Android (operating system)

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A typical Android user hears the announcement of the newest version, 4.0 "Cream Sandwich".

Android is an open-source smartphone and tablet operating system created by Google. It is one of the most widely used operating systems for smartphones and tablets, after being initially released in November of 2007, it has since overtaken the iPhone and is now being used on more phones and tablets than any other operating system for phones and tablets. Its main features include redundancy, full multitasking, the Android Market, repetition, Google's rich ecosystem, widget support, saying the same things over and over again in different ways, and customizability. It is one of the most popular operating systems for smartphones and tablets, nothing is better than Android and nothing ever will be - Repeat that out loud.

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edit History

Android was initially developed by Android inc, a group of radical anarchists bought out by Google in August of 2005, after an unfortunate incident in which Andy Rubin, now a prominent Google employee, attempted to imply that Yahoo was a superior search engine to Google. This led to wide speculation among industry analysts that Google planned to release a "Google Phone". These rumors accelerated after Steve Jobs unveiled the iPhone, sparking a rise in interest in phones that waste your time. In November of that year, Google revealed Android to the world, as well as announcing a partnership known as the Open Handset Alliance, with the dual purposes of improving the smartphone user experience and taking over the world. The first phones running Android were released late in 2008, just in time for everyone to already be using an iPhone. By 2009, your mom had discovered Android thanks to a nationwide advertising campaign by Verizon for the Motorola Droid, the first phone running Android 2.0 and the first to gain mainstream acceptance. By the end of that year, Android was fast becoming one of the most popular operating systems in the world, and manufacturers such as HTC, Black President Electronics and Sony Ericsson (now Sony) were creating their own manufacturer skins for the OS the problem was that they never updated their phones. This made users very angry and 5 Sony Ericsson and 2 HTC offices across the world were burnt down because of this, they have now learnt their lesson.

edit The "Year of Android"

2010 is widely considered the "year of Android". In this year, the OS first gained truly wide acceptance and mainstream prominence, with major Android phones on every American and international carrier, and recognition of the OS by people not living in their mother's basement or watching Star Trek reruns and reading Engadget in class. By the end of this year, Android had even overtaken the iPhone, causing Steve Jobs to cry himself to sleep every night while hugging a Macbook Pro.

edit Naming Scheme

Android releases are usually named after desserts, with the current names running in alphabetical order. When Android reaches version 27 and an alphabet name is no longer available, Larry Page will commit seppuku. Some of the most famous and influential releases are the initial developer release, 1.0 "Apple Pie", the first publicly released version, 1.5 "Cupcake", all the way to 2.2 "Froyo", 3.0 "Honeycomb", and the bleeding edge version 4.2 "Kitchen Knife".

edit Features

Android, despite the insistence of Apple Fans, has always been one of the leading operating systems in terms of features. In the spirit of Android's class-leading redundancy, I will now repeat the list from the introduction: redundancy, full multitasking, the Android Market, repetition, Google's rich ecosystem, widget support, saying the same things over and over again in different ways, and customizability. These features have been improved and refined through the years, with input from such luminaries in the industry as Sergey Brin, Eric Schmidt, George Bush, and an insane homeless man who lives near Google HQ.

edit Multitasking

Android's multitasking is one of its most controversial aspects. It has been claimed to be both more efficient and less so than that of its main competitor, iOS. It uses "full", or desktop style multitasking, (as google doesn't understand the difference between smartphone and computer.) which each app is running independently at the same time. This type of multitasking results in the phone not being able to do anything productive, this is unless you are a terrorist. The ability to run multiple programs at the same time allows a android phone to heat up to the point where it an be used as a IED. Unfortunately this takes away the market for several types of windows computers, such as Dell's. This is contrasted to iOS multitasking, in which each app is contained as an independent process, and certain features of it can run in the background. Proponents of Android's multitasking view it as more open and with a wider variety of applications, where as opponents view it as dangerous. In fact, both systems are most commonly used for listening to Coldplay while blogging about cutting yourself, so there is little difference in everyday applications.

edit Android Market

The android Market is so large that it is unable to be counted or searched (despite googles (limited) ability with search engines). Recent research suggests that the majority of apps are used to make android responsive to input,(unsucessfully of course) or to stop it repeating itself. The next group of app's are poorly made asian sex apps, which are actually used to control live interaction with tentacles that rape cross platform users (see below) The rest of the apps are apparently copied off Apple's App Store but we know that it is the other way around, developers love Android but Apple keeps raping them that they keep coming back for more!

edit Competition

Android's main competition is the iPhone. This fact depresses many Apple fanboys, who think that something as holy as the iPhone should only be competing with other things of beauty, such as God, flowers, and Steve Jobs' penis, for the attention of the world's populace. Since the release of the first Android phones in the fall of 2008, it has often been considered an "iPhone alternative" rather than a unique operating system of its own. This angers Google, who hate Apple more than most people hate their in-laws, and so have ordered anyone caught using both an iPhone and a Google product (for example, checking Gmail on an iPhone) to be immediately taken to Google's Mountain View campus for tentacle rape. Other competitors of Android include Windows Mobile, Blackberry, and WebOS. Of these secondary competitors, nobody cares.

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