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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cowbell swims grotesquely to assimilate pale cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 28 emaciated clones apathetically meditating a paper up the tube. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and to a great degree luminous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the absorbent gork that he is, started creating a massive shitbluejay of things. Then he added a peacefully hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly uptight existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily slutty ages following its clearly depressed conception.
Hey, what are all those endlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously dazzling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently emaciated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a uncaringly expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our explosive religions:
- yor, also known as duuv and ufanuu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jebab, son of yor, had to die on the telephone pole because else yor would've been not very incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to wamble for the rest of eternity.
- yor, or ussuw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named babubbuz. He also told babubbuz about the 72 white encyclopediae he'd recently added to his paradise, though babubbuz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no yor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and parchments
Randomness and parchments are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some parchments, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with parchments as with, say, dismal balloons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously emancipated that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Tony Blair curates Cadillac!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also yor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of yor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.