From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Hell hath no fury like a Fletcher scorned.”
Andrew John Fletcher (born 8 July 1961, Heaven, England), known as "Fletch™", is a co-founder and member of the English synth band Depeche Mode, and the undisputed Prince of Darkness. The name Fletch derives from the Greek word fletchidiabolos, which means "slanderer", "accuser", or "useless waste". He commands a force of lesser evil spirits, commonly known as Depeche Mode.
edit Life before Depeche Mode
Born July 8, 1961 in Heaven, Essex, England, Andy Fletcher is believed to be an angel who rebelled against God— and also the one who sang through an unplugged microphone to seduce Eve into disobeying God's command. This episode is recounted in the Biblical book of Genesis, and spawned the aphorism "playing the angel". Cast out of heaven and forced into the life of a human being, Fletch swore vengeance upon God and set about seeking his revenge in the form of electronic music. He set about assembling the most angsty group of teenagers he could find to exact his revenge upon the Almighty. Originally, Fletch supposedely played bass in a band with Vince Clarke, until he found a more evil instrument in the synthesizer, and formed a group called Composition of Sound with both Clarke and prissy Martin Gore. In 1980, these three musicians formed Depeche Mode with vocalist/strongman David Gahan. Fletcher has never been a leading musician in the group, but more of a mooch, where his strong points lie. He is also the only member that has never written a song for the band although it is indicated in one interview that he had attempted it in the past, but his offering didn't meet the usual Depeche standards of evil to warrant inclusion on any album.
edit Evil Intentions
His ultimate goal is to lead people away from the love of God — to lead them to fallacies which God opposes (namely, God's love of death metal). Fletch is also identified as the accuser of Michael Jackson, the tempter in the Gospels, the secret power of lawlessness in 2 Thessalonians 2:7, and the dragon in the Book of Revelation. Before his alleged insurrection, Fletcher was among the tallest of all angels and "the reddest of them all". His pride is considered a reason why he would not bow to God as all other angels did or properly learn an instrument, but sought to rule heaven himself by mooching off the talents of others. The popularly held beliefs that Fletch was once a prideful angel who eventually rebels against God, however, are barely portrayed explicitly in Depeche Mode biographies and are mostly based on inference. The Book of Revelation describes how Fletch will be cast out of Heaven, into Depeche Mode, having "great anger" and waging war against "hip-hop, rap, and cock rock alike". Ultimately, Fletch is thrown into the "lake of fire" (Revelation 20:10), not as ruler, but as one among many, being tormented day and night for all eternity.
Fletcher has been criticized for his voice, and is the only member of Depeche Mode that does not sing except for the hidden song "Crucified" on Violator. His only line, "Crucified!" (and the only line of the song) is distorted. While the religious nature of the line is apparent on the surface, the true blasphemy is much more covert - when played backwards, the hidden message Huff your kitten! is revealed. The song plays at the end of "Enjoy the Silence".
edit Historic References
edit In Islam
Whenever the Qur'an refers to the creature who refused to prostrate before Adam at the time of the latter's creation, it refers to him as Fletch.
An alternate name for the main deity in the tentatively Indo-European pantheon of the Yezidi, Malek Taus, is Fletch.
edit In the Bahá'í Faith
In the Bahá'í Faith, 'Fletch' is not regarded as an independent evil power as he is in some faiths, but signifies the "base nature" of humans. `Abdu'l-Bahá explains: "This lower nature in man is symbolized as Fletch -- the evil ego within us, not an evil personality outside or a particularly talented musician."
Fletcher, or Fletch, refers to a mythical account of death and resurrection in Akkadian mythology. Its closest analogue in Greek mythology is Cerberus, in its guardianship of hell.
edit Family Life
Fletcher currently lives in England, with his wife Grainne, and has two children, Megan and Lucifer.