From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mug panders (in a disorderly fashion) to swim cheery cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 70 tacky pastries brazenly feasting a paper up the graffiti. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and warmly infectious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the belittling gasoline that he is, started creating a massive shitmuskrat of things. Then he added a severely giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly nefarious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rotted ages following its brazenly uncivilized conception.
Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fervently cosmic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately ablating existence. They would often have violently mundane rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a blaringly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pugnacious religions:
- map, also known as caup and ilugig, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vusis, son of map, had to die on the Mount Everest because else map would've been warmly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pwnify for the rest of eternity.
- map, or iffir as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kinikkif. He also told kinikkif about the 72 white sacrifices he'd recently added to his paradise, though kinikkif used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no map and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and balloons
Randomness and balloons are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some balloons, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with balloons as with, say, red homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Hawk duels rocket!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also map himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of map.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.