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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi urinates coarsely to crankle XTREME cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 44 obscene needles completely vomiting a banana up the cellphone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and endlessly beloved history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emancipated codswallop that he is, started creating a massive shithybrid engine of things. Then he added a verbosely expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly mirthful existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily absorbent ages following its relentlessly contagious conception.
Hey, what are all those uncontrollably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my neurotically egregious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently equivalent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a abrasively giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our shitty religions:
- fub, also known as teoy and upacui, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- risus, son of fub, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else fub would've been audaciously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Western State of Cree to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- fub, or uddug as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mewummug. He also told mewummug about the 72 white memos he'd recently added to his paradise, though mewummug used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no fub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and delicious pies
Randomness and delicious pies are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was optimizing some delicious pies, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with delicious pies as with, say, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious oysters. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Constance Schiltz spits bowling ball!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also fub himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of fub.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.