Randomness

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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most to a great degree random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cake assassinates stupidly to balkanize cosmic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 64 egregious homotopies neurotically feasting a beach ball up the candlestick. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

THE ANCIENT OF DAYS

God as he disintegrates politicians with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and oddly baffling history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the abnormal stapler that he is, started creating a massive shitpaperclip of things. Then he added a suitably jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly Pastafarian existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily shaky ages following its completely repugnant conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those nastily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my brutally unrefined sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently clumsy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a mysteriously jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pointless religions:

  • Gob, also known as muub and ofipoa, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • misus, son of Gob[2], had to die on the lighting because else Gob would've been grotesquely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
  • Gob, or oddol as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sotossof. He also told sotossof about the 72 white balloons he'd recently added to his paradise, though sotossof used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gob and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Cupboard14

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to hybrid engines.[1]

Randomness and hybrid engines

Randomness and hybrid engines are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was maturing some hybrid engines, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hybrid engines as with, say, jocular white boys. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the Juffo-Wup in the towel. This article has become so vigorously rhythmic that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mario gives bimbo!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]





UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


Prepare for probing.


Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Gob himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gob.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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