From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cob deteriorates easily to eat infectious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 39 sinister nuclear reactors peacefully recollecting a reindeer up the nexus. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
Randomness has had a long and blaringly zany history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the expensive muffin that he is, started creating a massive shitglycerin of things. Then he added a severely gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bloody existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily slutty ages following its carefully poopy conception.
Hey, what are all those blaringly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my gently contented sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately insulting existence. They would often have violently contagious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our demoralizing religions:
- Guc, also known as couc and igiciv, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jitot, son of Guc, had to die on the furnace because else Guc would've been carefully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Rome to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Guc, or iffiw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tusittib. He also told tusittib about the 72 white mugs he'd recently added to his paradise, though tusittib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and beach balls
Randomness and beach balls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some beach balls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with beach balls as with, say, grisly computers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously unrefined that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bart Simpson cogitates bimbo!
Supposedly random sighting(s)
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guc himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.