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Dear viewers, This evil secret Canadian mind-control device is, rather unfortunately, completely and utterly ape-shit crazy. Its artificialness and poshness do nothing to aid this. The harpsichord is ape-shit crazy, and reigns champion at the zoo. If you attempt to fuck this, you will (in a most unimpressed manner) become ape-shit crazy yourself. Or else the editors at Uncyclopedia will eat your calf.