Anonymous

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[[Image:Portrait.jpg|thumb|''Portrait of Anonymous''.]]
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[[Image:Portrait.jpg|thumb|''Portrait of Anonymous (By Anonymous)''.]]
   
[[Anonymous|Anonymous (Charlie Kisdacuzquter)]] (b.1094–d.1332)
+
{{Whoops|4Chan}}
   
Quite possibly the best-known writer in the [[Universe]], '''Anonymous''' has written over 43,904,529 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word. Although his works are well-known amongst the entire world's population, most do not know about him.
+
{{q|I prefer to remain Anonymous.|Anonymous|changing his name}}
   
  +
''Anonymous'', '''Anonymousia de Bergerac-Fleur''', [[Anon]] to his friends or
  +
العضو التناسلي النسوي القديم في عرض البحر (his [[Muslim]] name) is a famous writer, artist, director, philanthropist and social activist. Among '''many''' other things, Anonymous is known for his long, dark hair, his odd, pale, Guy Fawkes-like face, his deep-booming voice, his mysterious use of the royal "we", and his inhumanly frequent posts to a variety of sites on teh interwebz. Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a [[million]] other kinds of written word.
  +
He is [[AAAAAAAAA!|a]] skilled singer and songwriter, as well, although many of his songs are credited to one of his many pseudonyms, such as "Unknown artist", "Various", "Folk" or "Traditional".
  +
Although his works are well-known amongst the entire world's [[population]], little is actually known about [[2|him]]. Nearly every [[Uncyclopedia Article|Uncyclopedia article]] was written by Anonymous, his most brilliant work arguably being the critically acclaimed [[Fisher Price]]. Most of the remaining articles on the site appear to have been written by [[you]] and [[me]]. Anonymous has also worked as a director, and maintains a strong friendship with blue-chip director [[Alan Smithee]]. His exact motive for publishing under so many pseudonyms remains to be seen.
  +
  +
Possessing a strong philanthropic streak, Anonymous is widely considered very generous, in addition to the untold trillions of dollars donated in his name, he has donated more than 5 trillion pastries to charity. Ironically, he has never done this [[anonymous|anonymously]], but charities always seem to think so.
  +
  +
<br clear="all">
  +
<choose><option>
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</option><option>
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{{q|Anonymous don't care About Black People.|a rapper we cannot name for legal reasons|Anonymous}}
  +
</option><option>
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{{q|Who am I?|Anonymous|Himself}}
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</option><option>
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{{q|I doesn't even know to spell Anonimus.|A hillbilly president that we would rather not identify|Anonymous}}
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</option><option>
  +
{{q|Is it because I iz anonymous?.|An unidentified character of Sacha Baron Cohen|Anonymous}}
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</option><option>
  +
{{q|I may be drunk, but in the morning I'll be sober, and you'll still be anonymous.|An unnamed British Prime minister|Anonymous}}
  +
</option><option>
  +
{{q|On the Internet, nobody knows you're anonymous|An unidentified blogger|The Internet}}
  +
</option></choose>
   
 
== The Early Years ==
 
== The Early Years ==
  +
[[Image:anonymous.png|right|thumb|Anonymous was always teased as a child.]]
  +
Anonymous was born '''Anonymousia de Bergerac-Fleur''' - his [[Catholic]] name - on [[November]] [[13]], [[1094]], in Little [[Bullocks]], [[England]]. He is a cousin of [[Cyrano de Bergerac]] which explains his hideously large nose. He is one of [[Hades]]' disputed illegitimate children that was conceived in a [[lightning|ball of fire]]. Anonymous, fortunately, was not blessed with his father's grace and wisdom because he thought he was gay.
   
