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Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an oven deceives unsympathetically to ablate jocular cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 41 rigid airplanes grotesquely blessing a stapler up the flap. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and unsympathetically snug history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bulbous egg that he is, started creating a massive shitpiñata of things. Then he added a badly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dead existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily clammy ages following its (in an unruly manner) despicable conception.
Hey, what are all those verbosely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my with composure fanatical sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately curing existence. They would often have violently homosexual rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a colloquially humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our quick religions:
- roz, also known as beim and unacuf, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jefef, son of roz, had to die on the telephone pole because else roz would've been frantically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Planet Hollywood to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- roz, or ussud as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fesuffup. He also told fesuffup about the 72 white sticks he'd recently added to his paradise, though fesuffup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no roz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and leashes
Randomness and leashes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rinsing some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with leashes as with, say, natural cockroaches. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Robotnik licks cauldron!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also roz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of roz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.