Arctic War (video game)
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
*Booting up Arctic/Server*
*Game starting in 10 seconds*
*CommieLand has entered the game*
CommieLand: in soviet russia, game joins you!
CommieLand: fuck, where is everybody???
*CanaDuh has entered the game*
CanaDuh: ummm, what do you think your doing commie?
CommieLand: I'm claiming territory in the name of russia!
CanaDuh: the arctic is neutral territory you fukin noob, don't take anymore
CommieLand: fuck off, i'll take what ever i want in the name of soviet russia!
CanaDuh: fine, if thats how the game is gonna be played...
*CanaDuh has captured the North West Passage*
CommieLand: fine, do what ever the hell you want, i don't give a crap.
*FreedomLand has entered the game*
*PatryBoi has entered the game*
*WegianCheese has entered the game*
CommieLand: whats with all the newbies?
FreedomLand: shut the fuck up, I'm not a newbie. I've been playing longer then you ass hole.
CommieLand: not long enough to think of a good name and you need to steal mine.
FreedomLand: i didn't steal your name, you stole my name! Your pretty good at stealing stuff, remember?
CommieLand: lol, are you still pissed I stole your precious nukes? haha.
CanaDuh: what are you doing here FreedomLand?
FreedomLand: um, lolz, I respect you 'right to claim the arctic region', and I 'wish to help you'.
CommieLand: lmao, you mean you want oil.
FreedomLand: fuck off, no I don't.
CommieLand: You fuck off
FreedomLand: you fuck off more
CommieLand: You fuck off the most
FreedomLand: you fuck off forever
PastryBoi: shit, SHUT UP!
CommieLand: shut up, your just Freedom's bitch Canada
CanaDuh: no I'm not, get the hell out of here or Ill pwn your ass
FreedomLand: lol, yeah, you tell him. Just give the North West Passage back to neutral stance CanaDuh and we'll help joo from this noob.
CanaDuh: no way Freedom, i needz this territory to protect my borders from terrorists
FreedomLand: when the hell have you ever disobeyed me? Stop bitching and make it neutral before I go all international on your ass
CommieLand: lolz, Freedom is pmsing
FreedomLand: no one asked you, noob!
*Admin has entered the game*
*Coffee has entered the game*
CanaDuh: the north west passage is mine
Admin: is it within 200 nautical miles within ur land?
Admin: then the waters yours.
FreedomLand: wtf thats not fair, i want it
CanaDuh: i thought you said you wanted it to be neutral
*FreedomLand has left the game*
PastryBoi: lolz, busted.
CanaDuh: lolz, can u leave Hans island alone plox?
PastryBoi: Fuck no! Hans is mine noob!
CanaDuh: Ah, wtf! Stop that u noob!
WegianCheese: rofl, it's just an island!
CanaDuh: So is Svalberd!
PastryBoi: Stop being mean to mah fellow scandinavian!
PastryBoi: lol, whatcha going to do now u stupid canuck?
CanaDuh: Fuck joo up teh a$$!
*CanaDuh has reclaimed Hans Island*
CommieLand: lulz what a waste of time
You mean it ISN'T just polar bears and eskimos?
*CommieLand has launched sea expedition. Gained 5o experience and 15+ intelligent*
CommieLand: ha, look at dis. i checked the server and apparently the Lomonosov Ridge attaches my country to the north pole! i hear by claim the north pole in the name of soviet russia! praise communism!
PastryBoi: ummm, dats not fair. That ridge also connects my territory to the North pole so shouldn't I get some to?
CommieLand: lmao, no one gives a fuck about you pastry, get the hell out or ill invade your ass
PastryBoi: omg, your so mean, i just started playing give me a break
CommieLand: ummmm how about no?
Admin: stop being abusive Russia or Ill kick you out of the server
CommieLand: I'm russian! All I know is being abusive! See, look!
PastryBoi: owww, please don't I only have 23 health points.
CommieLand: haha, loser.
Admin: I said STOP russia! Last warning!
CommieLand: wat ever, i just wanted him to know i could crush him with one simple attack. pathetic.
PastryBoi: ow, my pride.
*CommieLands expedition collects oil and diamonds!*
CommieLand: wow, wat the hell?
PastryBoi: omg, stop taking stuff from the arctic you dont own it!
CommieLand: SHUT UP! I just discovered a jack pot!
*FreedomLand has entered the game*
FreedomLand: is that precious, tasty oil?
CommieLand: id thought you'd come running at the mention of oil. yup, and its all miiiiiine!
FreedomLand: give me some!
PastryBoi: dont forget me, please?
*Aussie has entered the game*
Aussie: stop stealing my credit freedom!
FreedomLand: wtf, stop stalking my homo. ur still pissed about ww2 and how i did all the shit you were suppose to?
Aussie: FUCK YOU, MATE!
