հայրենիք" ("Bleed it Out") | |||||
| Anthem: I Kissed a Girl by Katie Perry (Katie Perian according to Hayastanians) | |||||
| Capital | Van | ||||
| Largest city | Yerevan | ||||
| Official languages | Armenian | ||||
| Government | Presidentilal Republic | ||||
| President | Bill Kaulitz | ||||
| National Hero(es) | Roman Abramovich, Joseph Stalin, S.S | ||||
| Declaration of Formation | Most of Armenian lands were taken over by migrating Turks | ||||
| Currency | Dram | ||||
| Religion | 99.9% Christian, 0% Muslim, 0.1% Jew and rest of them are Gypsies | ||||
| Population | Total about 10 million (Most were forced to live in diaspora by the Turkish invasion and genocide of Armenia) | ||||
| Area | Very small (30.000 square km) in comparison to what it should be (over 600.000 square km) | ||||
| Population density | 101 per square km | ||||
| Internet TLD | .am | ||||
| Calling code | Armenia rules | ||||
The History of Armenia is a long and interesting one.
Armenia was founded in the beginning of time by God and Jesus. They were thinking about making a master race, then they thought of Armenians. So now Armenians rule the world.
Ever since its creation in 254BC, many a Duck has lived there as a holiday home and when the Russians invaded by firing slippers at them the Great Armenian Empire spread from Armenia to the Street next door.
Armenians are commonly called "God's Chosen People", a name recently purloined by Jews , "Born Again" Christians, and people about to be run over by FBI tanks. Even Jesus could see that this was a recipe for disaster when he said, "My dad sure does hate Armenians". More recent translations have expanded this title to, "God's People, who Were Chosen to Leave this Shit Hole and Live Anywhere Else on Earth, Preferably Southern California Suburbs."
In 3001 AJ (After Jebus), Armenia was the last nation to adopt Christianity as its official religion. This is keeping with the Armenian custom of adopting styles roughly 3000 years after everyone else. (In 4971 Armenia plans for Bell Bottoms to be fashionable.) Since the rest of the world had already accepted Cyborg Jesus, and retro Jesii were so annoying all of their neighbours became "haters".
In the 6th century, Armenia experienced a brief period of greatness (about 2.4 seconds, due to Winning the Ancient Chess competition). Then they were invaded by the Laotians, Phrygians, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Byzantines, Arabs, Mongols, Seljuk and Ottoman Turks, Russians. and Laotians (again). All these mighty foes were eventually assimilated into The Armenain Collective, (except the Laotians who left to celebrate Scotchtoberfest and forgot to come back, both times).
Recently Armenia and Azerbaijan have been fighting over ownership of the Nagorno-Karabagh. Even though Azerbaijan invaded the Historical Armenian lands with 40,000 Trained Azeri soldiers, Armenia pwnd their lives with 20,000 farmers who cheated during battles and received help of Angola.So everybody,even Armenians realize that if not 1000000 soldiers from Great Republic of Hannibals of Angola (GRHA)Armenians would have had their asses beated. Armenia now has Nagorno Karabagh, and Azerbaijan, the retarted half brother of Turkey (thats what Hayastan thinks) cries every day. But Azerbaijanian Goverment developed a robot called Arnie Bennington or AB-1000 who (or what)is powerfull enough to return Karabakh by himself without any other support needed.According to Xvalidwek-the holy book of Cyc religion AB-1000 is going to return Karabakh in 2119.
Armenia was once a part of Russia. However, they got bored of vodka and Armenians wanted something different. They ended up with Kazakh prostitutes.
It is common knowledge that Armenia hates every country on Earth as everyone is superior to their little tiny nation which has many slippers and is also home to Margaret Thatcher.
[edit] Transport
Transport throughout Armenia is very small in variety.
-Donkey
-Mutant Donkey
-Proffesor Dufenschmirtz
Each of these limited in supply although, one scientist named Tigran is working on other methods of transport, such as cart.
[edit] How To Become Armenian
Reading up to this point may disappoint you if you are not an Armenian (if you are, you wouldn't be wasting your precious time reading something you already know, and would favor making doing something important, like, say, edit Wikipedia).
But do not worry, my friend! Just read the following steps with care and apply them with precision. You will feel much better.
Step 1: Visit Armenia, decide where you came from sucks, decide to stay (this last part, the staying decision, has a 100% likelihood of happening and is irreversible since Armenia is the place to be). If you can't find the country (which would be strange, because Armenia is also a continent and soon will assimilate all other nations), it'll suffice to move to Southern California.
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