Angels and Airwaves

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In early 2005, a mighty angel named Tom Delonge descended from the heavens with dreams of making beautiful music with three other members. He promptly named his band, "Angels & Airwaves". The name of the band came from Tom's egotistical nature, so he decided to put himself in the name of the band. He added airwaves as this is naturally how sound travels. However, his dream went horribly wrong. He put out a CD which nobody liked. And then he proceeded to release another.

This Tom Delonge is not to be confused with the pussy that left his band because he was an asshole.

[edit] We Don't Need To Whisper In Eachothers Ear Whilst Having Sex, Keith

The first CD was infact the worst thing to be played on television since Chuck Norris' sex tape. Thus the entire world hated Tom DeLonge and still do.

--In reality, the band angels and airwaves is made up of such pretentious crap that even mtv wont play it anymore. the only reason angels and airwaves gets any acclaim anymore is from the shameless self promotion of the band by dong deloner himself. he steals his way into every venue to warp the minds of impressionable, lemming-like youth. he even manages to sneak his way into uncyclopedia articles to talk trash on people who actually speak the truth and to promote his gay bum sex records to the truly thinking masses

[edit] Assassination Attempts

Many attempts have been made on Tom Delonge's life. All have been stopped by his force field. It is composed of many things like broken dreams and other fragments of the emo lifestyle. The most recent assassination attempt on Tom was made by Mark Hoppus. Mark paid off a unicorn to gore Tom. Unfortunately, Tom did not survive the attack, but was brought back to life by Brandon Flowers who does not look a thing like Jesus but talks like enough of a gentleman to have brought Tom back to life.

Assassination Attempt 2

On March 15, 2008, the infamous Angel (Tommy) was shot 6 times point blank to the head with an airsoft gun. Tommy was then brought back to life by Holly, the mysterious girl who was oftened mentioned in Blink 1-8-2's last album.

[edit] Album #2

Tom Delonge officially announced that the band had created a brand new superdooper album which he named "mom". In a press confrence with satan and chuck norris Delonge stated the album was deticated to his dog. It features 6 brand new songs. They all last over 10 minutes however most of the time is spend with tom delonge plucking the same string over and over again until that evolves into one word from the great vocalist.

1. It still hurts 2. The Adventure with chuck norris 3. Do It For Me on Saturday. 4. Rite of Summer 5. Call of Legs 6. Star of David (Kennedy) in england a 20 minute bonus track was added. it is called "Bonus Track". the song is 19 minutes of tom delonge whispering the words "Tom Delonge" the last minute is what is believed to be Quacking Noises sung thought a beer bottle with a hole in it.

[edit] I-Am-Pirate

In 2008, Tom DeLonge, by himself wrote a 3rd album for Angels and Airwaves called I-Am-Pirate. The album featured such tracks as Breathe, were Tom DeLonge breathed in and out for exactly 4 minutes then yawned. The song was nominated for many awards, but didn't win any because in reality the song sucked. Another hit song was A Song About Me, where Tom sang "my life was hard before I was 16 as I had to go to school everyday and it was harder than yours and my dad and I made a living by sucking dicks". Other songs included a 40 minute bonus track were Tom whispered "I like this song", even though the sound was called Yell.

[edit] Origin of The Album Name: I-Am-Pirate

Three days after the I-Am-Pirate album was released, Tom DeLonge (now known as Tom DeLoner) revealed that the origin of his third album is from his inner most darkest secret, yes it is gay bum sex with pirates. At an earlier press conference they revealed it was first going to be named I-Am-Butt-Pirate, but Tom and the other members agreed that that was giving away too much. He is quoted saying "You have so much to look foward to... the sex is great". He said he had many fantasies about having gay bum sex with pirates on the stage, on the streets, right now and even in Mark Hoppus' garage. He then realized that he is gay and hung himself. Luckily for the pirates, he was brought back by his lover, Captain Jack Sparrow.

[edit] Future of Angel.. Tom DeLonge

In the future, DeLonge says he is going to change his name to "Dong DeLoner" because it sounds better. And he will finally marry his lover Morgan Englandish.Tom believes that one day he will grow wings out of his ass, as well, so when he his bombarded with trash at his concerts, he can in his words, "Fly to the heavens shouting I'm better than you".

[edit] David Kennedy's Party Favor Business

After an inspiring run-in with Martha Stewart, David Kennedy began his own Party Favor business. Complete with stomach churning screwdrivers and hostile eggplants, David's favors have been the basis of the Wong-Tong-Wing-Wong Religion. The favors are only available on January 8th, Earth's birthday.

[edit] MARRIAGE

It is predicted by many voodoo witch doctors that Tom Delonge is going someday to marry Erika C*l*a, a Friulani girl. Fortune tellers and court jesters believe that Mr. Delonge will marry Valentina S*ss*oni*. Other witches are jealous and believe that Delonge will die alone, with the two girls locked in a cage in front of him, unable to help.