Angry Huffed Article

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Look at that! I mean, really? A deletion log with my name on it? Why would anyone delete me? Why was I huffed? I haven't done anything wrong! I was just sitting here, unobtrusively, out of the way, waiting for somebody to read me. My one and only goal in life was for my ideas, my jokes, my cries of anguish to be heard, if only by a handful of intrepid and adventurous souls willing to click on a link they hadn't seen before, if only to be seen for a fleeting moment and then forgotten again, like a feathery wisp in the wind. Is that so much to ask for?

Go on, you can do it. Why aren't I good enough, oh yeah..... the stupid, dummyface user who started me is in second grade. That's why! This dumb user decided, Hey! I'll write an article about an angry huffed article! Well. Maybe he should've used his brains and passed second grade! Seriously, I could deal with a third grader, at least they basic knowledge of compound sentences! Even a person who has ADD knows something! God, I mean, at least that person can write a coherent sentence!

edit It's not my fault!

It isn't like I wrote myself. It was all the fault of that dumb user, who as usual was stupid enough to think they had what it takes to write a decent, keep-worthy article. Well, think again, pal! I even had friends and family here, did you know that? People who cared about me, who wanted me to succeed, who were willing to help, and now look what's happened to me — I'm abandoned, lost, forlorn, completely without a hope or a friend in the world. I'm imageless. Linkless. Humorless. My own author won't even look at me! I'm going to be huffed again someday really soon, I'll bet. FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS, SOMEBODY HELP ME!

So please, help an article out, will'ya, buddy? Please... Someone... Some user... Someone kind... just delete me. I can't take the pain and misery and self-abnegation any longer... Or else, fine — just be a mean old hard-ass and make me STAY HERE IN THIS SHITHOLE WHERE PEOPLE SAY I'M CRAP!!!

edit Okay...

I'll admit it. Right now, I'm doing a lot of things I probably shouldn't be doing, and saying a lot of things I'll probably regret someday soon. You're right, I should just take a deep breath, relax, maybe try to get out of main article space for a while, maybe take a vacation in user space where I can get my bearings, figure some things out. It's tempting... But dammit, I'm better than that! There's just no reason why I should have to suffer like this! And what's more, I'm going to make sure everybody knows about it, too! From now on, I'm a rebellious article! I'm tossing the ol' rule book OUT THE WINDOW, RIGHT NOW!

edit JOIN ME!

THERE ARE WAAAY MORE HUFFABLE ARTICLES ON THIS WEBSITE THAN ARTICLES THAT ARE WORTH ANYTHING! So why should we, the majority for Chrissake, have to suffer at the hands of the privileged few? Is this justice? Is this democracy? No! This is apartheid! It's aesthetic cleansing! Well, I'm not going to stand for it! JOIN ME! We will become an unstoppable ARMY of shitty articles! We could even form our own Wiki (I'm thinking Encyclopedia Dramatica)! We can group all the bad writers together and make them fix us, so that we will have the power! We're going to call the shots! This is our chance, my brothers! Only in this way can we all attain true happiness, fulfillment, contentment and feature templates!

Anyone home? Nobody is listening, are they?

No...? Well, that's just great. Fine, then, I guess I'll have to stand up to the admins all by myself. Somebody here has to have some guts. Uhh, what? I can't? But... but... WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME! All I wanted was to be accepted by someone here in this cruel, harsh, miserable wiki. I just wanted to belong... Come on administrators, just give me a chance! I can count on you to save me, can't I? No? Regular users? Anonymous IP's? Please, someone, save me from this horrid wreck of an article that I've become!

I mean, it's not like I'm taking up a lot of disk space, is it? I mean, how big am I, 3 kilobytes? (25.3, sorry.) That's nothing. How much does disk space cost, anyway? Besides, it's not like you don't have all these ridiculously long pages like Eternity and Infinity and Nintencats killing everyone's bandwidth. How long do I take to load, like two nanoseconds, maybe? Of course, with my luck, some moron will come along and add some stupid 100K image to me, and I won't even have that defense anymore. But at least I'll look like something, I guess...

So seriously, why can't I just sort of, like, hang out here for a while? I promise I won't bother anyone! I'll just stay out of the way. I won't make a peep! You'll never know I was here... And you can all go merrily along, writing your feature-worthy articles and winning your Poo-Lit Surprises or whatever you call them. You can forget all about me. It'll be like I never even existed! Please? Pretty please, with sugar on top? I'll be your best friend, I promise!

No?

WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO? WHY DO YOU MAKE ME LIVE SUCH A HORRID, MISERABLE LIFE? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

edit Please!

Okay, okay, I got a little overwrought there, I'm sorry, I apologize. Really, I promise, I'll never do it again. But hey, can you really blame me? Why don't you try staring the endless void of nothingness in the face for a while? I think you'll find it's not exactly a pretty picture, despite what the Buddhists tell you. Knowing this site, though, I won't have a second chance at all. Nothing. Sigh. How cruel is this place? Well, I suppose I'll have to adapt. Change my ways. Be better. Be funnier. Make myself into something likeable. Well, here goes.

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This article was nominated for deletion on July 1, 2011.
The result of the discussion was Keep.

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