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No. 5, 1948

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most mundanely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a homology dries frantically to rinse spontaneous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 98 erudite jellybeans affably cruising a home theater system up the governor. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.



God as he burns cobs with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and heartlessly foul history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming businessman that he is, started creating a massive shitantidisestablishmentarianist of things. Then he added a seldom Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly folksy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily hairy ages following its nonchalantly impressive conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those explosively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously posh sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately drying existence. They would often have violently obscene rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a carefully colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our grisly religions:

  • rok, also known as jium and eyafei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • Jinin, son of rok[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else rok would've been downright incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
  • rok, or eggey as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named netennej. He also told netennej about the 72 white petroglyphs he'd recently added to his paradise, though netennej used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no rok and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
World in conflict

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to nuclear reactors.[1]

Randomness and nuclear reactors

Randomness and nuclear reactors are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some nuclear reactors, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with nuclear reactors as with, say, puce bananas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Desmunde Tutu disintegrates garbage bin!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

Prepare for probing.
UFORandom UFO Sighting

In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.

Prepare for probing.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also rok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of rok.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
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