Anonymous was born Charlie Uther Kisdacuzquter on [[November]] [[13]], [[1094]], in Bollocks, [[England]]. At an early age, his mother, Fran Kisdacuzquter, enrolled him into the ''[[School For Young Chavs]]'' to learn to read and write. His teacher, [[William Shakespeare]] (best known for his play, "''Rent''"), taught him not only to write, but also to form both coherent and incoherent works of literature. It was then that Charlie decided to start his career.
+
At an early age, his mother, '''Ibid of Poseidon''', enrolled him into ''Daily [[Plague]] News'' ([[May]] [[10]], [[1116]] - [[May]] [[12]], [[1116]]). His editor advised him to change his name to a more pronounceable pseudonym. It was then that Anonymousia de Bergerac-Fleur became simply '''Anonymous''', the greatest writer who ever lived, or who will ever live (ever). ('''''Editor's Note:''' [[Oscar Wilde]] disputes this.'')
  +
[[Image:Anon.JPG|thumb|left|One of these people is Anonymous, and all of them wish it could be them.]]
  +
Anonymous left only two children to the world which came about due to a tryst with a well known Professor of Political Sciences and Genetic Inbreeding, '''Jeanne de Daine'''. According to many, Anonymous was said to have been "greatly thrilled" by his love affair and subsequent parenthood, but was distraught shortly after the birth of their two children. His wife had decided to depart for Australia to follow her lifelong dream of becoming a veterinarian for small extinct animals.
   
After a short stint writing as Charlie Kisdacuzquter at the ''[[Daily Plague News]]'' (May 10, 1116 - May 12, 1116), his editor advised him to change his name to a more pronounceable [[pseudonym]]. It was then, that Charlie Kisdacuzquter became Anonymous. The greatest writer who ever lived.
+
Their eldest child is '''Soldat D'Inconnu-Fleur''' (''Unknown Soldier'') while their youngest was named '''Jean de Daine-Fleur''' (''John Doe''). Both died from unknown causes. It is with this note that all anonymous people are now named '''John Doe'''.
   
   
 
== His Career ==
 
== His Career ==
  +
[[Image:Anonpointless.jpg|thumb|Anonymous joined the group Anonymous and did pointless things wearing masks.]]
  +
After working at the [[Daily Plague News]] for a few long years, Anonymous had already compiled a short book of poems, [[sonnet]]s and dirty limericks. "''Do Not Steal Yon Book''" was released in 1120 and was immediately picked up by ''Warner Bros.'' to become a [[motionless picture]]. Slated to direct was the up-and-coming director [[Tim Burton]], but unfortunately, he wasn't to be born for several hundred years. This problem was never sorted out and eventually was completely forgotten.
   
After working at the ''[[Daily Plague News]]'' for a few short years, Anonymous had already compiled a short book of poems, sonnets and dirty limericks. "''Do Not Steal Ye Book''" was released in [[1120]] and was immediately picked up by ''[[Warner Bros.]]'' to become a [[motion picture]]. Slated to direct was the up-and-coming director Tim Burton, but, unfortunately, he wasn't to be born for another hundred years. This problem was never sorted out and eventually was completely forgotten.
+
But this didn't discourage Anonymous. He went on to write [[penis|9]] more books that year, including:
   
But this didn't discourage Anonymous. He went on to write five more books that year, including:
+
*''Anonimityville Horror''
+
*''[[Leprosy]] Can Be Fun''
*''[[The Times of Our Lord, and Other Lies]]''
 
*''[[Leprosy Can Be Fun]]''
 
 
*''[[The DaVinci Code]]''
 
*''[[The DaVinci Code]]''
  +
*''Fahrenheit 451''
  +
*''I Don't Like [[cockroach|Cockroaches]]''
  +
*''[[Triangular theory of love|The Triangular Theory of Love]]''
  +
*''[[Desu]],Desu,Desu,Desu, a true story
  +
*''I Like my [[Egg]]s Sunny-side Up
  +
*''[[That guy]],is not me
   
The next twenty years, he wrote a total of 31,598 books and wrote 19,438 articles for assorted newspapers of the world.
+
The next twenty years, he wrote a total of 31,598 books and 19,438 articles for assorted newspapers of [[the world]].
 
