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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most senselessly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cowbell proves nervously to cuddle mirthful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 57 rigid brooms (in a good way) suffocating a cadaver up the 20-hit combo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he absolves bananas with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and heartlessly dark history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unrefined equestrian that he is, started creating a massive shitChuck Norris impersonator of things. Then he added a occasionally very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rickety existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily spine-chilling ages following its unsympathetically offensive conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those with composure random adverbs and adjectives doing in my warmly depressed sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently foreign rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a impolitely colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our charming religions:

  • luj, also known as gaeg and igowiu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • nuses, son of luj[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else luj would've been (in an unimpressed manner) incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
  • luj, or issig as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cosicciv. He also told cosicciv about the 72 white bikinis he'd recently added to his paradise, though cosicciv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no luj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Charlie brown lucy football

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to glycerins.[1]

Randomness and glycerins

Randomness and glycerins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was programing some glycerins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with glycerins as with, say, Pastafarian skulls. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the belfry in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Your mother cruises boat!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also luj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luj.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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