*CanaDuh is no longer idle*
*WegianCheese is no longer idle*
CommieLand: damn it, you ass holes! it's mine! back off, kay?
CanaDuh: it's not yours, it's mine!
WegianCheese: actually if you pull up your toolbar and look at the map Russia does have some claim
CanaDuh: shut up your not helping
PastryBoi: omgz, u guys, please can i have some? ineed to level up...
FreedomLand: you all suck it's mine.
CommieLand: moron you aren't even close to the arctic, even with alaska.
CanaDuh: yea and you ahven't even downloaded the Laws of the Sea expansion pack yet, lmao, so you cant claim anything.
FreedomLand: I W1LL H4XSORS DIS GAM DEN!1!!?!
Admin: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!
Coffee: yeah, c'mon guys. lets settle this peacefully.
*FreedomLand tranfers funds to Coffee*
Coffee: CanaDuh, give the North west passage to Freedom.
CanaDuh: No fucking way n00b!!
Coffee: Fuck, they said no, what do i do noW?
FreedomLand:omfg, u suck!
Admin:ya, srsly, gtfo!
*Coffee has left the game.*
*Monkey Boone has entered the game.*
Monkey Boone: lol, wadup?
PastryBoi: hai noob
CanaDuh:Hai, can I keep teh North-west passage?
Monkey Boone: ya sure.
FreedomLand: omfg I wasted all my funds on joo! u fucking hax0rs.
Monkey Boone: 2 fucking bad
*FreedomLand has left the game*
The World Takes Notice
*Uber Union has entered the game*
WegianCheese: Fuck, whaat the hell do u guys want?
PastryBoi: lol, hey guys! Tell these noobs the arctic belongs to me!
Uber Union: Actually we want to make sure that everyone respects each other and that this r be settled peacefully
Admin: fuck u, that's mah job!
Uber Union: Ya, well, u suck.
*FreedomLand has entered the game*
FreedomLand: Yo uber dudes... tell canduh the North-west passge r nuetral!
Uber Union: k
CanaDuh: omfg, gey. This is mine so get lost freedom. U too Uber union, u don't even have anything to do with the arctic.
Uber Union: Actually Sweden and finland have been bitching a lot...
PastryBoi: u guys have me to represnt teh "uber Union" interests in the arctic.
*Groanland has entered the game*
Groanland: We are want to deal with the arctic by ourselves Pastry boi.
PastryBoi: No! You cn't! We have protcted joo....
Groanland: We can protect our selves u whiny bitch. all u want us for is our resources.
Uber Union: rofl, no u can't.
Groanland: Yes we ca-
PastryBoi: lol, knew it. Russia, bak off
CommieLand: and wat r u goin to do about it
PastryBoi: i am goin to fuk u up!
CommieLand: and do wat sqiurt me wit jelly ass pastries
Uber Union: now pepl, war is not rite
CommieLand: ohh so now the the luegue of pussies is goin ta preach!
FreedomLand: AHA, commieland that is an act ageanst democracy!
PastryBoi: U FUKIN WHORE
PastryBoi: ITS ON!!!!!! )-<
CommieLand: fine, COME GET SUM!
Uber Union: DAMMM this is useless, i quit!
*Uber Union leaves server*
Battle of Svalbard
PastryBoi: NO worrys 4 me i hav the bigger base then any of yall
CommieLand: yess its very nice, but to bad itl be crippled by tommorow!
CanaDuh: not if i hav any thing to say abot it!
Groanland: me too!
FreedomLand: as long as i get sum oil
CanaDuh: ughh, dident see dat comin
FreedomLand: watt? u want help or not
CanaDuh: fine but get ur azz in gear now!
CommieLand: u n00bs r pathetic
CommieLand: OWWWW, u n00bish cheez lovers
*$V^L8ard has entered server*
$V^L8ard: thats it commies we had enough
CommieLand: HAHAHA u punny little ice ball
CommieLand: now weve got a battle!
FreedomLand: U FUKIN H^T3R
CommieLand: DAMMIT stay otta this
CommieLand: HAHAHA so much 4 ur pathetic "base"
$V^L8ard: your goin to PAYY 4 this!
CanaDuh: i hope u commies dont mind if we "borrow"
The expeditions of pointlessness
CommieLand: by what? military force!
CanaDuh: no just, just say goodbye to some of ur shit
*CanaDuh launches an expedition of Franz Josef Land 5 damage!*
CommieLand: heyy man dats mine
*[[Svalbard|$V^L8ard] is now known as PastryBoi*
PastryBoi: yea so was $V^L8ard!! and wat happened to that?
CommieLand: sorry that dosent apply to gayys!
*PastryBoi launches an expedition of the De Long Islands 5 damage!*
CommieLand: im warning u guys!!!!
*CanaDuh launches an expedition of new siberia 1 damage!*
CommieLand: FUK U ALL!!! I WILL DRIVE U N00BS TO THEE GROUND!!!!