By [[1298]], Anonymous had nearly tripled the amount of published works under his name. Very pleased with himself one day, Anonymous decided to go [[bar-hopping]]. While talking with a very drunken fellow in Justabout, [[England]], he found out there was another writer using his [[pseudonym]] and publishing very awful works of literature. Enraged, Anonymous demanded to speak with the impostor, but he was always unavailable.
 
   
  +
By 1298, Anonymous had nearly tripled the amount of published works under his name. Very pleased with himself one day, Anonymous decided to go [[bar-hopping]]. While talking with a very drunken fellow in Justabout, England, he found out there was another writer using his pseudonym and publishing very awful works of literature. Anonymous demanded to speak with the impostor, but he was always unavailable.
   
 
== The Downfall ==
 
== The Downfall ==
  +
[[Image:Anonymousnot.jpg|thumb|*Figure Not Included]]
  +
Anonymous decided to sort this bit out immediately. He hired [[Abraham Lincoln]] as his [[lawyer]] and brought to court one of the most heated courtroom sessions in the world, ''Anonymous v. Anonymous''. In the months to come, Anonymous fought his case all the way to [[Supreme Court]]. The session lasted two years. Ultimately, the case was settled out of court and Anonymous was left penniless.
   
Anonymous decided to solve this bit out immediately. He hired [[Abraham Lincoln]] as his lawyer and brought to court one of the most heated courtroom sessions in the world, ''[[Anonymous v. Anonymous]]''. In the months to come, Anonymous fought his case all the way to Supreme Court. The session lasted two years. Ultimately, the case was settled out of court and Anonymous was left penniless.
+
Down on his luck and bitch-slapped by the soon-to-be [[American Justice System]], Anonymous wrote short [[haikus]] for food. In 1332, the increasing [[numbers]] of phony Anonymi finally bore down on him. He was found dead in a [[dumpster]] outside the red-light district of [[Cleveland]]. Few know exactly how he died, but how he got in Cleveland before it was even conceived was the biggest [[mystery]] of all.
 
Down on his luck and outright bitch-slapped by the soon-to-be [[American Justice System]], Anonymous wrote short haikus for food. In [[1332]], the increasing numbers of phoney Anonymous's finally beared down on him. He was found dead in a gutter outside the red-light district of Cleveland. No one knows how he died, but how he got in Cleveland before it was even thought up was the biggest mystery of them all.
 
   
 
== His Legacy ==
 
== His Legacy ==
+
What Anonymous did leave behind, however, was the use of his pen name for people who didn't like the sound of their real names on paper. Since his [[death]] in 1332, more than 800 million pieces of work were posthumously credited to him. The legacy lives on - and will forever - until people come up with a different name to use. As his last-known poem entitled, "''The Poem Of Poems''", says:
What Anonymous did leave behind, however, was the use of his pen name for people who didn't like the sound of their real names on paper. Since his death in [[1332]], more than 800 million pieces of work were posthumously credited to him. The [[legacy]] lives on, and will forever until people come up with a different name to use. As his last-known poem entitled, "''The Poem Of Poems''", says:
 
   
 
:''To those who are gone by gone,''
 
