Apple strudel

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An apple strudel is a baked good, originally used as a form of currency during the Renaissance.

Apple strudels consists of an oblong strudel pastry jacket with a filling of chopped apples, sugar, cinnamon, raisins and on occasion, goat bananas. Rum is also often used to add flavour. Other ingredients include squirrels or crayons. The art of preparation is in making the pastry very thin and elastic; it is said that a single layer should be so thin you could read a Bible through it.

The strudel, with its elongated, squarish form will at first seem like a log of feces placed strategically on a plate. But contrary to popular belief, the apple strudel is in fact, edible.

[edit] History

The first strudel was made by a Chinese baker named uben shinken hiens biner (1308-1310) as a method of payment to his landlords, The Hanson Brothers. Frustrated by using pebbles and small children as money, Haans (nicknamed Johnny-Two-By-Four in his early years) consulted with Gary Busey and together concocted the first mixture of sweet dough. Due to unfortunate events, Gary Busey was attacked by a pack of wild snow mice and had to resign from his position as Chief Dough Maker. To this day, Gary Busey is not credited for making the Apple Strudel.

Haans, disheartened at the loss of his friend, paid tribute to Ol' Dirty Harry--as he liked to call him--by lodging whole apples into the dough and pouring mountains of sugar on top. Experts say that when he gave his landlord his new baked discovery, the landlord took one bite of it and died of cardiac arrest. Unfortuantely the mice then attacked Von and he died shortly after his new invention.

[edit] Apple Strudels in Religion

“And God said unto thee, let there be light and thy shalt have thy appleth strudel.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Apple strudel

Little is known today as to why the apple strudel is mentioned on page 567 of the Bible. Historians will tell you that the author of this page is a sick, demented Satanist that enjoys striking utter fear into the hearts of children.

[edit] The Apple Strudel Massacre

The Apple Strudel Massacre was an event that occurred on Monday, March 5, 1770 that helped spark the American Revolution. Tensions caused by military forces and stool pidgeons in Boston increased as soldiers fired into a crowd of peasants and Metallica fans. John Adams said that on the night of the massacre, When Yankee Doodle went to town, just to ride a pony, he stuck a feather in his hat and said, "Oh Lord, where are the Apple Strudels?!"

In all the commotion, Captain Preston's order of "Don't Fire" was likely misinterpreted, and as the parties closed, the soldiers did fire. In this action, five Americans, three donkeys, and Tupac Shakur--an African-American and traditionally the first-known casualty of the American Revolution--died. Six more were injured. The event was illustrated by an engraver named Paul Revere who lived nearby.

[edit] The Apple Strudel Today

Some American Companies such as Pillsbury, Heinz and Prozac have made commercialized versions of the strudel higher in sugar, and in calories. Most people would compare the American Made ones to a Pop Tart and Tum tablets.

The origin of the word Strudel is said to have come from the Middle High German word, Herzinfarkt, meaning to have a heart attack.

Currently Apple Inc. is fighting for a copyright of the word Strudel