Arcade game

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Midgets are easily parted from their cash

“Hey! I know his name, it's Donkey”
~ Fry on Donkey Kong

“Arcade games? That sounds like some kind of terrorist organization.”
~ George W. Bush on Arcade Games

“This thing is impossible to win.”
~ Captain Obvious on Mario Brothers.

Arcade games are a popular way of getting rid of large amounts of spare change. The first arcade game is said to have dated back to Victorian-era England, where Sherlock Holmes injected a little too much super-powder and decided to played play table-tennis with a light bulb and a tub of kerosene in an enclosed space. This was caught on video-tape by an unsuspecting Doctor Who companion, who was subsequently strangled-to-death by The Doctor himself.

Arcade games as we know them became popular in the 80s because, well, let's face it, a lot of pointless crap became popular in the 80s. During the 90s, however, with the advent of portable time-wasters, arcade games were largely forgotten. Lately though, arcade games have re-emerged in downloadable form on the internet mostly as a way of disguising large quantities of child pornography. In recent years, arcade games were used as sperm banks to get unsuspecting females who thought the banks were arcade games to get pregnant. This has been a problem in a few countries. No one knows why this is happening.

Pacman itself will forever go down in history as the game that popularized the American Dream of being yellow and getting fat.

To commit suicide: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start Button

It is believed that George Bush funded the development of the first true arcade machine in hopes of creating a realistic war simulation system capable of training infidels and using them against suspected terrorists who owned large amounts of oil and processing equipment. But after the great arcade system leak of the 80s, everyone got their hands on the device and got addicted.

George Bush then used the machines to secretly build up his banking account to pay off terrorists in exchange for destroying key monuments sometime later.

[edit] Arcade Game Conspiracies

There are many conspiracies around arcade games, but non greater than the Pacman conspiracy. It is believed that Pacman was created in a secret government lab to cause teenagers to become drug addicts and listen to electronic music. Because the U.S government is the biggest supplier of illegal drugs in the world, Pacman was it's training application and was very successful.