:''To those who are gone by gone,''
:''And to those who are not,''
+
:''And to those who are not,''
:''Let us not forget the words''
+
:''Let us not forget the words''
:''of "Mr. Forget-Me-Not."''
+
:''of "Mr. Forget-Me-Not."''
  +
  +
Because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles.
  +
  +
On the [[Internet]], Anonymous is credited with being the main source of inspiration for [[Guest]], who sometimes goes by the pseudo-name ''Anonymous''.
  +
  +
==Anonymous Lives(?/!)==
  +
[[Image:Breathing_certificate.jpg|thumb|300px|Anonymous is also the guy who grants your breathing cert, as seen in the signature.]]
  +
While Anonymous was assumed to be long dead, he is said by someone to be the creator of nearly all Uncyclopedia articles – like this article's [[Talk:Anonymous|talk page]]. "Anonymous Lives" written in spray paint are occasionally found on walls and monuments throughout [[Microsoftland]]. He has also been found to be the author of the Unknowable Theory. Some [[speculation|speculate]] them to be part of Guest's evil duck schemes, but the [[cheese|Brotherhood of Anonymous]] believes that they are signs of their long-lost religious leader. Some have even claimed to have seen Anonymous on [[4chan]], but this rumor is quashed because most either don't care, fear [[4chan]], or are [[lazy]].
  +
  +
==See also==
  +
* [[Mysterious Writers]]
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* [[Alan Smithee]]
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* [[4chan]]
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* [[4.252.99.182]]
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* [[Some guy you've never heard of]]
  +
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{{start box}}
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{{succession box | before = ''none'' | title = [[Poet Laureate]] of [[Uncyclopedia]] | years= [[In the Beginning|Beginning of Time]], [[End of Time]] and [[Time|Everything in Between]]| after= ''none''}}
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{{end box}}
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{{Anonymous}}
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{{FA|date=17 June 2005|revision=73178}}
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[[Category:Writers]]
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[[Category:Historical figures]]
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[[Category:People with mad teeth]]
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[[Category:People for whom Quotes are Made up]]
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[[Category:Middle Ages]]
   
[[Category: Writers]][[Category: Historical figures]]
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[[da:Anonymitet]]
[[Category: People with mad teeth]]
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[[el:Κανένας]]
{{VFH}}
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[[en:Anonymous]]
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[[eo:Anonimulo]]
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[[es:Anónimo]]
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[[fr:Anonymous]]
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[[it:Anonimo]]
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[[ko:익명]]
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[[no:Anonym]]
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[[ru:Анонимус]]
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[[sk:Anonym]]
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[[uk:Анонімус]]

Latest revision as of 09:35, January 2, 2014

Portrait

Portrait of Anonymous (By Anonymous).

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for 4Chan?
“I prefer to remain Anonymous.”
~ Anonymous on changing his name

Anonymous, Anonymousia de Bergerac-Fleur, Anon to his friends or العضو التناسلي النسوي القديم في عرض البحر (his Muslim name) is a famous writer, artist, director, philanthropist and social activist. Among many other things, Anonymous is known for his long, dark hair, his odd, pale, Guy Fawkes-like face, his deep-booming voice, his mysterious use of the royal "we", and his inhumanly frequent posts to a variety of sites on teh interwebz. Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word. He is a skilled singer and songwriter, as well, although many of his songs are credited to one of his many pseudonyms, such as "Unknown artist", "Various", "Folk" or "Traditional". Although his works are well-known amongst the entire world's population, little is actually known about him. Nearly every Uncyclopedia article was written by Anonymous, his most brilliant work arguably being the critically acclaimed Fisher Price. Most of the remaining articles on the site appear to have been written by you and me. Anonymous has also worked as a director, and maintains a strong friendship with blue-chip director Alan Smithee. His exact motive for publishing under so many pseudonyms remains to be seen.

Possessing a strong philanthropic streak, Anonymous is widely considered very generous, in addition to the untold trillions of dollars donated in his name, he has donated more than 5 trillion pastries to charity. Ironically, he has never done this anonymously, but charities always seem to think so.


“On the Internet, nobody knows you're anonymous”
~ An unidentified blogger on The Internet


edit The Early Years

Anonymous

Anonymous was always teased as a child.

Anonymous was born Anonymousia de Bergerac-Fleur - his Catholic name - on November 13, 1094, in Little Bullocks, England. He is a cousin of Cyrano de Bergerac which explains his hideously large nose. He is one of Hades' disputed illegitimate children that was conceived in a ball of fire. Anonymous, fortunately, was not blessed with his father's grace and wisdom because he thought he was gay.

At an early age, his mother, Ibid of Poseidon, enrolled him into Daily Plague News (May 10, 1116 - May 12, 1116). His editor advised him to change his name to a more pronounceable pseudonym. It was then that Anonymousia de Bergerac-Fleur became simply Anonymous, the greatest writer who ever lived, or who will ever live (ever). (Editor's Note: Oscar Wilde disputes this.)

