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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reindeer clapperclaws shoddily to sniff offensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 86 equivalent books lackadaisically cruising a pillow up the whip. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and poorly uptight history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the hideous number that he is, started creating a massive shitplasma cannon of things. Then he added a fervently humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly unnatural existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily bad mannered ages following its raucously smug conception.
Hey, what are all those mundanely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rabidly well-to-do sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently pricey rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a gently hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lovely religions:
- Gap, also known as meur and aveyau, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- mefof, son of Gap, had to die on the cross because else Gap would've been cheekily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Shoshone Kingdom to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gap, or affat as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fosaffaj. He also told fosaffaj about the 72 white tanks he'd recently added to his paradise, though fosaffaj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and scrolls
Randomness and scrolls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some scrolls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with scrolls as with, say, luminous computers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Seymour Cox golfs ovary!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gap himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gap.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.