*Uber Union has entered server
Uber Union: cum on man, take a chill pill
CanaDuh: i kno seriously,N00B
CommieLand: fuk u ur al HAX3R$
Uber Union: fuk me, fuk urself
CommieLand: i wouldnt be talking, I actually own somthing
*CommieLand claims baffin bay 5 damage!
CommieLand: and now i own more!
CanaDuh: fuk u, ur bull $hit
freedomland: yea man thats owerz
CommieLand: WoW ur hypocrits
CanaDuh: how about a treaty?
The sorta treaty of the north pole
CommieLand: noooooo, thats russias new land!
CommieLand: great! u passed geology
freedomland: NO... but i almost did
Uber Union: okay? back 2 that treaty
CanaDuh: yea, how bout we trade each others land?
freedomland: yea well trade water/land 4 water/land
CommieLand ok, but only if i can get all ov canaduh
CanaDuh: uhhh fuk no!?
freedomland: no way! he might hurt reindeers!
freedomland: u kno santas reindeers!
Uber Union: r u serious?
freedomland: HELLA YEA ill prov it
*freedomland launches expedition of north pole
CommieLand: any luck?
freedomland: FUK OFF! )':
Uber Union: EPIC FAIL!
CanaDuh: haha, can we get bak 2 buisness
Uber Union: yess lets
CommieLand: fine but i get north pole (;
Uber Union: we most assemble all nationz of the arctic
*subway has entered server
*man-o-popsickle has entered server
*fishnation has entered server
Uber Union: now lets get dis show on da road
man-o-popsickle: waz up homies
CanaDuh: WHY do we have this guy!?
CommieLand: yea relly cuz he aint gettin nothin
man-o-popsickle: dont worry i hav everything i want hear
freedomland: all u have is ice and.... land
man-o-popsickle: yess but thats 1 thing u dont have(;
freedomland: must.. resist... urge to... conquer!
subway: boats n h03s
CommieLand: shut up u n00b
fishnation: ur da n00b!
[[United States|freedomland]: ur all noobs!! so shut up!
Uber Union: yess lets all shut up!
CanaDuh: cmon lets get dis over with
Uber Union: rite, u wants the north passage!
CanaDuh: leave it nuetral!!
man-o-popsickle: i agree!
freedomland: so do i!
Uber Union: wow wer gettin somewer
*Northwestern passage is declared nuetral!
CanaDuh: i get baffin island!
freedomland: fine but i get baffin bay!
CommieLand: and i get all water north of MY country
freedomland: cough* of shit
CommieLand: ur jus jeolose of ur superior
*CommieLand declares all water north of border thiers!
*CanaDuh declares baffin island thiers!
*freedomland declares baffin bay, and bering sea thiers
Uber Union: thier its all in order :D
ITS JUST FUKING OIL!!!
CommieLand: ahhh thats better
freedomland: BETTER!?!? what about all the oil
man-o-popsickle: nooo way! stay away from my oil
CanaDuh: seriously we signed a treaty!
man-o-popsickle: U BICTH!!!!!
man-o-popsickle: IM ON FIRE U ASS HOLE!!!
CommieLand: no more oil to kill over! MUHAHAHA
CommieLand: AHHHHH, i was doin u a favor
freedomland: u kno... i think wezor havzor c01d w4r right n0w...
man-o-popsickle: freedomland h4s p01nt...
CommieLand: i h4s id34!11!!!1!11one!!1!!!eleven!!!!
CommieLand: /entercheat und4s34_w4rf4r3
*Undersea Warfare Activated! Submarines are now available to CommieLand!
freedomland: 0 y34!!11!!! 2 can play at dis!1!1!!!!!112
freedomland: /entercheat und4s34_w4rf4r3
*Undersea Warfare Activated! Submarines are now available to Freedomland!
CanaDuh: 3 can play at dis!!!1
CanaDuh: /entercheat und4s34_w4rf4r3
CanaDuh: GAWD WTF G4M3 GL1TCH!!!1!!! ISH NOT WORKING!!!
freedomland: sub patch = roxors! ha u failz!
*Torp: Los Angeles Class Submarine [Freedomland] hits Typhoon Class Submarine [CommieLand]! 80 damage!
*Freedomland has sunk CommieLand Typhoon Class Submarine!
CommieLand: WTF!!! H4X!!! MY NUCLEAR MISSI- ... i mean errrrrr my torpedoes? ummmm precious cargo?
You tried what??!!
CanaDuh: Y0U D1D WUT?!
CommieLand: YE4 I DID DO DAT!!1!!1 me n freedomland r having a cold war right now... so get out of this!!1!!1 this is between me and him!
freedomland: what happened to da tr34tY! wh4t h4pp3n3d to neutrality?!/1?1 what h4pp3n3d to dah oil!!! :*(