Anon

One of these people is Anonymous, and all of them wish it could be them.

Anonymous left only two children to the world which came about due to a tryst with a well known Professor of Political Sciences and Genetic Inbreeding, Jeanne de Daine. According to many, Anonymous was said to have been "greatly thrilled" by his love affair and subsequent parenthood, but was distraught shortly after the birth of their two children. His wife had decided to depart for Australia to follow her lifelong dream of becoming a veterinarian for small extinct animals.

Their eldest child is Soldat D'Inconnu-Fleur (Unknown Soldier) while their youngest was named Jean de Daine-Fleur (John Doe). Both died from unknown causes. It is with this note that all anonymous people are now named John Doe.


edit His Career

Anonpointless

Anonymous joined the group Anonymous and did pointless things wearing masks.

After working at the Daily Plague News for a few long years, Anonymous had already compiled a short book of poems, sonnets and dirty limericks. "Do Not Steal Yon Book" was released in 1120 and was immediately picked up by Warner Bros. to become a motionless picture. Slated to direct was the up-and-coming director Tim Burton, but unfortunately, he wasn't to be born for several hundred years. This problem was never sorted out and eventually was completely forgotten.

But this didn't discourage Anonymous. He went on to write 9 more books that year, including:

The next twenty years, he wrote a total of 31,598 books and 19,438 articles for assorted newspapers of the world.

By 1298, Anonymous had nearly tripled the amount of published works under his name. Very pleased with himself one day, Anonymous decided to go bar-hopping. While talking with a very drunken fellow in Justabout, England, he found out there was another writer using his pseudonym and publishing very awful works of literature. Anonymous demanded to speak with the impostor, but he was always unavailable.

edit The Downfall

Anonymousnot

*Figure Not Included

Anonymous decided to sort this bit out immediately. He hired Abraham Lincoln as his lawyer and brought to court one of the most heated courtroom sessions in the world, Anonymous v. Anonymous. In the months to come, Anonymous fought his case all the way to Supreme Court. The session lasted two years. Ultimately, the case was settled out of court and Anonymous was left penniless.

Down on his luck and bitch-slapped by the soon-to-be American Justice System, Anonymous wrote short haikus for food. In 1332, the increasing numbers of phony Anonymi finally bore down on him. He was found dead in a dumpster outside the red-light district of Cleveland. Few know exactly how he died, but how he got in Cleveland before it was even conceived was the biggest mystery of all.

edit His Legacy

What Anonymous did leave behind, however, was the use of his pen name for people who didn't like the sound of their real names on paper. Since his death in 1332, more than 800 million pieces of work were posthumously credited to him. The legacy lives on - and will forever - until people come up with a different name to use. As his last-known poem entitled, "The Poem Of Poems", says:

To those who are gone by gone,
And to those who are not,
Let us not forget the words
of "Mr. Forget-Me-Not."

Because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles.

On the Internet, Anonymous is credited with being the main source of inspiration for Guest, who sometimes goes by the pseudo-name Anonymous.

edit Anonymous Lives(?/!)

Breathing certificate

Anonymous is also the guy who grants your breathing cert, as seen in the signature.

While Anonymous was assumed to be long dead, he is said by someone to be the creator of nearly all Uncyclopedia articles – like this article's talk page. "Anonymous Lives" written in spray paint are occasionally found on walls and monuments throughout Microsoftland. He has also been found to be the author of the Unknowable Theory. Some speculate them to be part of Guest's evil duck schemes, but the Brotherhood of Anonymous believes that they are signs of their long-lost religious leader. Some have even claimed to have seen Anonymous on 4chan, but this rumor is quashed because most either don't care, fear 4chan, or are lazy.

edit See also

Preceded by:
none
Poet Laureate of Uncyclopedia
Beginning of Time, End of Time and Everything in Between
Succeeded by:
none

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