Angst-roms

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Angstrom

Hans Angstrom from a dramatic angle...because that's the way it's got to be.

The angst-rom is the Système International unit of angst.

edit Origins of the Unit

The angst-rom is named after Hans Johannes Ångström, the brother of famous Swiss physicist Anders Jonas Ångström, whom the chemistry unit angstrom is named after. Hans never achieved anything in his lifetime apart from continually whining on his Livejournal about how he never achieved anything, which resulted in him continuing to achieve nothing and becoming an emo. While in his state of being "depressed and whiny but too much of a wimp to actually take his own life," Hans discovered a subatomic particle within the blood he cut from his wrist which he called the emotron. The emotron had neither a positive or negative charge, although it seemed to be almost pretending it was negative to create the illusion it was part of a subculture of particles when in fact it was simply following a mindless trend.

edit Further Investigation

In an attempt to gain some glory, Hans investigated the emotron further and discovered its presence in the atoms of any sound or matter associated to the emo subculture. Hans needed some way to quantify his analysis and so he created the unit angst-rom to measure emotron charge. The angst-rom was defined by Hans as being the emo charge necessary to turn a 10kg mass from consisting of protons, neutrons and electrons into emotrons by way of an emotronic reaction. The symbol for the angst-rom is -_-;, for example the average Livejournal page carries a charge of 5.0x109 k-_-; (kiloangst-roms).

The Wine Bottler.

edit Common Angst-romic Values

1 -_-; Energy expelled when an emo sighs, energy absorbed by an optimist per second
10 -_-; Energy expelled when an emo talks, energy absorbed per Uncyclopedia edit
100 -_-; Energy expelled when an emo is seen without adequate protection, such as Anti-emo glasses, energy absorbed per AAAAAAAAA! veiw
1 k-_-; Energy expelled whenever someone mentions Simple Plan, energy absorbed per Wikipedia edit
1 M-_-; Average energy expelled by a Simple Plan song, Energy absorbed by a cat picture
1 G-_-; Energy expelled by looking at ANY myspace.com page, energy absorbed by doing something useful
1 T-_-; (1 trillion) Average energy inside one emo
1 Z-_-; (A lot) Energy asbsorbed by the Thought Police

edit Effects of the Angstrom

The effects (e) caused by large-scale exposure to angst-roms are off significant danger to all and can be expressed by the formula:

e= ((k( -._.- ;)^4)n^6))/sinn

where e is the emotronic force in Newtons, k is the constant of Constant Falsified Depression (666 N/-_-;) and is the number of moles of emotrons present in the emotronic reaction.

edit Symptoms of High Exposure

There is inherent danger in exposure to angst-roms although the effects are not widely known. They include:

  • An ability to write abysmal poems, all of which somehow relate to the suicide that the author is too much of a whining nuisance to pull off.
  • Blindness in one eye. The blindness caused by Angst-roms is only temporary and can be cured by removing the hair that emotronic forces have moved in front of one's eye.
  • Inability to be cynical properly. Cynicism is a trait only found in those with a realistic grasp of reality however, when cyncisim is warped by angst-roms it becomes devoid of any real intention and is simply a means to attract attention by facading as though one is legitimately annoyed (of which there are many to reasons to be).
  • Whiney emo punk rock. The only genre more pathetic than hip-hop. The best remedy for an outburst of emo music is good music.
  • The desire to make yourself others think that you are masochistic by cutting your wrists in every way possible other than those which will actually hurt you. (See: emo cutting). or better yet we could mess up you mom.
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