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Apples may refer to:
- The favorite snack of a Shinigami (Japanese for "Death Gods"). As Ryuk the Shinigami would certainly say, "apples are how humans say juicy."
- Some kind of disease, the kind that you get when you're visiting your friend's house, and then you run into the younger, wilder sister and then this-and-that leads to a disconcerting condition that you're later looking up on the internet to see if your private parts will fall off.
- A wonderful apple tree in the Garden of Eden led to horrendous, nasty problems for Adam and Eve. There must be a moral to this story.
- Sir Isaac Newton was almost killed once while sitting under a tree by an unexpected avalanche of apples. He coined the phrase "apples and pears" and this marked the beginning of a revolutionary form of conversation called Cockney Rhyme. This was initially reserved only to be spoken by the elite graduates of Cambridge University, it soon became as popular as the broach and continues to influence British Parliment discussions today.