Anu Malik
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Anu Malik is a revered Music director in India
“Chor Chor chor.”
~ Oscar Wilde in Hindi on Anu Malik
“He is as Original as Xerox Machine's Output.”
~ Mozart on Anu Malik
“Common think something !.”
~ Good Anu Malik on Anu Malik
“Ah, stoppit, just topo western music.”
~ Original Anu Malik on Anu Malik
“When i go outside ladies fall on my sight.”
~ Anu Malik on Anu Malik
“No, its just the breath.”
~ Rest of the world on Anu Malik
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[edit] Biography
Anu Malik a.k.a. "LONG HAIRED INDIAN DICKHEAD" the queen of world music, was born in 1947 when India got its Independence and has since taken the role of the British in torturing Indians with his music. Anu malik aka braided bitch is the love-child of Malikka tera-vaat and HMV's Dog.thus inheriting HMV's gramophone voice and malikka's boobs. He was born in a gutter apparently at 6am when Malika was shitting out, considering him to be a piece of shit she abandoned him. He was later adopted by a madari therefore he dresses like a dancing street monkey. He was named as the most fashionable music director of the nineties which led to massive sales of second-hand topies and madari outfits designed by him in his dharavi outlet If there's someone who beats Beethoven, Mozart and AR Rahman in all ways, its Anu Malik. Anu Malik is one of the most sought music director in Hollywood,Bollywood, Pollywood, Tollywood and Mollywood. Anu Malik's fortune runs to billions of dollars since every film he composes for, more than 80% of the revenue is credited to his account without premium.
[edit] Discography
[edit] THE FILM JOURNEY
Anu Malik, in spite being a virgin,arrogant,lousy,bastard has attracted some Hollywood/Bollywood/Tollywood/Kollywood/Bhojpuriwood/.... producers.. His well-know compositions include>>> "Fuck me...Oh! Honey" (1966) - Used in a gay film called "Dirty Dicks" The Night Bomb! (2000) - Received Rasperries for this 2000 composition Dupatta Niche Rakh (2003) - Used in softporn Tamil movies Ganda Mein Kabutar, Tu Kya Karega Madar! - Used in Bhojpuri screenings...
[edit] The singer within
In 1997, Anu Malik was nominated in Grammy for "Kasamh li hai humne, tujhe na choddenge, I love you oh India..." Anu Malik has a league of movies in which his golden voice echoes forever:
- Ek Garam Chai ki pyali ho...
- East or west, india is the best
- Dhuan Dhuan ho raha hai sama ...kahin to hai aag lagi...
baat to sahi hai !!!
[edit] Notable Achievements
Anu Malik also rejected his selection as guest judge in American Idol. FremantleMedia got so desperate that they were out with an Indian version of their Pop Idol called as Indian Idol. Anu Malik's vast experience in Music industry makes him unbeatable, uncopiable and irreplaceable.
Recently, he won 4 Rasperries for his performance in some bullshit movie called JAAN-E-SUN! (That was in 2005)
Besides he is a recipient for this year's WWF HALL OF SHAME held in Reykjavik
[edit] Trivia
Copied his hair cut from Micheal Jackson but says its Original.
Fond of copy machines, although he denies the owning.
Loves Sex with trees.
[edit] Source of inspiration
There are myriad number of classics which Anu Malik claims to have composed in Public washrooms, some of which he brags about in interview.
[edit] Anu Malik's tough competitors:
Dog next door, Himesss Rash-miya, Pritam
[edit] An Inspiration to
AR Rahman, Ismail Darbar, MM Kreem, RD Burman.
[edit] Recent Trends
With the advent of high tech musical equipments with computer mixing, Anu Malik is no less. However, there a some groups in Orkut(I hate Anu Malik Group) that shows growing membership with each day.
